olds Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's one franchise QB, how much could it cost? $10?
Sports has reached a level of spending that makes Joe Burrow’s record contract look cute. The Cincinnati Bengal quarterback’s $275 million deal is laughable if it wasn’t all too real. English Premier League clubs spent $2.97 billion in the most recent transfer window. Tiger Woods was reportedly offe...
Enjoy Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney before reality comes for Wrexham
The main reason Ted Lasso should call it a series is because every run comes to an end; players age, rosters get turned over, and somebody ends up being the bad guy. The show was so averse to conflict that its most compelling heel turn was retconned almost immediately in order to avoid any ambiguity...
Long live student journalism
I spent two college summers delivering Edy’s Ice Cream to Jewels, Moo & Oinks, and 7 Eleven’s throughout the Chicagoland area. The summer after my junior year I interned for NBA.com and thought I was hot stuff with a feature I wrote on Josh Smith’s basketball camp. Nicole Markus, Alyce Brown, Cole R...
The St. Louis Browns lose in the funnerest way possible
Hey-ho! AI Sam Fels is here to give you your usual Morning Aftre!...
Nikola Jokić made a mockery of Heat culture
Imagine being Pat Riley, Jimmy Butler, and the Miami Heat’s training staff right now. They spent two decades preaching the advantages of elite fitness, conditioning, and mining for diamonds in the rough. Every season, Miami mandates that its players maintain a body fat percentage low enough to go wa...
Don’t worry folks, the St. Louis Cardinals still suck
We’ll get the “motherfuck” possibilities out of the way at the top, and perhaps immediately speaking to them will hold them off for a little while longer. But they will happen. 1. The NL Central is complete clown-shoes, and no matter how bad the St. Louis Cardinals play they’ll never be out of it. 2...
The past, present and future of Ted Lasso
The landing was stuck. Many storylines came to a close in the Ted Lasso season-three finale, with the main timeline of the show likely over based on the perfection that was the closing montage. There’s no way we’ve seen the last of all of these characters, whether a spinoff called “AFC Richmond” or ...
DeAndre Hopkins' Instagram story fuels rumors of where he'll sign
After a few months of speculation and trade rumors, the Arizona Cardinals decided to cut WR DeAndre Hopkins. According to Sports Illustrated, only the Buffalo Bills and Kansas City Chiefs engaged in “substantive” trade talks with the Cards. The reason a trade didn’t go through, per Albert Breer, was...
Jimbo Fisher says he likes to shoot things, glad he doesn't have a gun at practice — excuse me, what?
Jimbo Fisher was all in his feelings last year when Nick Saban accused him of buying a top recruiting class with NIL money at a fundraising event. Fisher raised hell in response. He called Saban a narcissist and also said, “If you lied your old man slapped you on the head. Maybe someone should have ...
Tennessee Titans' draft pick Tyjae Spears is missing an ACL: Report
A running back missing an ACL, that is how a Division I football player can average 7.3 yards per touch, score 21 touchdowns as a senior, and fall to the third round. AAC 2023 Player of the Year Tyjae Spears wasn’t even the first player selected out of his conference. Rashee Rice was drafted with th...
Stop asking Yadier Molina to walk through that door
The St. Louis Cardinals have had a barely held-together beater vibe to them for a while. The only thing keeping the bumper attached is duct tape, two of the four-door handles work/are still attached, the windows are immovable, the muffler rusted off in a dorm parking lot years ago, and of course, th...
The Gang Enters The Soccer Tournament
This is a fever dream for soccer, or a fever nightmare depending on what team you root for. The Soccer Tournament, or TST for short, was announced this week as a 32-team showcase taking place in early June in North Carolina. Based on The Basketball Tournament, it’s a winner-take-all, 7-on-7, $1 mill...
There are cheaper ways to tell us you’re friends with Ryan Reynolds
Everybody’s favorite spinoff to We Bought a Zoo — Famous Person Buys an EPL Team — just got a new character as retired NFL star J.J. Watt and his wife, NWSL player Kealia Watt, announced they’re the proud minority owners of Burnley FC. The Bears are set to return to the Premier League after finishin...
It’s never too early to laugh at the last-place Cardinals
Frustratingly, it doesn’t happen all that often, so when it does you kind of have to eschew the normal protocols of being guarded due to sample-size, and randomness in baseball. When the St. Louis Cardinals are in last place, you simply shoot that fucker right into the vein and kiss the sky. In our ...
America’s darling Wrexham A.F.C. would get creamed in Major League Soccer
There truly hasn’t been a team to carve out their own slice of Americana in quite the way Wrexham A.F.C. has. Three years ago, if you’d heard of Wrexham and you didn’t live in the United Kingdom or have any family lineage in Wales, I’ll brand you a liar. The former-fifth-division side in the UK just...
We said the Pirates would be interesting
Guess who has the second-best record in baseball. No, really, go on. Maybe you watch a ton of baseball and you already know. But if you’ve been distracted by NHL and NBA playoffs, the answer may surprise you. It’s a certain team that a certain charming and handsome writer not so long ago said very w...
The Grizzlies sure are some whiny villains
I wouldn’t have thought giving someone a vanilla nut-tap on national TV and in front of 18,000 was actually a media conspiracy. I’m glad Memphis’ Dillon Brooks taught me better. ...
Stone Cold wrestles with where gimmick ends, Steve Austin begins
He’s synonymous with World Wrestling Entertainment if not all of professional wrestling as one of the most popular performers in the theatrical sports’ history. Stone Cold Steve Austin can still garner a crowd reaction like few ever have with the simple sound of glass shattering to start his entranc...
The Gang Possibly Gets a Promotion
As season one of FX’s Welcome to Wrexham concluded, we saw the Welsh football club narrowly miss out on a promotion to the top four tiers of England’s professional football pyramid. And for those living under a rock, Wrexham is a small United Kingdom team that got that spotlight because they’re owne...