olympics Page 98 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Is The London Olympic Logo A Zionist Conspiracy, Or Is It Just Lisa Simpson Giving Bart A Blowjob?
There are two dominant conspiracies behind the London Olympics logo, which, if you ask Iranians and Simpsons enthusiasts, is trying suspiciously hard to be just ugly blocky numbers spelling out the year "2012." The Lisa Simpson and "Zion" theories, as well as a swastika interpretation, emerged whe...
The IOC Was This Close To Owning Santa Claus
Saturday, the Russian Olympic Committee announced the results of voting for the 2014 Olympic mascots. (They picked a snowboarding snow leopard, and a fluffy bunny and cheerful bear. They're boring.) But one of the 10 nominees didn't even make it to voting. Ded Moroz ("Father Frost"), the Russian ver...
Are The Russians Training 17-Day-Old Babies To Be Gymnasts?
Last month, a video emerged of a woman swinging a baby around her head. Mommy blogs around the world erupted in disgust and disbelief, and the general consensus was that it had to be a hoax. Well, it's not....
Nine Chinese Figure Skaters May Not Be The Age China Said They Were
After the 2008 Beijing Olympics, the IOC launched an investigation into the ages of China's women's gymnastics team, because it seemed very possible that a few members were not women at all, but actually pre-adolescent girls. The '08 gymnasts were eventually cleared, but it came out that a '00 Olymp...
Russian Olympic Mascots Aren't Horrifying, Are Confusing
The 11 candidates to be the mascot for the 2014 Sochi games aren't as soul-scarring as the London duo, but...wait, is that a dolphin on skis? Is that...Santa Claus? [via Fourth-Place Medal]...
IOC Keeps Stuffing Its Head Up Its Ass With Doping Policy
When athletes blame failed drug tests on protein supplements, I usually call bullshit. But in this story, U.S. swimmer Jessica Hardy missed the '08 Olympics because of a nutritional supplement, and now, she may also miss the London Games. This is bullshit!...
Well, This is Just Sad In Every Way: Tommie Smith To Sell His Gold Medal
Forty-two years ago, Smith set a world record in the 200 meters. On the podium, he and John Carlos raised their fists, in what would become an enduring symbol of the Olympics and the Civil Rights movement. Everything has a price....
Do You Believe In Owning A Sad, Bedridden Ex-Hockey Player's Cherished Keepsake? Yes!
A gold medal that once belonged to Mark Wells, the last player selected for the 1980 "Miracle on Ice" hockey team, now laid low by a genetic disease of the spinal cord, is going up for auction. [Puck Daddy]...
Stories That Don't Suck: USA Basketball's 12 Angry Men
From time to time, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: The 1972 Olympic team, still bitter about losing to the Soviets....
Former Aspiring Olympian Files Sex-Abuse Suit Against US Swimming, Coach
The USA Swimming sex scandal deepens, what with former Olympic hopeful Jancy Thompson talking to ABC News about filing a sexual-misconduct lawsuit. It includes accusations of being forced to wear a dog collar....
Who Is The Medal-Winning Olympian Turned Boozehound Law School Attendee?
We have your newest case here. It concerns a woman that won a medal at the 2008 Olympics. She's spent this summer boozing and shmoozing as a summer associate at Milbank Tweed. You must find her....
London Olympic Mascot Photoshop Contest: <em>Fin</em>.
A hundred entries later, and we have a winner. Congratulations Ryan, you win Doug Glanville's book. To the rest of you, you never cease to amaze us. And keep those submissions coming; we'll continue to add them to the gallery....
A Roundup Of London Olympic Mascot Photoshop Fun (UPDATES!)
You people are clearly talented, and clearly bored. Our contest will continue through tomorrow, and we'll keep adding new submissions until then, but here's a look at the early competition. (UPDATE: We have a winner!)...
London Olympic Mascots Are Revealed, Monstrous
Wenlock and Mandeville, their cyclopean eyes representing England's Big Brother police state, were unveiled today. You might as well just sacrifice your firstborn now and get it over with. [Telegraph]...
China Stripped Of Medal For Underage Gymnast. Not That One, The Other One
Who could possibly forget the courageous 2000 USA women's gymnastics team, who captured America's heart, and captured a bronze medal — 10 years later, because one of the Chinese gymnasts was 14 years old?...
Juan Antonio Samaranch Passes Away
Former Olympic head honcho Juan Antonio Samaranch died in Barcelona today at the age of 89. We'll never forget the way he always cheered up third-place finishers by pretending to pull the bronze medal out of their ear. [CNN]...
Stories That Don't Suck: Axl Rose, Hockey Goons, Cassius Bom-Ba-Ye, Dr. Z In The USSR
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....
Canadians Also Win Gold For Synchronized Peeing
The City of Edmonton charted water consumption during the hockey gold medal game and found that the whole damn town apparently saved its "business" for the intermissions. [Pat's Papers]...
Sportswriter Gil LeBreton Compares Vancouver 2010 To Berlin 1936
The Vancouver Olympics were an impressive display of Canadian pride and ambition, culminating in the most dominating hometown performance in the history of the Winter Games. You know who else liked dominating the Olympics, don't you? HITLER!...
Russians Also Not Shy About Winning, Threatening Olympic Bureaucrats
Russia is taking a page out of the Canadian playbook by making it clear that they intend to dominate Sochi in 2014. They're also taking a page out of the Soviet playbook by issuing ominous warnings to their own people....