nit Page 247 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"GAYTR" License Plate Raises Some Questions
An FSU fan seriously committed to the joke? A UF grad who's blissfully unaware? Or just one of the tens of thousands (statistically speaking) of literally gay Florida alumni, and we're just being insensitive jerks? (H/T to commenter chartman1.)...

David Hirshey Is Your World Cup Historian, Not Your World Cup Closer
David Hirshey wrote regularly for this site about soccer for two years before selling us out to write a terrific book for ESPN. He talked to Emeritus about the book, the World Cup and mustaches....

Watch Randy Foye's Mystifying Canadian TV Debut
Washington Wizard Randy Foye performed some small screen magic by appearing in an episode of the Canadian TV show Wingin' It. What Randy Foye has to do with Canadian tweens and angels is beyond me. And probably Randy Foye, too. [via FreeDarko]...

Juan Rivera Goes 1-For-4, Falls Into Temporal Wormhole
Here's a mind-melting Juan Rivera infinite regress from Tuesday's Angels-Rangers game. [Screengrab via reader Josh; video at MLB.com]...

So, About That Cubs-Lighting-Their-Farts Story
By now you've probably heard the rumor that Chicago's Jeff Baker missed time because he burned his backside trying to light a fart in the clubhouse. We thought this was worth some investigation....

Who Is The <em>SportsCenter</em> Farter This Time?
During an impassioned discussion on the Cleveland Browns, someone on the SportsCenter NFL draft panel cut one, just as Mike Tirico began to giggle. Was this a laughter-induced fart or fart-induced laughter? Who is the flatulent panelist? Deadspin-I-Team, assemble. H/T Steve....

ESPN.com Editors Can't Appreciate A Good Manly Kiss
It's not so much that the image on the front page of Soccernet is Gary Neville warmly congratulating Paul Scholes on his game-winner. It's more that the original filename was "nevillegay" (since been changed to "nevillekiss"). [ESPN.com]...

No Signs Of Intelligent Life At Yankee Stadium
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Man United’s European Exit Recreated Using Lego!
And they say that children can't concentrate any more....

How Did That False Amy Mickelson-Michael Jordan Rumor Start Anyway?
One of the the hottest Google searches today* is for "Amy Mickelson Michael Jordan affair." The results lead to unsourced nonsense about Phil Mickelson's illegitimate love child and his wife banging a basketball star. How the heck did that happen?...

Penn State Kicker Drinks Like A Sorority Girl
Anthony Fera, PSU's sophomore kicker, was cited for underage drinking. His beverage of choice? Cruzan Mango Rum. Easy there, tiger. [Post-Gazette]...

Jeff Samardzija: "Great Lover/Friend," Says An Ex
Not every tip we've received about Jeff Samardzija has been negative. He has his defenders, too, and some pretty dedicated ones. So in the interests of fair play and equal time here's a very thoughtful defense of "The Shark."...

I-Team Report: Jeff Samardzija May Or May Not Have Attempted To Sex Ladies
Believe it or not, we actually have some updates about Cubs pitcher Jeff Samardzija's "sad" Daytona past. And if they are to believed...well, they're pretty boring. Hey, that's just how (some) investigative journalism gets done....

How Did Jeff Samardzija Spend His Daytona Nights?
Jeff Samardzija's Major League Baseball career has been less than stellar (2010 ERA: 108.00!), but if sponsored internet smack is to be believed, his minor league career (specifically, the "off the field late night activities" part) was quite interesting indeed....

Your Tiger Woods <em>Vanity Fair</em> Preview Recap: Sex In Cars And Subway Chicken Wraps Do Not A Girlfriend Make
May's Vanity Fair will feature Mark Seal's in-depth account of the Tiger Woods Saga. Seal interviewed four of Woods' mistresses and several of his handlers. After the jump, what can you expect to learn when when the mag hits newsstands....

Socialized Soccer: The Ill-Conceived Plan To Return English Football To The English
Sick of foreign businessmen and oil magnates buying up the Premiership's best, then driving them into the ground, the government has proposed some ways to put teams back in the hands of the fans. They're all unworkable....

David Mamet's All-Caps Memo To TV Writers Is Delightful: "The Scene Is A Crock Of Shit"
Slashfilm got a hold of a David Mamet memo (say that three times fast and cuss profusely) to the writing staff of The Unit, a show he created. Simply put, he isn't pleased with their work. FUCK THE MACHINE! [Slashfilm]...

Crotch Punch Fulfills Every Crotch Punch's Destiny, Gets Immortalized On Videotape, Part II
And now here's the video of Jackson State's Phillip Williams nutpunching Mississippi State's Dee Bost. By the time the NIT's over, we'll have a whole new section of sopranos for the pope's choir. ...

Crotch Punch Fulfills Every Crotch Punch's Destiny, Gets Immortalized On Videotape
Here's the video of Seton Hall's Herb Pope doing to Texas Tech's Darko Cohadarevic what a thousand youth baseball bats have done to two thousand youth-coach testicles. [YouTube, via TBL]...

Cockpunch Night In The NIT
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....