nit Page 248 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
RSS Readers Will Not Get To See Where This Telestrator Vagina Came From
Yes, yes — I know. Those of you reading this on RSS will probably only get a portion of this message and it will leave you wondering, "Hey, what the crap happened to the full Deadspin feed, those greedy basta..."...
Newcastle Signs Peter Parker, Goblin Attacks Up 32%
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Squash Players Are Just The Worst
Have you seen the trash-talking squash player video? It so matches the intensity of football or basketball that I almost wish those sports had never been invented so I wouldn't have to see squash players acting like such goons....
JuCo Coach Goes After Refs, Gets Cuffed
A coach and one of his players were arrested while confronting referees after a loss. Women's junior college basketball fever: catch it!...
Man Claims Sportsbook Stiffed Him On Silly Kim Kardashian Prop Bet...Which They Did
A reader placed a tiny wager on what color top Reggie Bush's gilrfriend would wear to the Super Bowl. His choice? Black. It appears, in that photo, to be black. He claims Bodog.com would not pay out. Who will die?...
Well, We Found Longhorn Girl
A helpful classmate tipped us off to the young lady's name, and Deadspin Investigative Services sprung into action. There turned out to be quite the paper trail; follow it with us, won't you?...
The Curious Case Of Longhorn Girl
Who is this comely lass with the burnt-orange hair and why was she strategically placed behind the Kansas bench last night? Was she there to distract Jayhawk players from their defensive assignments or as ESPN's Valentine to lonely basketball fans?...
Astonishing Tales Of Insanity: The 23-Mile Parachute Jump vs. Rocket Sled
An Austrian skydiver is planning to jump out of a balloon 120,000 feet above the Earth. Is that more or less stupid than a guy strapping a muffler filled with gasoline to his back while sledding down a hill?...
Tonight's Most Important Basketball Game Was Valedictorian In High School
Two college basketball teams will battle for conference supremacy tonight in a game that involves a nationally-renowned point guard, allegations of casual racism, a murky college recruiting scandal, and a biting journalist Twitter feud. That's right: Harvard is playing Cornell....
TCU, Lacking BCS Recognition, Tries A Little Branding
A TCU student is planning to sue everyone and everybody after being branded with his fraternity's letters. That student's name: Amon Carter IV. Hey, don't the Horned Frogs play in Amon G. Carter Stadium?...
Shawne Merriman's Fetus Wants Legal Recognition
Merriman was hit with a paternity suit this week, in an odd case in which he's admitted the unborn child is his. And before you ask, don't worry; Tila Tequila has not reproduced....
No One In The Premier League Has Any Money
One team is having broadcast revenue payments withheld to cover their debts. One manager might have been paid via offshore accounts to avoid taxes. And Manchester United could be forced to sell off Old Trafford itself....
Manchester United Haters, Rejoice
It had been an exceedingly boring FA Cup, with all the favorites going through. That is, until about an hour ago. Mighty Man U fell to a League One side, and not just any side: Leeds, their historic rivals....
Didn't Throw Up Enough On New Year's Day? This Should Do the Trick
Warning: the image after the jump, of Florida Gators running back Jeff Demps's elbow doing something it's not supposed to, isn't for the squeamish. So go ahead and skip it while I mock you by prancing around the room daintily....
Nope, Kazaam Isn't Any Better In 3D
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Manchester United Player Mows Your Lawn. Literally.
Man U. winger Gabriel Obertan makes £20,000 a week even though he's out with an injury—so the team has him pruning bushes and washing cars to earn his keep. [TheSun, via Unprofessional Foul]...
Chelsea! Man U! Dental Hygiene!
A thrilling 1-0 game between the clubs atop the table is no reason for this Chelsea supporter to forget to brush his teeth mid-match. [Off The Post]...
Why Are So Many Quarterbacks Kicking So Much Ass? Jamboroo, Week 9
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Deleted Scenes From The Sports Guy Book Tour
Bill Simmons' book tour continues apace (NY Times #1 bestseller!) and we also continue to get dispatches from fans of overweight literature. Enjoy these tales of long lines, blurry photographs, and some guy who likes autographed meat....
Waiting In Line For The Sports Guy
ESPN's Bill Simmons brought his "The Book of Basketball" signing tour to annoying East Village bar Professor Thom's last night and our NYC Deadspin operatives waited in line so we wouldn't have to. Bless their little hearts....