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Dejan Lovren Suspended For Calling Sergio Ramos, Spain Players "Pussies"
According to the Liverpool Echo, UEFA has suspended Croatia and Liverpool defender Dejan Lovren for one international match because of a postgame Instagram Live rant Lovren went on recently in which he bragged about elbowing Sergio Ramos and called the Spain national team “a bunch of pussies.”...

Beefy Baseball Hero Willians Astudillo Unabashedly Admires The Hell Out Of His Handiwork
When last we checked on large lad Willians Astudillo, he was hoofing it from first to home with the crazed eyes and petrified rictus of a man being chased by wolves. It’s cold now, and dark, and the things of summer are but painful memories, but it turns out baseball is being played somewhere, and w...

Jean Lopez, Previously Banned After Multiple Reports of Abusing Taekwondo Athletes, Can Coach Again
Less than a year after the U.S. Center for SafeSport declared that it was banning Jean Lopez from taekwondo for a “decades long pattern of sexual misconduct,” the center has said Lopez can go back to coaching. Today, SafeSport notified Heidi Gilbert and Kay Poe, who had reported to SafeSport that Lo...

Finnish Soccer Player Refuses To Join National Team Camp In Qatar Because Qatar Is Evil
Riku Riski, a forward who plays for HJK Helsinki and the Finland national team, recently turned down an invitation to a national team training camp held in Qatar. Today, Finnish paper the Helsingin Sanomat reports that Riski rejected the call-up due to ethical concerns with the infamously human righ...

Giannis Antetokounmpo Buried Jon Leuer With The Dunk Of The Year
Giannis Antetokounmpo’s primary offensive strategy is to run at the rim as rapidly as possible and then use his condor arms to get the ball as close to the hoop as he can before just kind of depositing it into the rim. Sometimes he doesn’t even need to move to cram it home, because he’s got arms lik...

For Better And Worse, Marvin Lewis <i>Was</i> The Bengals
Do you even remember the Bengals before Marvin Lewis? The Dave Shula–Bruce Coslet–Dick LeBeau trilogy of sadness? It is no overstatement to say that Lewis led this franchise to its golden age in the Mike Brown era, nor that Lewis was this franchise for a generation ... nor that what Lewis and this f...

Kerfuffle Erupts Between Thunder And Bitter, Tightly-Wound Bulls
The sad, demoralized Bulls are having their asses handed to them in Oklahoma City tonight. Perhaps the familiarity of another grim drubbing was more than they could bear—in the third quarter, down 21 points, they picked several fights all at once:...

The Worst Couple In Media Is Writing A Book
If you haven’t heard, white-supremacist whisperer Olivia Nuzzi and guy who was fired from the New Yorker after a sexual misconduct investigation Ryan Lizza are a couple. Congrats to the sex-havers. While I’d usually try to avoid thinking about a woman my age being with a guy who is old enough to be ...

Arbitrator Lifts Ban On Taekwondo Star Steven Lopez After Woman Who Accused Him Of Sexual Abuse Declines To Testify
Three-time Olympic taekwondo medalist Steven Lopez, whom the U.S. Center for SafeSport declared permanently ineligible because of “sexual misconduct involving a minor” in September, has been reinstated following an arbitration hearing, reports USA Today....

Raiders Fire GM Reggie McKenzie, Ideally Giving Jon Gruden Unlimited Power
Well, well, well. Raiders head coach Jon Gruden has two things to celebrate today. Not only did his team win Sunday after the Steelers cratered their pants, but today Oakland fired general manager Reggie McKenzie after almost seven seasons, creating an opportunity for Grudes to gain even more power....

Seahawks Recreate Iverson NBA Finals Stepover For Touchdown Celebration
It took a while for Tyler Lockett to get his eighth touchdown of the year. The refs initially ruled the Seahawks WR just short of the goal line, but Pete Carroll challenged the call and it was overturned to a touchdown. ...

The Shifting Equations That Decide Who Lives And Dies In War
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....

Mike Francesa Offers Touching Words On Stan Lee's Passing: "Oh, Who Cares?"
It’s probably too much to ask Mike Francesa to be compassionate on the air, or to admit that he should have known something he didn’t know. But come on, Mike, the guy just died! The least you could do is muster up something better than, “Who cares?”...

Milan Lucic Gets Off With $10,000 Fine For Attacking Mathieu Joseph<em></em>
Edmonton Oilers bruiser Milan Lucic got hit with a $10,000 fine but no suspension by the NHL this afternoon, a day after he went after Lightning rookie Mathieu Joseph in the final period of a 5-2 Edmonton loss. With about 10 minutes remaining and the Oilers already down three, the veteran stalked th...

Trump's New Attorney General Has A Wealth Of Sports Takes
Jeff Sessions resigned today as Attorney General of the United States at the request of Donald Trump. The Lilliputian bigot, a former Alabama Senator better known as The Keebler Elf But Racist, will be replaced for now by chief of staff at the Justice Department Matt Whitaker, a hulking bald Iowan w...

Markelle Fultz Shooting Form Update: Shoulder Still Crab Meat?
The Sixers could sure use some shooting. In Sunday’s jarringly one-sided loss to the Brooklyn Nets, Sixers starters combined to produce zero made three-pointers on just six total attempts. On the season, Philadelphia’s starting lineup has attempted just 18 total three-pointers in 53 minutes of cour...

Former Cavs Assistant Jim Boylan Files Age Discrimination Lawsuit
Former Cleveland Cavaliers assistant coach Jim Boylan, who had been with the team from 2013 until this past offseason, filed a lawsuit in Cuyahoga County court today alleging age discrimination against his former team....

On Subletting Headspace At No Cost
The language that Joel Embiid uses can be taken as an ice core sample of the language the internet is using at any given time. The Sixers center is one of the NBA’s savviest disciples of the Do-It-For-The-‘Gram ethos, a skilled user of meme and timely dialect, always hitting the right notes to Maxi...

Patrik Laine Came Home And Scored A Hat Trick
Winnipeg Jets wonderkid Patrik Laine has had a bit of a slow start to his third NHL season, earning just five points in his first 12 games and going scoreless in his last five. But a return to his home country of Finland, for a game this afternoon against the Panthers, seems to have jump-started the...

Life Must Go On During A Military Occupation
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....