nit Page 253 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Deadspin I-Team: The Case Of Plaxico Burress' Sweat Pants
Plaxico Burress's saga has now reached its sad dénouement, with the former Giant matriculating into the New York penal system. One loose end remains, however: the matter of the sweat pants he wasn't wearing. Who's responsible for the sweat-pants misinformation?...

Finally, Objective Proof That Referees Favor Manchester United
Imagine if every time the Yankees lost, the umps decided to play a 10th inning. That's what's happening in England, with (obviously) Man U being the beneficiary of some super-shady timekeeping....

You Will Physically Flinch While Reading This Story
See those four things over on the left? Those are fasteners. They should be clamped on to dumbbell bars, and not your penis. One poor soul missed that memo....

From The Desk Of Gary Belsky: Gynecology Edition
Gary Belsky is the EIC of ESPN The Magazine, which you probably know as the strange, unwieldy object wedged into your mailbox every other week. Sometimes, funny things happen at Gary's magazine, and employees tell us about them....

How To Get A Woman To Start Thinking Divorce At Her Wedding
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Deadspin I-Team: Who Is Rick Reilly's Virtual Bodyguard?
Avid readers of Rick Reilly®'s Wikipedia entry might've noticed a recent change: It is now, in every sense of the word, toothless....

And Here Comes The "Pitino Is A Baby Killer" Hysteria
Shockingly, Louisville's pro-life students are not impressed with how their coach handled the post-restaurant floor mom-banging: "Rick Pitino was willing to take his own child's life in order to cover up a cheap, tawdry affair."[ALL.org]...

Deadspin I-Team: The Drill That Dare Not Speak Its Name
The Dallas Morning News has one of those quirky-training-regimen stories today that bloom annually during NFL training camp and which usually involve yoga or interpretive dance or whatever. This one, however, is about an unprintably named tire-flipping drill. I-Team, assemble!...

If A Photo Of A Norwegian Black Metal Band Is On Deadspin, That Means Shit Is Seriously Messed Up
For real. This is the first snow day since I've been at Gawker, but the server problems are quite severe this time site-wide and it's making everyone's day miserable. So we're shutting it down for today....

Where In The World Was Matthew Stafford?
We asked where these photos of Matthew Stafford's summer vacation were taken, and boy, did we get some answers. It's just too bad they all contradicted each other....

American Sports Need More PowerPoint Presentations
Michael Owen—remember the "Michael Jordan of soccer" talk?—put together a 32-page brochure about his accomplishments and handsomeness to try and convince teams to give him a contract. Nothing says "dangerous goal scorer" quite like bar graphs! [DailyMirror/Decleater]...

Chris Berman: The Next Cronkite
In the wake of Walter Cronkite's passing, the Washington Post asked a few famous personages to "suggest public figures who meet the Cronkite standard of trustworthiness." The list is pretty much as you'd expect. Oprah, Bill Moyers, Chris Berman....

The Agony Of Upkeep
There are many shitty things about growing old. But here's one of the shittiest: paying lots of money simply to maintain the shit you already have....

From The Desk Of Gary Belsky: Altruism Edition
Gary Belsky is the EIC of ESPN The Magazine, which you probably know as the strange, unwieldy object wedged into your mailbox every other week. Sometimes, funny things happen at Gary's magazine, and employees tell us about them....

Chris Berman And The Home Run Derby: Deadspin I-Team Looks Back, Back, Back, Back
The home run derby is tonight, and phrasemaking teevee personage Chris Berman will surely use this opportunity to deploy his famous "back, etc." home run call. I-Team wondered: How many times has Berman said the word "back" over the years?...

Hypospadias And You: An In-Depth Study Of Bong Dick
I live in the DC area and I have a baby boy, so it's only natural that scientists have now discovered that DC drinking water might be deforming baby boy's genitals. WOOHOO!...

From The Desk Of Gary Belsky: Hygiene Edition
Gary Belsky is the EIC of ESPN The Magazine, which you probably know as the strange, unwieldy object wedged into your mailbox every other week. Sometimes, funny things happen at Gary's magazine, and employees tell us about them....

And Now Let's Dive Into This Bizarre Steve McNair Situation
First it was a double homicide. Then it was murder-suicide. Now it's just tragic and sad. And TMZ has pictures of the doomed couple parasailing....

Just In Case You Still Haven't Booked Your Summer Vacation
Former NFL/AFL kicker Paul Edinger has a kicking camp in Costa Rica. He named the camp "Kickin It In Costa Rica" where he offers his professional services to young kickers who aspire to be professionals. In Costa Rica....

Sad About Michael Jackson's Death? Tack An Andre Rison Jersey To His Childhood Home
Yesterday, professional athletes and their Twitter universes reacted to Michael Jackson's death (some more than others), but this makeshift tribute at his childhood home in Gary, Indiana gives the tenuous sports-King Of Pop connection an absurd little twist....