nit Page 259 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the father, son and the holy ghost catch the last train for the coast ... • Cycling: Tour de France, stage 9, Val-d'Isere to Briancon, France. Can you deal with Enhanced Prime? [Versus] • WNBA: Minnesota at Connecticut; Seattle at Phoenix. The excitement is palpable. [ESPN2] • MLB: ...


WooHoo! We Have A Big Gold Cup!
On the strength of a ridiculously good volley off the foot of someone named Benny Feilhaber, the United States men's soccer team continued their ownership of Mexico today, winning 2-1 and bringing home the CONCACAF Gold Cup....

An Unspectacular Arsenal
Bad news for Arsenal fans ... in fact, bad news for all Premiership fans. Thierry Henry is taking his nifty feet and moving to Barcelona. With the move, Arsenal now seems like just another team while Barcelona inspires thoughts of, "Holy Christ, look at that line-up."...

LeBron James vs. Tony Soprano
It is the choice of the weekend for sports fans who are also Sopranos fans: From 9-10 p.m. ET, do you watch Game 2 of the NBA Finals or do you watch the series finale of "The Sopranos?"...

Nice Pitching, You Blockhead
Look, there's probably no tougher job in baseball than that of closer. But that being said, it's hard to imagine someone failing at it in more spectacular fashion than did the Giants' Armando Benitez last week. The Giants had a one-run lead in the ninth against the Mets on May 29 when Benitez was br...

Mark Cuban Has A Thing For Girdle Pads
Finally, a pro football league with second-rate players which plays on Friday nights in places like San Antonio and Sacramento. It's like someone has been recording our dreams!...

JoePa Will Put Your Ass To Work
We love Joe Paterno. Whereas many coaches would discipline their players for a campus fight by suspending them or — more likely — not doing anything at all, the Penn State legend is forcing them to clean the inside of the stadium....

Welcome, Jezebel: Turn To The Worship Of Her God Baal
The classy, bombastic lovely ladies seen here are the editors of the newest site from our benevolent benefactors at Gawker Media, Jezebel, which launched today. The basic premise of the site is mapped out in a manifesto about the five biggest lies that women's magazines spew. Personally, we've alway...

A Gruesome End To All That
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Chelsea Are Your FA Champions
It must've been a rough morning for our pal David Hirshey. Not only did Chelsea get a 1-0 win when Didier Drogba scored in extra time, but it came at the end of a game that's been described as "rubbish football" and "cack."...

The New (Old) Mind Behind US Soccer
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

My Other Car Is A Recliner
We hate to spoil everyone's fun, but with fuel prices at unprecedented levels, do we really need motorized furniture? It seems very imprudent. This guy here broke the furniture land speed record recently by pushing his sofa to 92 mph ("The upholstery will ne're hold, capt'n!"), but what bothers us m...

Carmelo Anthony Should Live Rather Comfortably
Over the weekend, The Rocky Mountain News told the tale of Carmelo Anthony's new pad in suburban Denver. (Via Slushy Gutter.) The place originally was listed at $17 million, but its price was "slashed" to a far more modest $11.95 million. Some great factoids:...

Premiership Title Gift-Wrapped For Manchester United
Manchester United clinched the Premiership title this afternoon, on a day when they were not playing, their head coach was on the golf course, and two other teams tied....

Today In The Premiership...
• Man City 0-1 Man Utd. The derby win means that Chelsea has to beat Arsenal tomorrow, or Manchester United clinches the Premiership title. I realize that this is somber news for the Manchester United haters, so I offer this as well:...

The Best Possible Reason To Buy An MLS Jersey
I don't know if I can take another second of NFL Draft coverage. No matter what I look at now, a tree, a drunken hobo, a bag of cocaine, I see a scrolling "team needs" bar underneath it, and I hear Mel Kiper telling me about its ability to explode. So we leave you today with something, hopefully, ki...