olympics Page 112 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Boy, Is China's Face Red
OK, this is pretty hilarious. During a televised ceremony to launch China's television station for the Bejing Olympics, CCTV-5, famed Chinese broadcaster Zhang Bin was ambushed by his wife, who burst onto the stage and accused him of an affair....
Shaun White's Dopey, Training-Wheels Arrest
We enjoyed the ascension of snowboarder — or whatever it is that he does — Shaun White to American hero after the 2006 Olympics. It seemed like a teenage doof being promoted to sports superstar. We were really just counting the days until a weed arrest....
They've Nailed Down This Cheering Thing In China
The ongoing saga of the Chinese government attempting to train their fans and citizens to act like normal people for next year's Olympics continue to amuse. The newest endeavor: Cheering instructional exercises....
England Will Be Awesome In Unknown Sports
As you sit there comfortably in the basement of your ivory tower, sipping your Red Bull and text messaging your co-workers, our nation's dominance — okay, reallygoodness — is being threatened by the very country who created us and taxed us without representation....
The Winter Olympic Mascots Are ... Yeaagh! What The Hell? ...
Inspired by Native American tales of creatures that will claw children's eyes out if they don't behave, please welcome the new Winter Olympic mascots, Quatchi, Miga and Sumi! The Games are a mere 2 1/2 years from now, so these charming critters need to get right to work, doing, um, whatever it is th...
The Chinese Are Quite Mad, You Know
So this is the country that will supposedly be the world's major superpower in 20 years? I have my doubts, considering that this guy covered himself with Chinese Olympic tattoos and didn't allow for any space for advertising. Oh wait, I think I see an ad for Frank TV. Never mind....
China Is Concerned About Your Hips, Ladies
There's pretty much nothing the Chinese government is doing to prepare for the Olympics next year that isn't entertaining. Here's their next trick: Making sure the hostesses for all the events are freaking hot....
One Year Until The Olympics Begin
The Olympics are starting a year from today. That's gonna be here real fast; heck, before you know it, China will have finally conquered the weather....
He Might Be A Fire Hazard
One of our favorite rituals of the Olympic Games is the selection of the people to carry the Olympic Torch. The best is still O.J. Simpson at the 1984 Summer Games. Bet Peter Ueberroth would have loved to have that one back. It's possible China might have a particularly fun carrier itself....
China Will Not Make It Rain
This had been rumored for a while, but it appears the Chinese government is really going through with this: They're really going to try to control the weather during next year's Olympics using rockets....
Where's Barry Manilow When You Really Need Him?
Attention all aspiring songwriters: Spain needs lyrics for its National Anthem. This is especially important considering the Summer Olympics are coming up, and Spanish athletes want to sing, sing, sing! Their fans are tired of sitting there mute during the medal ceremony as the Swiss are belting out...
London 2012's Lego Mashup
The folks in charge of the 2012 Summer Olympics in London released their logo yesterday and it's ... uh ... a major Tetris disaster? A sketch Picasso made on a bar napkin while drunk? No one seems quite sure....
China Is Totally On Top Of All Olympic Matters
The nagging issues that keep popping up as we approach the 2008 Olympics in Beijing have many observers concerned, though it seems like everyone always worries about whether the Olympic host city will be ready, and it seems to turn out just fine. But there does seem to be a major issue in China: The...
The U.S. Olympic Committee Wonders If You Can Spare Anything
When we think of charitable organizations that desperately need our support, we will confess that the United States Olympic Committee doesn't immediately come to mind, considering we think we remember seeing an ad for the official overnight shipping company of the U.S. Olympic Team. So we can't imag...
Cultural Oddsmaker: What will the Beijing Olympic Committee Suggest Banning Next?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Chicago Vs. Los Angeles, The DEATH MATCH
Tomorrow, the U.S. Olympic Committee will announce which city will be its nominee to host the 2016 Olympics. Right now, there are two favorites: Los Angeles and Chicago. Because the world, you know, hates America and all that, whoever turns out to be the U.S. nominee is not expected to be the favori...
Joe Buck, The Billboard With A Heart
So here's an inventive idea, straight from our Jack Bauer-torturing friends in China: Rather than slapping corporate logos on the players, just slap 'em on the announcers....
But When You Get Down To It, Does Michael Irvin Make Any More Sense?
Only a little more than a year to go before the 2008 Summer Olympics, which should just give the Chinese government enough time to run Beijing through spell check....
Winter Sports, The Full Monty And You
Meet Austrian two-time Olympic bronze medalist Rainer Sch nfelder, shown here shooshing about at a crisp 0.5 degrees Celsius, his privates most likely resembling those of a laboratory mouse. Don't worry girls, it's only shrinkage! See you at the lodge! Thank God the bears are hibernating and didn't ...