nl Page 200 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Careful, It's Slippery
This angle, for which I am ever thankful the morning after, is not the greatest; CBC's camera had a better view, combined with two men sitting on the ice a couple feet away wearing Red Wings apparel, laughing their octopi-molesting asses off. At first I thought those two seedy Michiganders had somet...

Who Wants A Trophy-Shaped Cup? (Cup-Shaped Trophy?)
There once was a man by the name of Stanley, who decided that average trophies were not good enough for hockey teams, so he went and sculpted a cup based on a napkin drawing by Nigel Tufnel. The trophy was supposed to be 35 feet tall, but he got his inches and feet mixed up....

The Bus Needs Directions to the Stanley Cup Finals
The Deadspin Stanley Cup Finals Preview is brought to you by the five former Mouseketeers at Melt Your Face Off. And no, neither Britney nor Lindsay would give them the time of day....

Jon Lester Is Unbreakable
From Victor Conte and Barry Bonds to Brian McNamee and Roger Clemens, baseball has given us every reason in the world lately to be cynical, and yet we are not. The reason for that became evident once again on Monday night in Boston, when Jon Lester — who had beaten cancer just over a year ago — thre...

About Last Night
What you missed while watching the topless news ... • NBA: The crowd down at Cheers are still celebrating this one ... except for Norm, who's in the crapper. Celtics 97, Cavaliers 92. • NHL: Bow before our flightless, herring-breathed overlords. Penguins 6, Flyers 0. • Auto racing: I misunderstood ....

Ryan Leaf Cleans Out The Attic Of Tearful Regret
Was it really 10 years ago that the Indianapolis Colts made the fateful decision to draft Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf in the NFL draft? To mark the occasion, Leaf is showing off his No. 16 Colts jersey — yep, one such exists — which he found while rummaging through some personal belongings recentl...

Christian Laettner Inducted Into Hall Of Ethnic White People
For a Dukie, Christian Laettner had a decent enough NBA career: 13 seasons in the league with six teams, a member of the 1992 Dream Team and an All-Star reserve in 1997. And for that, he's going to the Hall. Oh no, you big silly, not the NBA Hall of Fame. He will enter The National Polish-American S...

Hawks Exit Stage Left
The Atlanta Hawks gave their fans plenty to cheer about with three home wins against the Celtics, but they were finally finished off this afternoon. Boston continued their home dominance with 99-65 curb-stomping, although it could have been much worse. The win sends them into the second round again...

About Last Night
What you missed while setting New Orleans on fire... • NBA: For some reason the New Orleans Hornet attempted to jump through a ring of fire in between the first and second quarter. Once they put out the fire the Hornets couldn't be stopped. • Boxing: Oscar de la Hoya dispatched of Stevie Forbes with...

Media Approval Ratings: Dan Le Batard
Dan Le Batard still writes columns occasionally. You might miss them, but they're out there. But mostly, yeah, he's a TV and radio guy. Who sometimes wears funny hats....

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend
Everybody has a favorite sports urban legend. Some like the Rafael Palmeiro Sleeps With Ryne Sandberg's Wife one. Others are fans of the Kevin Mitchell Cuts The Heads Of Cats one. Our preference has always been the Orioles Canceled A Game Because Cal Ripken Couldn't Play Because He Found Kevin Costn...

Surprisingly, Alcohol May Have Been Involved
If it wasn't for those screens in the outfield at Wrigley, fat drunken Cubs fans would be flopping onto the warning track like tuna on the deck of a Japanese fishing boat. "We caught another one, Lou!" I loved it when they used the gaffe hook to haul him back in....

Alex Smith's Popularity Soaring
Sigh. Oh, The Dirty.com. It's amazing that this crew is getting all of these photos (well, three) of 49ers quarterback Alex Smith sent to them. What did Alex Smith ever do to anybody? Besides, you know, kind of suck?...

About Last Night
What you missed while ghost riding the pony... • NBA: Denver needed a win to stay a game up on the Warriors, but instead they had their asses handed to them by the Jazz. • Boxing: Alfonso Gomez is probably penning a thank you note to last night's ringside doctor. • MLB: Johan Santana can give up hom...

Bilas Vs. Le Batard: Quien Es Mas Macho?
In case you haven't heard it, here's the exchange on Dan Le Batard's radio show between Le Batard and Jay Bilas. It's possible these two don't like each other very much....

Your UCLA-Memphis Live Blog
Finally, the Rumpelstiltskin of the tournament can weave chalk into gold, unless Kevin Love rains full-court chest pass threes all game. John Caliperi and Ben Howland would like to reserve their respective Final Four fortunes of years past. But remember: Larry Brown looms above all. And that's fine...

Stanley Pringle: Jackin' It
You know, it's really annoying when athletes-masturbating-in-libraries stories break in the evening and we have to wait until morning to write about them. If we can't be your leader in library masturbation coverage, we're not sure what our point is....

The NBA Playoff Hunt Continues, Predator Style
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks you should go rent The Predator again. Immediately. Oh, and he also thinks you should read his stuff at Basketbawful. Enjoy! So you cooked up a story and dropped the six of us in the meat grindah! Michael Finley's shooting slump hit a low point l...

Oh, You Are So Totally Grounded
In case you haven't seen this yet, the young Oregon fan giving the double-bird salute from the stands here toward UCLA's Kevin Love got into big trouble when he returned home. It seems that Sports Illustrated ran the photo with its story about rabid college sports fans a couple of weeks ago, and th...

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0
You've scored some well-earned vacation time, and you're booked for a week or two at the finest resort you can find. Time to check in, unpack, and ... order room service? A larger TV? Five-diamond hookers? Well, no; if you're Denver Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall, it's time for a McDonald's ...