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Jaromir Jagr's Playoff Beard Is Way Too Much
There are some things Jaromir Jagr is unmistakably great at. Playing hockey, for instance—which Jagr does especially well, even now, at the age of 41. When he puts his hips out and leans forward, with his body between the defender and the puck, no one can dream of filching possession. He may have b...

Joe Blanton Would Be Proud
More from Pat Jordan. Here is his latest for SB Nation Longform:...

Next Round Of ESPN Layoffs Coming This Week
Layoffs are coming to ESPN's production unit this week, according to several sources. A tipster told me this morning that "tension is at an all time high in production operations," and the cuts will begin tomorrow....

14 Innings And A Bench-Clearing Scrap: Just A Typical Red Sox-Rays Game
A nationally televised game that saw Tampa Bay overcome a 6-0 deficit, Boston take—and blow—a two-run 10th-inning lead, and a final out that wouldn't come until after midnight, and still all anyone could talk about was John Lackey plunking Matt Joyce. Here's a bold statement: Boston-Tampa Bay is the...

Want Free Stanley Cup Tickets? Try Impressing This Craigslist Weirdo
Are you a Chicago Blackhawks fan who desperately wants to go to Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals on Wednesday? Well this is your lucky day, because somebody is offering up two free tickets to the game on Craigslist. But don't go thinking that you won't be earning these tickets, buddy. Oh no, if you ...

Patrick Kane Finally Scores A Goal The Kings Can't Come Back From
The final goal of Patrick Kane's hat trick sent the Chicago Blackhawks to the Stanley Cup Finals and he needed an extra period and a half to do it thanks to Mike Richards....

Not Content Merely To Win, The Bruins Are Traumatizing Franchises
The Boston Bruins will welcome the winner of the Chicago-L.A. series to the Stanley Cup Final because of their utter dismantling of the Pittsburgh Penguins. In that series, the Bruins were able to stonewall a Pittsburgh team that won 75 percent of its regular season games and led the league in scori...

Woeful LA Dodgers Need More Of Wild-Pitch Walk-Off Hero Schumaker
Once again Friday night the Dodgers proved they can still fog a mirror. They got a game-tying homer in the sixth from the suddenly incomparable Yasiel Puig (who became just the second player since 1900 to bang out four home runs in his first five major league games) and then the winning run, on a wi...

Fight Breaks Out In Pricey Seats At Blackhawks-Kings Game
A fight broke out at a hockey game? That's not surprising. That it happened in the stands—and in seats that likely cost more than you or I could ever imagine affording—is....

Bruins' Gregory Campbell Breaks Leg, Finishes Shift
In the words of Doc Emrick, Gregory Campbell was "shaken up" after he lay down to block Evgeni Malkin's slap shot during a Penguins power play in last night's second period. Hobbling and barely able to move, Campbell played on for another minute or so, at one point nearly stealing the puck on a lazy...

Why Did The Penguins Let Brooks Orpik Keep Playing After This Hit?
One cannot easily diagnose traumatic brain injury by way of a television feed—some big hits can be harmless, and some small ones can pack an unexpected punch. But, watching on TV last night, it was hard to think Penguins defenseman Brooks Orpik, whose head was rammed into the glass by 228-pound Bru...

This Is Absolutely Disgusting
This is a woman (we think) applying sunscreen directly to her lips. ...

Joss Whedon Enjoys His Job More Than You Do
The best part about Joss Whedon's Much Ado About Nothing is that it's not particularly proud of itself for adapting Shakespeare. Filmmakers tend to tackle the Bard out of hubris (the Mel Gibson Hamlet), an attempt to be some sort of authority (Kenneth Branagh's Hamlet), a flamboyant go-for-batshit-...

Austin Collie Wants To Play Again, But He's Missing The Point
Remember Austin Collie? He's the once-promising Indianapolis Colts wide receiver who for a time seemed poised to replace Brandon Stokely as Peyton Manning's go-to slot receiver. He's also the guy who was concussed twice in 2010—once on the vicious hit you see above, and again just one month later i...

Hold that Tiger
From Stanley Woodward's great memoir, Paper Tiger, here's how the legendary newspaper editor lured Red Smith and Joe Palmer to the New York Herald Tribune:...

Man, The Los Angeles Clippers Just Can't Catch A Break
One of these days the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim will get the respect they deserve. ...

Nate Silver Tackles The Canadian Stanley Cup Drought
In nine days, we will celebrate(?) the 20th anniversary of Montreal's '93 championship, the last time a Canadian team hoisted the Stanley Cup. Today in the Times, Nate Silver takes a stab at the most jingoistically painful futility in professional sports....

Bill Simmons Thinks Memphis Fans Get Tense Because MLK Was Shot There
For many years now, Bill Simmons has positioned himself as a kind of ULTRA fan. He's not simply the voice of the fan anymore. He is more fan than you. He understands fandom in a way that you could not possibly understand. He understands that when fans get loud, things are going well! And when fans ...

ESPN President's Memo: Support The Troops; Also, We're Firing People
Below is a memo from ESPN president John Skipper, sent companywide just before the Memorial Day weekend and forwarded to us by a Bristol tipster. "This is the only communication we've received from upper management this week that mentions the layoffs," our tipster writes. Happy Memorial Day!...
![ESPN Is Now Hiring. Young And Cheap May Apply. [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18okcyp4lyt3hjpg.jpg)
ESPN Is Now Hiring. Young And Cheap May Apply. [UPDATE]
One ESPN source put it this way: ESPN "hacked" hundreds of jobs and will replace those laid off "with younger, cheaper, less experienced people."...