notre Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Notre Dame Golfer DQ'ed For Pulling Scores Out Of Her Ass
Annie Brophy was booted from this weekend's NCAA Regional for giving herself a 30 on the front nine, even though she didn't shoot anywhere near that. Somewhere, Hootie Johnson is tenting his fingers and cackling. [Golfweek]...

10 More Songs Notre Dame Could Have Used For Promotional Purposes
Remember that awful Notre Dame promotional video we wrote about yesterday? Well, it only seemed awful because everyone interpreted it wrong. Actually, it was kind of brilliant. My pal Nate Freeman, who knows nothing about sports, is here to explain....

Now Here's A Reds Funk Song To Make Their Fan Base Recoil In Shame
Readers Seth & Jen watched that wonderful Notre Dame promo and thought they recognized those Midwestern-sports-funk stylings from the video you see here, a celebration of Reds fandom....

Touchdown Jesus Wept: Notre Dame's Promo Video Is Funky, Awful
Notre Dame, a small Bible school with one of sports' more offensive nicknames, has decided to promote its athletic program by channeling Parliament-Funkadelic. The echoes just woke up and would like Notre Dame to please keep that awful racket down. [MSF]...

Is Notre Dame Basketball Coach Mike Brey Illicitly Humping This TV News Lady?
Even if he is, Notre Dame media relations person Bernadette Cafarelli told us over the phone that "Mike Brey is the men's basketball coach at Notre Dame." (Her inflection suggested a "PERIOD!" so I'll add that.) Onto the smutty rumor-grinder....

Royalists Take On The Irish: Old Dominion-Notre Dame Open Thread
Can the Irish continue their recent strong play? Can the Monarchs kickstart a Sweet 16 run? Throw your comments down (be)low....

It's Like <em>Get On The Bus</em>, Only A Lot Whiter
Due to Apocalypse-force storms in the Northeast, Notre Dame took an 18-hour bus ride back to South Bend after being bounced from the Big East tourney. Worst National Lampoon's Vacation movie ever. [WNDU]...

Nerds, Catholics And State Schools Vie For Meaningless Honorific
Here's a pretty fascinating look at which programs can lay claim to being the "winningest" of all time. Rich Rodriguez has a good shot at literally ruining UM's legacy. [Detroit Free Press]...

Beadle Distressed By Inflatable Dong Tongue; Cowherd, Not So Much
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Fighting Irish Fighting About Kelly's Irishness
A religious magazine is questioning whether Brian Kelly is Catholic enough to lead Notre Dame, noting his association with pro-choice politicians. But football's football. If Kelly makes a BCS Bowl, even Jesus might let this abortion thing slide. [Irish Central]...

Unfortunately, I Was There
There are plenty of decade retrospectives happening everywhere right now, but we'd also like you to participate. Tell us about the best game you've seen in person this decade with the tag #iwasthere. Mine: Duke-Notre Dame , 2007. Hear me out....

Bearcats Bid Un-Emotional Goodbye to Brian Kelly
Brian Kelly said farewell to his Cincinnati charges last night and many responded by kindly asking their ex-coach to mind both the door and the area where the Good Lord split him as he makes his way through it....

Notre Dame Gets Its Angry, Egotistical Man
The South Bend Tribune is reporting that after an earlier feint toward UConn, Notre Dame has made its decision and Cincinnati's Brian Kelly will take the reigns in South Bend. But is he a big enough jerk?...

Jimmy Clausen Will Take His Swagger And Tiny Bathing Suits To The NFL
The Jimmy tells ESPN.com that "it's time" and he's taking Charlie Weis' sage advice: "He thought I've improved so much since I came to Notre Dame. So, I'm taking his advice, and I'm going to head out." [ESPN][Pic:Collegegameballs.com]...

Notre Dame To Announce Rehab Stint, Impending Pregnancy To TMZ
White smoke in South Bend!...

SEC Championship Game To Proceed Without Distractions
Thousands of hours of airtime. Millions of keystrokes. Finally, we can stop obsessing over the Most Important College Football Issue of Our Time: Notre Dame will not sully the airwaves this bowl season....

Brian Kelly Will Coach The Fighting Irish, According To Writing Irish
In the most Irish piece of breaking news ever, a man named Sean O'Shea at something called IrishCentral.com is reporting that Cincinnati's Brian Kelly will indeed be the new coach of Notre Dame. [IrishCentral.com]...

Charlie Weis: Done
No official word from the university yet, but the New York Daily News is the first to report that Charlie Weis has been fired by Notre Dame....

Cold-Cocked Clausen Coddled By QB Coaches
A couple of minor updates to the Clausen Affair. He's wearing a black visor (usually not allowed at Notre Dame) during practice and the AD says, "He just got coldcocked by somebody, and we're very disturbed by that." [ESPN]...

The Jimmy Clausen Fight: Alternative Histories
The internet has graciously offered up several different explanations of what really happened at CJ's Pub last Saturday night. At this point, they are all equally plausible/ludicrous, but we present these unvarnished tales so that you might pass impartial judgment....