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Ramon Laureano Threw The Shit Out Of This Baseball
Ramon Laureano has played a total of five games in the majors, all this season, all since the start of August. It’s been a fun start! He’s already had a number of defensive highlights, and his first hit in the bigs was a walk-off game-winner in extras, in his first career game....

Meet The Reddit User Who Keeps Beating Powerful NBA Reporters To Scoops
On July 24, NBA scoopmaster Adrian Wojnarowski tweeted that Kevin Love had signed an extension with the Cleveland Cavaliers. As is often the case, Wojnarowski was the first person on Twitter to report the news. But in the wider realm of the NBA internet, Wojnarowski’s tweet was stale. The week befor...

Report: Former All-Star Pitcher Esteban Loaiza Expected To Plead Guilty In Felony Drug Case
Former MLB All-Star pitcher Esteban Loaiza is expected to change his plea from not guilty to guilty in a felony cocaine distribution case, per a report from ABC7 Chicago:...

A's Rookie Produces Walk-Off Win With First Career Hit In First Career Game
This is the kind of thing that happens for a team having one of those magical runs: the two huge clutch plays that delivered a 1-0 A’s win in extras Friday night were made by a rookie, making his first career appearance in the majors, and his first career knock was a walk-off game-winner. Break up t...

Our Night-Blind President
There are different degrees of being on vacation. There are the ones that involve unplugging all the way—smash your dumbass phone with a large flat rock, shred your passport, move to the woods for like six days, then come home and I guess shop for a new phone. There are the moderate, heavily hedged ...

Brian Christopher Deserved So Much Better
In the 1980s, when cable television changed the pro wrestling landscape and push truly came to shove in the industry, only one regional promotion survived in anything close to its original form. That was the Tennessee-based USWA, owned by Jerry Jarrett and his longtime top star, Jerry Lawler. With a...

When War Leaves Behind The Sick And Wounded, These Are The Laws That Save Them
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....

Dez Bryant Is Going Off On The Cowboys And Sean Lee
How are you spending your Friday evening? Free agent wide receiver Dez Bryant is spending his ripping the Cowboys—most notably shithead VP Stephen Jones, linebacker Sean Lee, and offensive tackle Travis Frederick—to shreds....

The Cavaliers Are Kevin Love's Team Now
With the Cavaliers’ title hopes whisked away by the hand of LeBron James, the Cavs were presented with an easy opportunity to clear the roster and start over. That would have started with them trading Kevin Love, the last remaining star on the team, who had one year left on his deal. But trade desti...

How I Became A Wizard, By Dwight Howard, Age 7
Last year, the Washington Wizards underperformed both out of sheer ingrained habit and because some of the most important people on the team just absolutely fucking hated some of the other most important people on the team. On Monday, the team introduced Dwight Howard, the veteran big man that the t...

Ryan Lochte Suspended A Year Over Incredible Instagram Self-Own
The United States Anti-Doping Agency announced this morning that jolly bro airhead Ryan Lochte would be suspended for 14 months for “his use of a prohibited method.” As the language of USADA’s release hints at, Lochte’s is not a normal doping violation, which is not surprising since Lochte is not a ...

The Line Between Combatants And Civilians Has Never Been So Thin
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....

Two Umpires Suspended After Teaming Up To Make Worst Call In History
A Mexican League game between the Diablos Rojos del México and the Algodoneros de Union Laguna on July 18 produced one of the most shocking umpiring errors in the history of the game. In the top of the first inning, umpires Ulises Domínguez Solís and Rodolfo Pastrana Tejeda somehow both determined t...

Astros Get A Walk-Off Win On Probably The Weirdest Play You Can Imagine
Alex Bregman drove in a run from second on a ball that traveled maybe five feet from home plate, and the Astros walked it off against the A’s on Tuesday night thanks to one of the dumbest and most random game-ending plays you will ever see....

Shohei Ohtani Hit A Game-Winning Homer With A Busted Elbow And Knee
Shohei Ohtani hit the ball far as fuck yesterday, 443 feet to be exact, deep into the ethers of Angel Stadium’s cavernous rock structure in center field. The looping drive was his first homer since May 17, on account of the Grade 2 UCL sprain that kept him out of the lineup from June 4 to July 3. It...

Three Adventure Vloggers Die After Attempted Waterfall Rescue Goes Wrong
Megan Scraper, Ryker Gamble, and Alexey Lyakh were enjoying an afternoon with friends Tuesday at Shannon Falls, near Squamish, British Columbia, when Scraper slipped and fell into the water. Witnesses who spoke to CBC say that Gamble and Lyakh jumped in to try and save her, but all three were swept ...

Hunter S. Thompson Told Jim Irsay To Draft Ryan Leaf Over Peyton Manning
Hunter S. Thompson predicted, in the most general sense, the coming of Donald Trump, or at least the flourishing of the reactionary, retaliatory, mutually-assured-destructive base that put him and his ilk into power. (He also noted, as early as anyone, that the American experiment had peaked and per...

The Fight For Peace Has Never Been Easy
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....

Getty Images Apologizes For Getting Horny Over World Cup Fans
The World Cup is a time to feel great pride for your country, to find an excuse to drink before noon, and to appreciate the athletic feats of some of the finest athletes on the planet. If you work at Getty Images, it is also a time to scope out hot babes in the stands and get all horned up....

Report: Hanley Ramirez Is Not Connected To Fentanyl Trafficking Ring; Some Asshole Just Tried To Name-Drop Him<em></em>
After reports on Friday stated that former Red Sox infielder and current free agent Hanley Ramirez was “being eyed in connection with an ongoing federal and state investigation” that involved distribution of the opioid fentanyl, a new report from the Boston Globe says that Ramirez is not being linke...