nit Page 255 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
OK Baby Mangino; Prepare For The Terrible Retribution Of Baby JoePa
As Baby Mangino stomps through the SHOTY competition leaving terror and thousands of empty Gerber jars in his wake, many were beginning to doubt that anything could stop him. We were looking for a hero, and now, at the 11th hour, we may have found one. Indroducing Baby JoePa, who, like the original,...
This UFL Logo Is Easy To Swallow, But Hard To Take In
Remember that Communications 101 class you took where you'd spend hours inspecting the Land O Lakes package with a magnifying glass to search for penis-shaped trees? That was fun. But thankfully the United Football League has taken a less than subtle approach with its subliminal message. Yes, it ver...
When I Think Of Alluring Fragrances, I Think Of College Football
Looking for perfume for your sweetie for Christmas? Then you'll want to spring for the best, and what woman wouldn't want to go out on the town smelling like a Rose Bowl-eligible football team? Introducing Penn State fragrances for men and women. Ahh, smells like victory. Or Joe Patero's loafers....
Citi Field and Manchester United: Your Tax Dollars At Work
The government's bailout of our collapsing financial industry continues apace—you got your check, right?—but now that these companies are playing with our money, suddenly everyone is an expert. Some are suggesting that maybe the reason these firms are in trouble is because they like to waste money a...
Where the Strong Feast On the Weak
Welcome to another glorious weekend at the Deadspin Pub. This week we're featuring huge clashes between Italian powers Inter and Juventus as well as a huge match in England pitting the Red Devils against the Villans. Aside from that the day is primarily composed of world powers like Liverpool, Chels...
What Is There To Do In State College, Pennsylvania?
Tomorrow morning, I will wake up at an unholy hour to drive to Penn State University for the foot-ball contest between the nation's two premiere land grant colleges. (Look it up.) It will be my first trip ever to Happy Valley and Beaver Stadium and part of my journey will be to figure out why there ...
Richie Incognito Prefers Angry Boos To Quiet Indifference
Things are tough all over in St. Louis, what with the Rams playing out the string on a 2-8 season with the sinking realization that Jim Haslett is who we thought he was. Perhaps the only thing that could make it better is to have a nice public feud between players and fans over who is worse at their...
The Seminoles vs. The Sigmas: A Blow-By-Blow Account
More details are floating in about the battle royale between members of the Florida State football team and the Phi Beta Sigma fraternity and if they turn out to be true ... they are amazing. The Seminole fan blog I Bleed Garnet and Gold has what is reported to be an eyewitness account of the procee...
Florida State Prepares For Boston College... By Thumping Some Black Frat Boys?
Details are still sketchy at this point, but apparently there was a little brouhaha on the campus of Florida State University yesterday and we don't want to alarm you ... but the football team may have been involved. Campus police say about ten individuals were involved (including at least two women...
Hey, My Celebration Looked A Lot Like That
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin. There's only one person to blame for ruining Arsenal's 2-1 victory over United on Saturday: Wolfgang Puck. The catering arm of his food empire served the conference I was at last Thursday, the pains in my stomach a couple of hours after lun...
The Deadspin Pub Is Up Early For Manchester-Arsenal
There's no questioning what the match of the weekend is this time around as two of England's big four meet at Emirates Stadium at a crucial point in the year. The Red Devils are clearly the team in form while the Gunners will be forced to go without the services of Emanuel Adebayor (injury) and Robi...
Pants-Gate: Mike Singletary WILL Find Out Who Snitched
An investigation is underway in San Fransisco, and no man, woman, or child is safe from its reaches. No sir; not for as long as Mike Singletary is around. The Niners' new coach is determined to find out who told the press about his rather hilarious motivational tactics, which have brought shame and...
The Deadspin Pub Opens Early This Morning
Holy crap, don't these Brits know we're trying to sleep over here. I'm jetlagged and there's know way in hell I'm waking up at the crack of dawn to watch the Red Devils. But still, it's a pretty good game, so I'll probably be arriving at my couch in about an hour. If you are up for the early match ...
Hey, Wait A Minute, Didn't Braylon Edwards Go To Michigan?
Here's Cleveland wide receiver Braylon Edwards proudly representing the school logo ... unfortunately though, it's the wrong school. We know that the Wolverines have been struggling lately, but Penn State, a Big Ten rival? That's cold, man. Edwards channeled the JoePa mojo to catch five passes for 1...
Sock it To Me, Sir Alex
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin Sir Alex Ferguson can go fuck himself. Okay, literally, that might be a bit of a tall order, but he does have a saggy set of B-cups so he could at least give himself a good feeling up. I mean this with the utmost respect, of course—the guy h...
Blue Is the Colour, Football Is the Game
We've had to wait since May's epic Champions League Final but the time has finally come for the Blues of Chelsea to take on the Red Devils of Manchester United. Holy crap, I'm all tingly. Obviously I'm a bit of a homer for Chelsea, which is why I won't be live blogging the contest. That and I'll be...
Four More Years
Michael Bertin writes about soccer regularly for Deadspin. I'm big into self-preservation, so if I'm in the path of a hurricane—which having been temporarily relocated to Houston, I am (or was)—it's not going to take much cable news fear-mongering to get me to evacuate. And that's the story of how I...
Creative Ways to Cheat Your Way to Success Back at the Office
Over the weekend, we've been presented with numerous ways to succeed by circumventing unfair and inappropriate "rules" meant to hurt you and not others by not giving you everything you want immediately. As we close out this weekend, let us give you the tools used by sports teams across the globe so ...
Liverpool Stuns Manchester, Chelsea Wins Billionaire Boys Club Derby
Rafa Benitez has finally secured his first triumph over Manchester United in over six years with Liverpool's 2-1 victory this morning at Anfield. Despite surrendering an early goal, and playing without Fernando Torres, the home side pulled off the unexpected result on Ryan Babel's 77th minute game ...
Before The Live Blog: Pour Out A Little Splash From The Mini-Keg Tonight For ICCC President Robert Paxton
You may recall on Monday when I posted a DUAN! story about Iowa Central Community College president Robert Paxton's ridiculous boat party pictures that were published in the Des Moines Register. The photos caused quite a stir in sleepy central Iowa academia. Unfortunately, Paxton's contention that t...