olympics Page 112 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Discontinued Olympic Sports
As we head towards the homestretch of the potential disaster that is the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, sometimes it's illustrative to look back at what used to be. (Cue Boyz II Men). Wipe away tears. Yep, discontinued Olympic events, they used to have an underwater/holding your breath contest. Those wer...
The Great Proletarian Cultural Sneaker Revolution Has Begun
Still entertaining the notion that the U.S. may boycott the Beijing Olympics? Silly idealist. Take a look at these Adidas commercials which will begin airing in the Chinese market next month to coincide with the beginning of the Games. There's nothing like a little Marxist-Leninist-Maoist dogma mixe...
Olympic Criminals Are No Match For The Chinese Scooter Police
You may think that you're a clever subversive, plotting to wreak mayhem at the Olympic Games. But you didn't count on the Glorious People's Scooter Police. Hands up, terrorist dogs! Hey, no fair fleeing over that slightly uneven terrain! Come back here!...
At Last, An Olympic Mascot We Can All Relate To
If you're tired of stories about earthquakes and censorship and brutal beatdowns of Tibetan monks, then forget about the Beijing Olympics for a moment, and remember that plans are already underway for the 2012 Games in London. Things will be decidedly more upbeat in these Olympics, to be sure; as we...
The Best Bronze Medal Money Can Buy?
The U.S. Olympic basketball roster was announced on Monday, and looking it over I think that we've finally engineered a lineup that can beat Angora. USA! USA! Getting by Argentina and Lithuania may be more problematic. Anyway, you've got your Kobe Bryant, your LeBron James, your Dwyane Wade, your Ca...
After The Quake: Penetrating Strangeness
The Olympics begin in August, and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see...
China Wants To Make Sure Its Citizens Know How To Cheer
From The Financial Times and Sports Business Journal, it appears China is doing everything it can to get its "fans" to act like actual fans at the Olympics. (Which, jeez, is less than two months away now.)...
The Revolution — And Perhaps The Olympics — May Not Be Televised
Bad news: The Olympics party you had planned, where dozens of your friends were going to come over to watch the 110 men's high hurdles on your big-screen tv, may have to be canceled. China is becoming so paranoid over Olympic security that most broadcasters — including NBC — are beginning to worry ...
China Is Several Varieties Of Crazy
Sorry, but your idea of sticking 2008 needles into your head and upper body in honor of the Beijing Olympics has already been done. My question for this guy: How do you sleep? Do you take 'em all out, and then re-stick yourself in the morning? (Not shown: The 2009 needles he applied to his crotch an...
Olympic Torch Relay Update: We're Runnin' In Circles Here!
OK, we have a new leader for the lamest Olympic Torch Relay idea yet: In Jakarta, Indonesia on Tuesday, torch runners did laps inside of a closed stadium in order to avoid protests. Yes, in this genius move, all the Indonesian torch runners took turns running in circles, as a crowd that was hand-pi...
An Update From The Deadspin Beijing Bureau
The Olympics begin in August, and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see...
Jackie Chan Threatens To Chop Protesters, Make 'Rush Hour 4'
Leave it to diminutive Kung Fu dervish Jackie Chan to put this Olympic Torch protest thing into perspective. Chan, who will be a torchbearer when the relay comes to Beijing next week, says that he will deal harshly with any miscreants who might try to grab the flame from his tiny, powerful mitts....
Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry
Terrorist attack, or old Monty Python sketch? You be the judge: Several members of Australia's Olympic team were enjoying a batch of chocolate muffins at a Brisbane function last week, when some of the treats were found to have been sabotaged with paper clips. According to the Brisbane Times, a "maj...
Celine Dion Will Heal Olympic Rifts With Powerful Vocals
Celine Dion is about ready to choke a bitch if this Olympic boycott talk persists. Dion called on all people to "keep the dream possible for our young kids." She came to Beijing to express support for the Games after her concert in Shanghai on Friday....
Passing The Torch: Buenos Aires, You're Up
The beleaguered Olympic Torch is in Argentina today, where protesters in Buenos Aires say that they will be out in force, but will not try to snuff out the flame (wink, wink). Of course, crossing the Chinese government is one thing; but when you anger the McDonald's Corporation (pictured right), you...
Bang The Gong Slowly; Olympic Torch A No-Show In SF
San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom didn't exactly win friends and influence people on Wednesday when he decided to play an elaborate game of Hide the Salami with the Olympic Torch. The relay's only North American stop was scheduled to be a happy, glorious people's jog from AT&T Park, down the waterfr...
It's Olympic Torch Relay Eve!
I love a good protest as much as the next person, but it seems that the bar has been set impossibly high for my home team, San Francisco. The Olympic Torch Relay makes its only North American appearance here on Wednesday, and because this is San Francisco, the world is expecting a protest on a grand...
Olympic Torch Relay Proceeding Smoothly So Far
The Olympic Torch passed through London and Paris on Sunday and earlier today, and was only snuffed out a few times by protesters: Once with a fire extinguisher. There were near riots and close to a hundred arrests. You know, I'm starting to suspect that some people don't like the Olympic Torch....
I'm Going To The Olympic Torch Relay ... What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
The San Francisco Board of Supervisors recently announced the route that the Olympic Torch will take through The City this coming Tuesday; a waterfront jaunt beginning at AT&T Park's McCovey Cove and ending at Justin Herman Plaza. Since I'm going to be in that neck of the woods anyway, I'm going to ...
The Deer Penis Diaries
Bad news for chronic deer penis ingesters planning on participating in the Beijing Olympics — you'll have to find something else to help you win a gold medal this year. Yes, deer penis and all sorts of other crazy Chinese voodoo medicines have officially been put on the no-no list by the Beijing IOC...