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John Elway And The Broncos Admit Defeat On First-Round Pick Paxton Lynch
Broncos GM John Elway’s reputation for assessing quarterback talent took another hit today when the team announced that they were cutting Paxton Lynch from their 53-man roster to make room for Kevin Hogan. Denver took Lynch in the first round of the 2016 NFL Draft with the 26th overall pick....

Prisoners Of War Can't Be Treated Like Most Prisoners<em></em>
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....

Alleged Thief Crashes Stolen Truck Full Of Paint, Ends Up Covered In Paint
Workers closed a lane on the 100 block of South Queen Street in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, yesterday morning. They could not have possibly predicted what would end up happening as a result....

Paul Pierce Opens Up About Struggles After Stabbing: "I Was A Mess”
Today over on ESPN, Jackie MacMullan has the first of what promises to be a multi-part series on mental health in the NBA. While it’s mostly a profile of Kevin Love, who shared his experiences with panic attacks earlier this year, it also features insights from Paul Pierce and Chris Bosh on their ow...

If VAR Is Good For One Thing, It's Embarrassing Gloating Fans
Few things in life are as satisfying as stunting in the face of an opposing fan after your team does something good. One of the only things that is better is when an opposing fan preens in your face prematurely and you get to return the favor. This is why the following interactions from this weekend...

Taekwondo Coach Reinstated By SafeSport Following Brief Ban Over "Decades Long Pattern Of Sexual Misconduct"
Jean Lopez—the former U.S. taekwondo coach who was banned in April 2018 following a report from SafeSport that described “a decades long pattern of sexual misconduct by an older athlete/coach abusing his power to groom, manipulate and, ultimately, sexually abuse younger female athletes”—will be rein...

Soccer Fan Takes A Ball To The Dome And Handles It Like A Champ
I don’t know about you but if my unsuspected skull had just gotten blown the hell up by a flying soccer ball, I wouldn’t have reacted with half the poise and grace as this lady did:...

Oh, Good, Now The Sports Media Is Slurping Up Elon Musk's Bullshit
Go to any sports website today and you are likely to see a headline about Tesla founder Elon Musk’s brilliant new plan to alleviate traffic before and after Los Angeles Dodgers games. ESPN: “Elon Musk’s tunnel company aims to reduce Dodger Stadium traffic with ‘Dugout Loop.’” Sports Illustrated: “El...

Ramon Laureano Threw The Shit Out Of This Baseball
Ramon Laureano has played a total of five games in the majors, all this season, all since the start of August. It’s been a fun start! He’s already had a number of defensive highlights, and his first hit in the bigs was a walk-off game-winner in extras, in his first career game....

Meet The Reddit User Who Keeps Beating Powerful NBA Reporters To Scoops
On July 24, NBA scoopmaster Adrian Wojnarowski tweeted that Kevin Love had signed an extension with the Cleveland Cavaliers. As is often the case, Wojnarowski was the first person on Twitter to report the news. But in the wider realm of the NBA internet, Wojnarowski’s tweet was stale. The week befor...

Report: Former All-Star Pitcher Esteban Loaiza Expected To Plead Guilty In Felony Drug Case
Former MLB All-Star pitcher Esteban Loaiza is expected to change his plea from not guilty to guilty in a felony cocaine distribution case, per a report from ABC7 Chicago:...

A's Rookie Produces Walk-Off Win With First Career Hit In First Career Game
This is the kind of thing that happens for a team having one of those magical runs: the two huge clutch plays that delivered a 1-0 A’s win in extras Friday night were made by a rookie, making his first career appearance in the majors, and his first career knock was a walk-off game-winner. Break up t...

Our Night-Blind President
There are different degrees of being on vacation. There are the ones that involve unplugging all the way—smash your dumbass phone with a large flat rock, shred your passport, move to the woods for like six days, then come home and I guess shop for a new phone. There are the moderate, heavily hedged ...

Brian Christopher Deserved So Much Better
In the 1980s, when cable television changed the pro wrestling landscape and push truly came to shove in the industry, only one regional promotion survived in anything close to its original form. That was the Tennessee-based USWA, owned by Jerry Jarrett and his longtime top star, Jerry Lawler. With a...

When War Leaves Behind The Sick And Wounded, These Are The Laws That Save Them
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....

Dez Bryant Is Going Off On The Cowboys And Sean Lee
How are you spending your Friday evening? Free agent wide receiver Dez Bryant is spending his ripping the Cowboys—most notably shithead VP Stephen Jones, linebacker Sean Lee, and offensive tackle Travis Frederick—to shreds....

The Cavaliers Are Kevin Love's Team Now
With the Cavaliers’ title hopes whisked away by the hand of LeBron James, the Cavs were presented with an easy opportunity to clear the roster and start over. That would have started with them trading Kevin Love, the last remaining star on the team, who had one year left on his deal. But trade desti...

How I Became A Wizard, By Dwight Howard, Age 7
Last year, the Washington Wizards underperformed both out of sheer ingrained habit and because some of the most important people on the team just absolutely fucking hated some of the other most important people on the team. On Monday, the team introduced Dwight Howard, the veteran big man that the t...

Ryan Lochte Suspended A Year Over Incredible Instagram Self-Own
The United States Anti-Doping Agency announced this morning that jolly bro airhead Ryan Lochte would be suspended for 14 months for “his use of a prohibited method.” As the language of USADA’s release hints at, Lochte’s is not a normal doping violation, which is not surprising since Lochte is not a ...
