olympics Page 105 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Why Does That Chinese Tattoo Look Like a Bar Code?
We don't want to throw a cold bucket of confetti on the proceedings late tonight, but could it be that all of the perceived new focus by USA Basketball and its players on preparation and presenting a warm face to the public has an awful lot to do with the 1.3 billion consumers the shoe companies (an...

The Thing I Do Can Be Related to Current Events So Look At Me!
Below, you will see what it takes for a man to excrete success. Frosted Flakes Gold is not involved, despite what our television just told us. Click to view ...

Synchronized Swimmer Sinks Slowly; Silly Swimmer!
We've been shopping our script about a narcoleptic synchronized swimmer for years to no avail; it's an uplifting story, but you know how much it costs to make a water-based film. However, we've dusted off the script and sent it to our agent again after hearing that one of the Japanese synchronized s...

Is Jacques Rogge’s IOC Ever Going to Grow A Pair?
The Olympics are in full-swing and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they se...

And This Little Piggy Smashed Your Face In
We've been irritated a time or six by a game official that felt they were as important to the proceedings as the participants themselves. We always had the urge to do something about them to return equilibrium to the event. However, we never got further than drafting a formal complaint and then for...

Argentina Live Up to Their Gold Medal Aspirations
Argentina's men's basketball team may have come up short against the United States, but their heavily favored soccer team laid claim to a gold medal of their own. Angel Di Maria's chip shot past Ambrose Vanzekin was all the Argentines needed to defeat Nigeria in a brilliantly contested Olympic gold...

ESPN Headline Writers Probably Should've Opted For Something Less Chinky
Given all the insensitivity issues that have come up during Olympic basketball, it probably wasn't a good idea for ESPN.com to use "Chink In The Armor?" as their Redeem Team story hed at 4 p.m. today. Well, it's changed now. That's the beauty of online publishing; your sins can be vanquished in an i...

If The Snaggle-Toothed Ping Pong Player's Gettin' Some, Everybody Is
Or so that's the statement from Matthew Syed, whose eye-opening Penthouse forum-style article in the Times of London titled "Sex And The Olympic City" makes it seem virtually impossible for any athlete not to get laid while they spend time in an Olympic village. Syed is a former British table-tennis...

China Daily is Your Go-To Source For Soft-Core Olympic Smut
The Olympics are in full-swing and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they se...

Beard Apology Not Enough For CNN, The World
Amanda Beard apologized on Thursday for her recent comments about Michael Phelps, but not before she was raked over the coals by a crack panel of highly-respected journalists on CNN. OK, actually they're three D-list characters I'd never heard of. But it was CNN, which promises to get back to that w...

Nothing To See Here, Please Disperse...Or Is There?
Still spooked by the scary ramifications of uncovering an embarrassing scandal, the IOC said it had officially completed its age investigation of the Chinese gymnastics team. The verdict: totally legit. ...

Tiki Barber, The C Word, And You
My favorite Tiki Barber moment will always be that time he appeared on the Discovery Channel game show Cash Cab. When asked what Steinbeck novel included a character named Tom Joad, Tiki answered, "Lonesome Dove." Your favorite moment may vary. Perhaps it was Tiki criticizing Michael Strahan's holdo...

Those Redeem Team Players Just Can't Help Being So Damned Charming
This smartly dressed-looking woman is named Stephanie Stricklen, a reporter for KGW Northwest News 8 in Portland, Oregon. For the past couple weeks, she's been assigned to traipse around Beijing and add a friendly, familiar face to her station's Olympic coverage. And just like track star Kara Gouche...

IOC Finally Launches Investigation Into Chinese Gymnasts Thanks To "Stryde Hax"
It appears the U.S. women's gymnastics team may actually get their coveted gold medals if an IOC investigation into the ages of the Chinese gymnastics team proves the little demons weren't all 16 years of age. After initially dodging all the questions, the findings of one U.S.-based blogger named St...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you move your boogie body ... shake it sugar do it to it! ... • Little League Baseball: World Series in South Williamsport, Pa., USA semifinal, Tampa vs. Lake Charles, La., (8 p.m., ET). These kids just happy to be away from the hurricanes and floods. [ESPN] • NFL: Preseason, San Fr...

China Continues To Seduce Us With Its Quaint, Draconian Charms
Two elderly Chinese women who had applied for a permit to protest at the Olympics have finally had their request reviewed by the Beijing police. The verdict? Of course it's re-education at a labor camp for both. Thanks for writing in! Also, as I understand it, at their hearing one of the women was r...

May-Treanor, Walsh Grab Gold, China Grabs Something Else
She's already got Dubya's handprints all over her ass, so Kerri Walsh hardly notices this, one would assume. Walsh and Misty May-Treanor brought home the gold for the good ol' USA once again, beating the People's Republic of Cop-A-Feel 2-0 (21-18, 21-18) early Thursday morning in Women's Parking Lot...

How Will 8 Gold Medals Help Michael Phelps' Prodigious Coozing?
Throughout the Olympics, there have been many variations on the email like the one below regarding America's trophy-headed swim king, Michael Phelps: "went to michigan the same time as michael phelps and stories of his douchiness towards girls seem to pop up with any mention of his name. apparently ...

No White Person Has Ever Broken 10 Seconds in the 100 Meters
I thought 2008 would be our year. I really did. After all, if a black man can be elected President (hopefully), then a white person could break 10 seconds, right? But the 100 meters came and went and once more the fastest white man in the history of the universe remains some guy named Marian Woroni...

Usain Bolt Is The Fastest Man Alive. Your Move, Lindsay Lohan
So is there room in the same Olympics for both the best swimmer and best sprinter of all time? Jamaica's Usain Bolt showed what he can do when he decides to run the entire distance, grabbing his his second world record and his second Olympic gold medal, winning the 200-meters in 19.30 seconds to bre...