on Page 6343 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Masterpiece Returns
We are proud to welcome famed hockey journalist James Mirtle to the post of NHL Closer writer this week....

The Armadillo Cowboy, Know Thy Name
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or throwing out pork chops, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...

About Last Night
My sovereign lord, bestow yourself with speed: The squirrels are bravely in their battles set, And will with all expedience charge on us! • Up until last night I thought a Todd Collins was an alcoholic beverage. Redskins 24, Bears 16. • NBA: Miami ... the center of suck in the world of professional ...

The Thrilling Nature Of An NFC Wild-Card Elimination Game
The NFL Network was crowing about its Cowboys-Packers ratings last week. Let's see how they do with a game much fewer people care about....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC busts Santa ... • Boxing: Super welterweights, Andrey "A Case Of The Dingies" Tsurkan vs. Yuri "Peace Through Diplomacy" Foreman; super welterweights, Sergio "Hands of Butter" Martinez vs. Ossie "Prison Lunch" Duran, at New York. [Versus] • College bas...

Curt Schilling On His Bonus Clause, And Others'
Curt Schilling, on his immaculately typed blog this week, blasted the new Baseball Writers Association rule that says anyone who has an incentive in their contract to win an MVP or Cy Young award will be ineligible. There's money to be lost, but that doesn't seem to be his issue; actually, we're not...

Doug Gottlieb Does Not Like Your Taunts
We don't have as big a problem with ESPN college basketball analyst Doug Gottlieb as some others do. He tends to make Big Controversial Statements, but a lot of the time, he's willing to anger people rather than play the usual "hey, coach, great game!" back-slapping role of the typical hoops analyst...

Time For More Fun And Games With ESPN Memos
After the infamous ESPN Memo from this summer, the folks at ESPN wised up and stopped widely distributing their interoffice "Town Meeting" emails. It appears, however, they have gotten lazy: We have another one....

SHOTY First Round: Isiah Thomas Vs. Marques Slocum
We come, AT LAST, to the end of the first round of SHOTY voting. Yes, it's taken a while; just be glad we have 16 competitors, rather than 64. We would have had to start in June....

Jamboroo, Week 14: College Overtime? In The NFL? F—k Yeah!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

College Football's Consolation Bracket
• If college football had an NIT. [Gopher Nation] • Pedro Guerrero in a satin jacket. [Joe Sports Fan] • Julian Tavarez will ultimately be missed in Boston. Not really. [Red Sox Monster] • How Mitch Albom is similar to James Frey. [The Fynal Cut] • An IM conversation summing up all the current weird...

Fun With Bermanisms
What is the worst Bermanism of all time? Sure, they're all cringe-inducing; especially if you imagine him blurting them out during pickup sex. Plus, they seem to multiply like fleas; there must be about a hundred of them. Well, actually, 528 to be exact. Yep, some poor sap compiled a list of every b...

Barry Bonds Could Really Use Johnnie Cochran Right About Now
Considering the charges against him — and the public opinion forces, going all the way up to President bush — one would think Barry Bonds' legal team would be coming together and preparing a fierce, scorched earth strategy to take down what are arguably pumped-up charges. One would be wrong....

Baseball Alumni Would Like Some More Of Your Money, Please
Always wanted to get close to your favorite baseball players, but only in a corporate, officially licensed, non-transferable type of way? You're in luck: You can become a member of the Major League Baseball Players Alumni Association....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning for its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Woman Knocks Out Husband With Potato; Dodgers Sign Her For $25 Million Over Two Years
If you're Irish like me, this is pretty much an everyday occurrence. But for others it may be rare: During a drunken Thanksgiving argument, a wife grabbed a potato and fired it at her husband, nailing him right in the snout and knocking him to Dream Town. (As Emeril would say: "Bam!"). Aside from th...

Micah Owings Might Go Both Ways
One of the stars of the Diamondbacks' improbable 2007 season was Micah Owings, the pitcher who could hit better than almost everybody else in Arizona's lineup. In the offseason, teams look for every advantage they can find, to fill every hole. The D-Backs are getting creative; they're thinking of pu...