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Tonight's <i>SNL</i> Featured 30 Nearly Perfect Seconds

This entire sketch was less than two minutes long, and we credit the Saturday Night Live writing staff for recognizing the bit really only needed that much time. Get in, make the joke, get out. ...

Ottawa Takes 3-2 Series Lead On Kyle Turris Overtime Goal<em></em>

Jimmy Vesey’s heroics did not hold up as Ottawa tied up the Rangers with 90 seconds remaining in regulation and then scored 6:28 into overtime as Kyle Turris scored his third career playoff OT goal to give the Senators a 5-4 win and a 3-2 series lead....

ACC Officials Reassure Schools That ESPN Is Still Giving Them Their Own Network

In the wake of the highly publicized layoffs taking place at ESPN, officials within the ACC have spent the past week assuaging the concerns of conference members, reassuring them that the network still plans to move forward with the ACC Network....

Gareon Conley's Lawyer Now Says Conley And Accuser Had "Consensual Sexual Event" 

Raiders first-round draft pick Gareon Conley had previously said that the rape accusation against him was “completely false,” and referred to the witnesses’ accounts in the Cleveland police report for the real story. Now, there are multiple stories....

Connor McDavid's Third Goal Of The Playoffs Was Magical

Connor McDavid tied things up—briefly—for the Oilers tonight against Anaheim with a play that looked an awful lot like what The Great One used to do at the old Coliseum. Just, you know, two digits less....

Could Americans Have Done This With <i>O Canada</i>?

Robin Lopez Brings His Extremely Chill, Fluffy Dog To Interview

The Bulls were eliminated from the playoffs last night, which meant exit interviews today. These are understandably but almost invariably boring, rehashed collections of clichéd athlete-speak. Unless you bring along your delightfully relaxed giant fluffer of a dog, Muppet, as Robin Lopez did this af...

No ESPN Isn’t Losing Money Because It’s Liberal You Clueless Morons

ESPN is still going through the worst round of public layoffs in its history, and while the reasons why the company is firing everyone are plainly evident, there are still people out there ascribing the channel’s struggles to its political leanings (which, frankly, don’t even exist), and basking in ...

The Raiders Placed A Bet On Gareon Conley

The Raiders took Ohio State CB Gareon Conley with the 24th pick of last night NFL Draft, much lower than he was expected to go a week ago, and much higher than many teams were willing to take him. Conley is the subject of a rape investigation in Cleveland, and it’s pretty exhausting that, yet again,...

Takkarist McKinley Dedicates Being Selected By The Falcons To Grandmother In Emotional, "Fine Me Later" Frenzy<em></em>

Takkarist McKinley was raised by his grandmother, and he promised just before she died that he’d make it to a Division I football team. Having achieved that—and then some—the UCLA defensive end brought a photo of his grandmother to the stage after his selection by the Falcons with the 26th pick; he ...

ESPN's Diminished Future Has Become Its Present<em></em>

ESPN laid off dozens of reporters, writers, analysts, talking heads, and behind-the-scenes folks yesterday. If the names were surprising—some of these people had worked at ESPN for decades, and some were practically synonymous with the network—the layoffs themselves were not. They’ve been coming for...

Scott Van Pelt's 1 Big Thing A Tribute To Laid-Off ESPNers

Like Bob Ley and a number of other ESPN hosts today, ESPN midnight SportsCenter anchor Scott Van Pelt addressed today’s ESPN layoffs during his trademark 1 Big Thing segment. Van Pelt expressed sympathy for his departed former colleagues, noting that they did nothing wrong to “deserve” being laid of...

ESPN's Latest Layoffs Are Just A Way To Buy Time<em></em>

The big ESPN layoffs that everyone knew were coming finally arrived today, and the culling has been as brutal as anyone could have expected. Though the final number isn’t in yet, various reports have around 100 people losing their jobs, and many of the people who have been fired so far aren’t just l...

Premier League Player Banned 18 Months For Betting On Over 1,000 Soccer Matches

Burnley midfielder and one-time England international Joey Barton has been banned from soccer for 18 months by the F.A. today after an investigation revealed he had bet on 1,260 matches from 2006 to 2013, including at least five games in which he himself played. Barton released a statement owning up...

Bob Ley Closes <i>Outside The Lines</i> With A Farewell To Those Laid Off By ESPN

Today’s ESPN layoffs have been a bloodbath—and they’re still ongoing. You’ll find goodbyes and tributes to former colleagues all over Twitter, but there appears to be just this one mention of the brutal cuts on ESPN programming....

It Looks Like Marshawn Lynch's Return To The NFL Is Really Happening

The idea of Marshawn Lynch coming out of retirement to play for the Oakland Raiders has been floating around for some time, and now it seems like this is actually happening....

A Running List Of ESPN Layoffs<em></em>

With phone calls and meetings beginning informing some ESPN employees that they have been laid off, word will slowly trickle out all day long about who they are. There will be plenty of names you have heard of, as ESPN reorients their daily lineup of shows, and their online video and stories to matc...

ESPN Officially Announces Layoffs, Says Very Little Else

In a buzzword-filled memo that otherwise said very little, ESPN president John Skipper announced officially this morning what has been known for awhile: Layoffs are coming to ESPN, starting today....

NFL Draft Prospect Gareon Conley Accused Of Sexual Assault [Updates]

A player who is expected to go in the first round of Thursday’s NFL draft has been accused of sexual assault, according to Cleveland 19 News. But this is a weird one: The station is not naming the player, despite having a statement from his attorney, because the cops are dragging their feet on filin...

Cubs Pitching Coach Comes Very Close To Accusing Eric Thames Of Juicing

The Cubs just wrapped a three-game series against the Milwaukee Brewers, during which newly imported Brewers hitting sensation Eric Thames scored six runs and hit .545 with a home run. Thames has exploded onto the scene after spending a few years tearing up the KBO, and he looks like a completely di...