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Horny <i>Times</i> Columnist Would Like To Know Who's Down To Fuck
I have not been a regular reader of the Times’s Ross Douthat since the 2016 presidential campaign, and I was not a regular reader of his before that. Unlike David Brooks and Bret Stephens, the other fussy right-wing cheese heaps who pretend to dislike Donald Trump for the Times, I do not have a stan...
MLB Suspends Four Pirates, Three Reds, One Guy Who's Now On A Different Team For Brawl
MLB has announced the fallout for Tuesday night’s brawl during Pirates-Reds: Six players and both managers have been suspended. Pittsburgh relief pitcher Keone Kela “won” with the longest punishment at 10 games, but all the players are appealing theirs....
Here Are All The People Who Complained To The FCC About The St. Louis Blues Saying "Fuck"
When the St. Louis Blues won their first-ever Stanley Cup back in June, they said “fuck”—and all its variations—a lot. Audible to anyone watching on TV at home was “fuckin-a,” “fuck yeah,” “fuckin’ right,” “holy fuck,” and “let’s fuckin’ go” as the team took turns raising the Cup, until NBC finally ...
Report: TNT Will Finally Get Rid Of Those Sloppy <i>Players Only </i>NBA Broadcasts
Bad news for people who believe the events of an NBA basketball game are best accompanied by the inane, runaway chit-chat of Dennis Scott and Kevin McHale: TNT has apparently decided to axe its Players Only broadcasts and presumably will reintroduce competent play-by-play commentators to all future ...
Marco Asensio's Knee Is The Latest Casualty Of Soccer's Money-Grubbing Friendlies
Marco Asensio’s 2019-20 season is over before it began, his torn ACL yet another pointless sacrifice to soccer’s financially motivated preseason schedule....
Report: Dan Le Batard Chose To Stay Off Radio Today After Talks With ESPN President
ESPN personality Dan Le Batard is not hosting his daily radio show this morning, a decision that he reportedly made after having spent the weekend talking to ESPN president Jimmy Pitaro about the network’s policy against talking politics. The reasoning behind Le Batard’s absence was reported by John...
We Regret To Inform You That The Oilers Made A Good Trade
Historically, when the Edmonton Oilers and “one for one” appear in the same sentence, bad things happen. Apocalyptic, hysterical, team-crippling things. Punchlines with years and years of mileage. This isn’t that. Peter Chiarelli is gone, and now, miraculously, so is Milan Lucic. Under just about an...
Report: ESPN Reminds Employees Of Craven No-Politics Policy In Wake Of Dan Le Batard's Criticism Of The Network And Trump
It was only a matter of time before ESPN decided to do something in response to Dan Le Batard very correctly calling the network’s anti-politics stance “cowardly,” after he denounced the “send her back” chants that Trump’s racist supporters decided to hoot and holler on Thursday. Surprisingly, howev...
Dan Le Batard Goes In On President Trump, Rips ESPN's "Cowardly" No-Politics Pivot
Dan Le Batard used a portion of his Thursday show to denounce the scene at Donald Trump’s rally in North Carolina Wednesday, when the racist president stirred the racist crowd into a racist euphoria that featured chants of “send her back” directed at Congresswoman Ilhan Omar. Le Batard called the ch...
Measured By Length Of Suspension, A Reckless Beaning Is Worse Than Trucking A Catcher
Angels pitcher Noé Ramirez was suspended by Major League Baseball for three games for plunking Astros outfielder Jake Marisnick Tuesday night. This is MLB determining that the beaning was intentional and, notably, hitting Ramirez with a longer suspension than the one given to Marisnick for bulldozin...
Jake Marisnick Is Ready For This To Be Over
The Astros played the Angels in Los Angeles last night, marking the first time Houston outfielder Jake Marisnick had to face Angels fans since knocking out Jonathan Lucroy with a brutal home-plate collision. He did not receive a warm reception....
Aspen Ladd Follows Nightmare Weigh-In With Nightmare 16-Second Knockout Loss
UFC fighter Aspen Ladd appeared weak and disoriented and in a fair amount of pain during her Friday weigh-in ahead of UFC Fight Night 155 in Sacramento. Her weekend didn’t improve much from there: Ladd was knocked out just 16 seconds into her bantamweight fight against Germaine de Randamie Saturday...
Aspen Ladd's Weigh-In Was Horrifying
Undefeated women’s bantamweight Aspen Ladd is scheduled to fight Germaine de Randamie at UFC Fight Night 155 Saturday night in Sacramento. The weigh-ins for that event were held Friday morning, and Ladd’s condition was alarming even in the context of the long history of fighters enduring extraordina...
Jake Marisnick Should Probably Be Suspended For This
It’s pretty clear-cut: Houston’s Jake Marisnick was nowhere near the plate, wasn’t even aiming toward the plate, when he obliterated Angels catcher Jonathan Lucroy. Lucroy was hospitalized and Marisnick was correctly called out for a violation of MLB’s home-plate collision rule, and the Angels think...
Bobby Portis Is A Lesson In The Cost Of Doing Business With Bad NBA Teams
A crappy side effect of the NBA’s salary cap is it’s usually better business for your favorite team to have a cheap good player than an expensive one, so you are conditioned to think of cheap contracts for good players as “good” and pricier contracts for comparable players as “bad.” Sticking with th...
The NHL Awards Were Worth It Just For One Burn On The Lightning
I’ve historically not been a fan of the NHL Awards being held after the season, rather than before the playoffs. I don’t care, by this point, who won what—the debates have long since cooled, and the regular season feels like something from the distant past— by now we’re already thinking about the dr...
Mike Conley Traded To Utah Jazz For Some Crud
Remember the decade basketbloggers and analysts spent appending the word “underrated” to every single mention of Mike Conley’s name? Then he signed what was, at the time, the largest contract in NBA history, and everybody stopped calling him “underrated” for a while. Heh, well, about that....
Zach Sanford Barfs All Over Himself During Blues Stanley Cup Victory Parade
The 2019 Stanley Cup champion St. Louis Blues held their victory parade Saturday, celebrating the franchise’s first ever title. As is usually the case with victory parades, this event featured blissed-out sports men consuming inadvisable quantities of alcohol. Some handled it better than others—Bre...
O.J. Simpson Has Logged On
When an unverified Twitter account with the name TheRealOJ32 posted a video of the former, uhh, Bills running back announcing his entrance into the Twitter world, I’ll admit that I wasn’t 100% convinced that it was real. Even when I decided to quickly share it on this site, there was a small part of...
Brett Hull Drunkenly Encourages St. Louis Crowd To Start A "We Went Blues" Chant
The annual tradition of hockey players attempting to stretch the physical limits of their livers continued today in St. Louis with the Blues parading the Stanley Cup throughout the city amongst a raucous fan base. While there were plenty of clips of hockey players drinking the way hockey players ten...