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Whip It Good: <i>Fifty Shades of Grey, </i>Reviewed
1. I've never read the book Fifty Shades of Grey, but I'm fairly certain this film is the best possible adaptation of the material. From the looks of it, the 2011 erotica sensation seems not only to lack any semblance of a story, but even the backbone of one—as if author E.L. James never really th...

Hall Of Fame NCAA Basketball Coach Jerry Tarkanian Has Died
According to his son, legendary college basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian has passed away today in a Las Vegas hospital. The 84-year-old had been battling a respiratory infection for the past few days, and various health problems for months....

LeBron Acknowledges Cryptic Tweet Calling Out Kevin Love
The Cavaliers are back on that horse, having broken a worrying slump with a 13-1 run; early panic is a memory, and another deep playoff run looks probable. But all isn't well in Cleveland. Kevin Love—who can become opt out of his contract this summer, by the way—cannot find his groove, especially on...

Dodge This: The Lousy, Endless <i>Jupiter Ascending, </i>Reviewed
1. Why did The Matrix work? For all its pseudo-philosophy and whiz-bang effects, for all its blue-pill-red-pill This is all an illusion sci-fi wonkery, may I humbly suggest that it was Keanu Reeves all along? Without him, you have a fun, expansive vision that may have never escaped its creators' h...

This Seems Like Something You Couldn't Be "Not Sure" About
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

LeGarrette Blount Holds Up "Bitch Mode" Shirt At Pats' Parade
That's cold, LeGarrette. Too cold, perhaps....

Aaron Hernandez Comforted Odin Lloyd's Girlfriend After Shooting
Shaneah Jenkins, girlfriend to Odin Lloyd and sister to Aaron Hernandez's fiancée, Shayanna Jenkins, testified at Hernandez's murder trial yesterday, and she recounted a moment that, should Hernandez eventually be found guilty of murdering Lloyd, is pretty goddamn dark....

Pete Carroll Denies Reports That He Changed Seahawks' Final Play
Pete Carroll, who subscribes to one of the more explosive conspiracy theories out there, categorically denies any truth to the conspiracy theory that the Seahawks' desire to make a Super Bowl hero out of Russell Wilson and not Marshawn Lynch led him to overrule the fateful playcall....

Pete Carroll Tries To Explain What The Fuck He Was Thinking
Here is Pete Carroll fumbling around an explanation for why he decided to throw against the Patriots on 2nd-and-1 from the one-yard line instead of unleashing Marshawn Lynch a couple of times. In the next day or two you will read hundreds of paragraphs about why it was a bad decision, but I think th...

Watch Tonight's <i>SNL</i> Cold Open Feat. Richard Sherman & Marshawn Lynch
Tonight's Saturday Night Live cold open featuring "Richard Sherman" and a reticent-as-always "Marshawn Lynch" improved greatly over last week's weak Ballghazi-themed effort. Jay Pharoah pulls out a pretty solid attempt at Sherman's intensity....

This Claymation Beast Quake Is Almost As Good As The Real Thing
You know that free time you're wasting by reading this website? Stop doing that, and go create something even half as cool as this claymation Beast Quake from Instagram user azxd. Featuring the audio call from the real Beast Quake and defenders rising from the ground like zombies, it's the perfect...

Marshawn Lynch's Outtakes From Gaming With Gronk Are Also Very Funny
Marshawn Lynch and Gronk played some video games on Conan's show the other day and it was great. Attempting to satiate an insatiable demand for all things Marshawn Lynch, Team Coco has uploaded a video of outtakes from the shoot, appropriately calling it "Marshawnisms." What's a Marshawnism? Probabl...

Four Ways To Quit: Run Long Like The Kenyans
Justin Lagat, who lives in Kenya, in fact, is Kenyan, wrote a piece for RunBlogRun on the four ways in which Kenyans do their long runs. Since our very lean friends from the Rift Valley own distance running, this post, I thought, held great promise—secrets revealed, myths busted, the spleen-witherin...

Oliver Ekman-Larsson Scores Distant Shorthanded Goal On Hapless Leafs
Arizona Coyotes defenseman Oliver Ekman-Larsson was only trying to dump the puck, but the unintended accuracy gave him his 13th goal of the season as the "shot" got past Maple Leafs goalie Jonathan Bernier. Toronto is at the point where it can't even lose a lead on an even-strength goal....

Marshawn Lynch And Gronk Got Together To Play Some Video Games
Conan had Rob Gronkowski and Marshawn Lynch on his show to play the yet-to-be-released Mortal Kombat X, and there was really no way the premise couldn't deliver. Come for the discussion about Mario Kart characters, and stay for Marshawn Lynch teaching Conan how to properly taunt the opposition by gr...

Katy Perry Vs. Marshawn Lynch: The "Don't Get Fined" Mashup
Pop star and Super Bowl halftime performer Katy Perry dropped a few Lynchian "I'm just here so I won't get fined" lines during her presser today in Glendale, so we mashed her up with some of Marshawn's original versions from yesterday. Have fun, kids!...

Minnesota Timberwolves Hit Kevin Love With A Solid Burn
For the first time since being traded to the Cleveland Cavaliers, Kevin Love will play a game against his former team, the Minnesota Timberwolves, in Minnesota tonight. To show everyone just how pumped they are for the return of their former star, the T-Wolves put together this very well-produced hy...

Lynch To Media: "If Y'all Ain't Mad At Me, Then What Y'all Here For?"
Marshawn Lynch had to make his final Super Bowl week media appearance today, and unlike his previous two press conferences, he came with a direct message for writers and reporters....

Marshawn Lynch Asked: "Tom Brady, Do You Think That Dude Gets Hyphy?"
Marshawn Lynch has said he hates talking to the media because he isn't comfortable with the attention. But could it actually be because he was asked the only question that matters seven years ago? Marshawn Lynch, do you feel that fellow Bay Area product Tom Brady gets hyphy?...

Watch Marshawn Lynch Frustrate Adult Reporters By Not Talking
Marshawn Lynch had to sit through another five-minute session with the media today. As expected, he didn't have anything to say—"You know why I'm here" was his go-to answer for the day—and oh man did that get under the skin of the grown men who, for some reason, continue to ask him questions....