nl Page 194 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Is What You Get For Being A Slacker
If education is a carrot-and-stick operation, then for students in the Cincinnati, the reward for good grades was a chance to meet the Bengals at Paul Brown Stadium. Marvin Lewis accidentally invited the life of the party instead. Oops!...

Red Wings Show Their Age, Penguins Show Them The Door
For the first time in the Stanley Cup Finals, the Red Wings looked sad and old, while the younger, vitamin-eating Penguins skated circles around them to even the series. And none of us stayed up to watch "The Tonight Show."...

What Are You Watching Tonight?
Game 4 (pivotal!) of the Stanley Cup Finals is tonight. So is Game 1 (crucial!) of the NBA Finals. Which one is more important to you and/or your bookie?...

I Guess Pittsburgh Isn't Laying Down Quietly
The Penguins got a home game last night and now everything has changed! After taking care of Detroit in a must-win Game 3, the Stanley Cup Finals have become, say it with me ... a series....

Red Wings Wondering If Game 3 Could Please Be Played Tonight
Everyone was a little concerned about the "two games in two days" thing, especially the Detroit Red Wings who are old and don't walk so good anymore, but after the way they've handled the Penguins this weekend, they would probably like to wrap things up with a day-night doubleheader today....

How Does Marian Hossa Feel About His Choice Right Now?
The best subplot of the Stanley Cup Finals is the tale of Marian Hossa, who turned down a long-term deal from Pittsburgh after last year's Final to join up with the team that vanquished him and his Pengiuns. I bet he didn't expect to run into those guys again....

An Unbelievable Bunch Of Crap
A New Jersey grandmother playing craps at The Borgata in Atlantic City set a world record by rolling dice for four hours and 18 minutes—154 consecutive rolls—with out sevening out. She also got comped at the buffet, so that's nice. [Time, via Jezebel]...

Rick Majerus, Communicator Extraordinaire
From a review of Lance Allred's Longshot: The Adventures of a Deaf Fundamentalist Mormon Kid and His Journey to the NBA: "[Majerus] had a habit of calling Lance 'cunt extraordinaire' and ... would sometimes spell out 'cunt' with his fingers to make sure there was 'no miscommunication.'" [Cleveland S...

Your Wealth, Now In Wayne Chrebet's Bare Hands
SUBJECT: Wayne Chrebet: FROM: [redacted]@citi.com. "Saw this yesterday, only my firm would hire an ex nfl player who retired because of too many concussions. IMAGINE THE FINANCIAL ADVICE HE COULD GIVE! Please do not attach my name to this, I'd get fired." [Bloomberg]...

One-Handed Baller Nabs His Scholarship
Turns out, being a 6-foot-10 center was more important than having a full left arm for Kevin Laue, the subject of a New York Times profile and the recent recipient of a scholarship to play basketball for Manhattan College. How did Manhattan's coaches discover Laue? The Times' story, naturally. [NYT]...

Don't Call It A Comeback
He's baaaaacck. Dan Le Batard returned from his year-long sabbatical today, and if this profile of Jim Leyritz is any indication, his mind is sufficiently cleared. It's long, poignant and about Jim Leyritz, but still, take out a few minutes to read it. You're not doing anything better. [Miami Herald...

Ryan Leaf Used To Be Carried In The Arms Of Cheerleaders, Redux
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

And You Thought Winning The Spelling Bee Was A Longshot
"Over the years words like "Ilanders" (Islanders), "Leaes" (Leafs) and "Bqstqn" (Boston) have found their way onto the Stanley Cup, while more than a dozen players and coaches have had their names butchered." That's Sidney with an I, Louise St. Jacques! Someone with a silent S should know better. [W...

Ricky Rubio Is Already Getting The Hang Of The American Game
The ping-pong balls have barely settled, and already Ricky Rubio, the mopheaded Spaniard who reminds everyone of Pistol Pete if Pistol Pete had discovered the defensive crouch, is strongarming teams in the NBA draft....

Ads For Women's Workout Clothes In Australia Are Extreme
Note to men: if you ever meet a woman wearing "Skins" workout apparel just walk away slowly. She will kill you. [CopyRanter]...

John Lackey's Two-Pitch Debut Was Inspiring
What's with pitchers throwing at Ian Kinsler? First it was Bobby Jenks' $750 high heat, and now Angels' starter John Lackey decided the Rangers' second baseman needed a good plunking....

ESPNU/Time Warner Cable Experiencing Technical Difficulties, Porn (NSFW)
There can't be that many people watching ESPNU at 3:17AM, but on Saturday there was at least one, and he got a little surprise while hunting for a late-night sports fix (very NSFW)....

Pens Fans Attempt to Distract Capitals With Funny Faces
The Penguins have evened the score with the Capitals at 2-2 in after two periods of play in Washington. In other news, this Pittsburgh fan seems to be quite taken with Washington's coach Bruce Boudreau....

Gary Bettman Does Not Appreciate Your Octopus-Throwing Antics
A Red Wings fan throwing an octopus on the Columbus Blue Jackets home ice? Sir, this will not stand! (Scuffle ensues — see photo)....

ESPN Headline Writers Are Witty Rapscallions
Well isn't that special. But in ESPN's defense, there's probably not a whole lot you can do with news like this. [ESPN]...