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He's Not Signaling How Many Outs Remain
Your morning roundup for April 19, the day we pre-ordered our Iggy Pop action figure....

The Tax Man's Charges Against Lenny Dykstra Actually Involve A Kitchen Sink
Your morning roundup for April 16, the day Ralphie turns 40, making a whole lot of people question their very mortality, their confidence as fra-gee-lay as a leglamp....

Here's Video Of A Pro Golfer Needing 16 Shots To Conquer A Par-4 Hole
Your morning roundup for April 15, the day after Walter Breuning died of natural causes. He was 114 years and 205 days old....

Mark Sanchez Talks About Getting Caught In An Elevator, 17-Year-Old Girl
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Mark Sanchez gets stuck in an elevator. And other stuff....

Dookie’s Obnoxious “Open Letter” To Kyrie Irving As Obnoxious As You’d Expect
Last night's NCAA title game was horrible to watch, so thank goodness Chris Cusack of the Duke Chronicle, who was apparently born with a bronzed asshole, is sending the 2011 college basketball season out on a high note by writing this very hateable open letter to Kyrie Irving....

The Cavs Got Their 15th Win Last Night, And It Happened To Be Over The Miami Heat
The Cleveland Cavaliers beat the Miami Heat at home last night, 102-90, for just their fifteenth win of the season. For the 51-23 Heat, who clinched a playoff spot over two weeks ago and just have to survive the remainder of the season without a significant injury, this was really just another sli...

Someone Stole Evan Longoria's AK-47
On Saturday, someone broke into the house that Longoria, David Price and Reid Brignac were renting for Spring Training. (Yes, it's precious that they're living together.) While they were at a game, someone entered through an unlocked window and removed $56,000 worth of " jewelry, cash, computer equi...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Captain Lou Albano
An occasional feature in which we honor the sport's fallen and examine their legacies. Today: Captain Lou Albano, who died of a heart attack in 2009....

Tim Kurkjian's Tweets Are A Little Bit Leery
Tim Kurkjian, Baseball Tonight's creaky-voiced elder statesman, started a Twitter a couple weeks ago. He might not be getting the hang of it....

The Fab Five Are Still Shit-Talking Christian Laettner
Did everyone watch "Fab Five" last night? If you're like us, you were most excited by the teaser of Jimmy King calling Christian Laettner a "bitch." Turns out he wasn't the only one with choice words for the face of that era's Duke team....

Meet Tim Lincecum, Fashion Icon
Your morning roundup for March 14, the day Rebecca Black beat out Unblinking Cricket Fan for Next Big Internet Meme....

Color Guy Bares His Soul After San Diego State's Game-Winning Layup
Marty Fletcher has always been a Gay guy. Watch him tell you all about it while footage of San Diego State's D.J Gay's game-winning layup against UNLV is replayed during CBS's post-game wrap-up. Next up up for Gay guy: SDSU vs. BYU for the Mountain West title....

Sheriff: Sweaty, Shirtless Man With Gun Stopped Near Scene Of Alleged Meriweather Shooting
The Orange County Sheriff's Office just dropped an info packet on our inbox. Some interesting tidbits in here. For one: Apopka police stopped a Dodge Stratus with four people inside a few blocks away from the shooting. In the car, the cops found a loaded Smith & Wesson hand gun "wrapped in a sweaty ...

Big Alabama Fan Catfish Strother Thinks An Auburn Supporter Might Could've Poisoned His Oak Tree
Your morning roundup for March 10, the day that a big-and-wide guy gets called to task for playing fast-and-loose with his words....

NFL Dream Job: The Miami Dolphins Are Hiring An Experienced Cotton Candy Maker
Last month, the MLB announced it was accepting applications for what was billed as a "dream job," or, watching somewhere in the range of 2,400 baseball games and writing about it. It sounded... fun. But the NFL may trump it with this opening, for an "experienced" cotton candy maker at the Dolphins' ...

Ivan Lendl's Dogs "Were Fucking Nuts": A Reader's Story
Yesterday, we brought you the story of how Ivan Lendl's German Shepherd, Cajun, gnawed on a man's leg and grew aroused. Today, we bring you the story of Ivan Lendl's pack of German Shepherds, lost in a blood frenzy, hunting and menacing a group of eight-year-old children on a school playground. We t...

When Ivan Lendl's German Shepherd Attacks And Pops Wood
Occasionally, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: The hazards of crossing rackets with Ivan Lendl when a German Shepherd (or four) is court side....

Without Good Faith: Explaining The Critical Ruling Against The NFL
In briefest terms, a federal judge's ruling found that the NFL's curious broadcast contracts for the 2011 season amount to a "war chest" the league improperly obtained specifically for a lockout. But what does this mean for fans, players and owners, and what happens next? Let's try to make a very co...

What These New Patrick Kane Photos Tell Us About Fame And The Perils Of Drinking Beer Through A Straw In Public
These are previously unseen photos of Patrick Kane and a pair of fellow Blackhawks celebrating with the Stanley Cup last summer. To be clear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with celebrating the greatest accomplishment in the sport, and they can't be criticized (except perhaps for drinking Bud Lig...

Stephen Paea Breaking The Combine Bench-Press Record Is The Most Homoerotic Thing You'll Watch Today
Oregon State defensive tackle Stephen Paea stole the show at the NFL Combine this weekend. The Pac-10 Defensive Player of the Year shattered the bench-press record with 49 reps at 225 pounds. Paea was rewarded with bragging rights as well as a tender, loving embrace by famed bench rep coach John L...