notre Page 20 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Solicit Like A Champion
We know that Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis is infinitely more popular than Tyrone Willingham ever was (even though they have pretty much the same record at the university). But it's possible he was paying too much attention to his gastric bypass surgery than his players' well-being, because one of t...
Charlie Weis, Unsuccessful In Obese Litigation
Say what you will about Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis, but you can't say he isn't constantly charging forward. Whether it's recruiting, attacking a Cover 2 or, you know, gastric bypass surgery, the guy makes up his mind and just GOES FOR IT, MAN. Suck Off The Fat Like A Champion. Unfortunately, such...
Who Will Be the Next Sports Figure To Get Gastric Bypass Surgery?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Elijah Dukes Continues To Bat 1.000
If you're a social worker who is considering a foster care applicaton, how could you not approve the couple who is related to Elijah Dukes? A 17-year-old girl who is in foster care with a relative of Dukes told the Tampa police that Dukes got her pregnant. The article goes on to say that Dukes will ...
NCAA Pants Party: Notre Dame Vs. Winthrop
Notre Dame Fighting Irish (24-7) vs. Winthrop Eagles (28-4) When: Friday, 2:35 p.m. Where: Spokane...
Notre Dame Fighting Irish
1. The benefits of weed. When the Irish's starting point guard Kyle McAlarney was indefinitely suspended for having pot in the front seat of his car in late December, freshman guard Tory Jackson was immediately thrust into the starting spot. Although he still lacks K-Mac's consistency from behind bo...
No, Really, Your Testimony Was Quite Pleasant
Sorry, all you CourtTV legal eagles desperate for a fixin' of Charlie Weis gastric bypass surgery malpractice goodness: The whole rigmarole has been declared a mistrial....
Charlie Weis Hates Internal Bleeding Much More Than He Hates Donuts
In case you've fallen behind on your coverage of failed gastric bypass surgery involving major college football coaches, Notre Dame head whale Charlie Weis is in Day One of his negligence trial in which doctors ignored internal bleeding warning signs. Weis underwent the surgery in 2002 because he wa...
Tiger Mauls Helpless Leprechaun As Charlie Weis Looks On And Does Nothing
We are happy to report that the Sugar Bowl was one of several games available on iTunes this year, so we hope all of you Notre Dame fans took advantage of that. Just the thing to view over and over again during church. After LSU's 41-14 win Wednesday night — the Irish's ninth straight bowl defeat ...
Sugar Bowl: Talk Amongst Yourselves
In case you've forgotten, the Nokia Sugar Bowl is this evening as Charlie Weis and his group of underachieving Irishmen take on those ESPN fictional national champions, the LSU Tigers. Notre Dame is getting 8.5 points tonight and I've got a funny feeling that's a number that you must pounce on. (F...
Taking Down The Field Goal Posts: Fight On To Glendale
• USC 44, Notre Dame 24. I hate to be the one to point it out, but twice, Notre Dame has played Top 10 teams, and twice, they have lost by 20 or more. Obviously, this will not stop a BCS bowl game from happily taking them (supposedly, the Sugar Bowl is in love with the Irish), so there's not really ...
Notre Dame Has A Vague Recollection Of Playing A Good Football Team
The last time Notre Dame played a team that's currently ranked in the Top 25, they lost by nearly four touchdowns. Since then, despite feasting on teams like Stanford, North Carolina, Air Force and Army, they've got themselves back into the national championship picture. On the outside, about-to-be-...
Brady Quinn, Friend To The Gays, Or Just Idol?
In the newest issue of Interview magazine, Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn, handsome man of leisure, spreads 'em and smiles big in a big photo feature. Brady looks all playful and chiseled and Notre Dame-y, we guess. You might notice, when you look at the pictures, that Brady is shot rather, oh, ...
Bored Cadets Remake "Rudy"
From the invaluable and irreplaceable Every Day Should Be Saturday comes this video, made by cadets at the Naval Academy to pump up their team — we guess — for the game against Notre Dame on Saturday. We're really not sure what we can do with this; should we, like, send them a Penthouse or something...
How Freddie Spent His Weekend
In case you were wondering what former Philadelphia Eagles shitball Freddie Mitchell is up to ... he's out taunting fans at UCLA games from the stands! Hey, sure beats playing; we understand, Freddie....
Pucker, Pucker, Pucker
When I first downloaded this clip and started to listen to it, I saw that it was over 15 minutes long, and I thought, "Eh, it's probably not worth it." And for a couple of minutes, it wasn't. And then this guy Michigan State radio guy begins the slow rapid descent into madness....
Find Strength Through "Pre-Milk!"
Because we feel like part of our job is to inform you, the blog reader, about all the different ways to artificially maximize your body's potential, we introduce you to the newest big thing in performance enhancement: cow afterbirth!...
Nothing Says "Sloth" Like A Long College Football Saturday
As has been established, tomorrow is a day for much gluttony/sloth/greed/skinny ladies' head in the box: seven pretty outstanding college football games. And no, we're not referring to Syracuse-Illinois. We are actually offended that the game is on television....
Taking One ... "Yeoooowwww, Kelly Clarkson!" ... For the Team
What with the price of gas and all, there apparently isn't a lot to do over at the Basney Honda in South Bend, Ind. So co-workers told Jason Gordon that they would chip in and get him two tickets to the Notre Dame-Michigan game, and all Gordon had to do to earn them was get a full body wax. Irish fa...
"This Is The Parts Where They Say Who They Thinks Gonna Win"
In his nightmares, this is what Chris Fowler imagines every viewer of College GameDay is like....