on Page 6384 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

About Last Night...
What you missed, thanks in part to those damn singing condoms... • NCAA Football: Arizona State travels up to Oregon, dies of dysentery. • NASCAR: Carl Edwards overcomes adversity, rookie drivers to win NASCAR's minor league circuit. • MLS: New York England Revolution tax New York Red Bulls without ...

Why, I'll Show You Rumormongering, Mr. Reporter Man
In the column inches of metro daily paper on a peaceful Saturday morning, somewhere between the high school box scores and soft news on retired athletes, you wouldn't expect to find a rant about blogs....


To Watch Tonight
What to watch while setting your clocks ahead one hour, then realizing you're doing it wrong... • 6:40 p.m. — NCAA Football: Arizona State at Oregon. [ESPN] • 8 p.m. — NCAA Football: Florida State at Boston College, Texas A&M at Oklahoma, Oregon State at USC. The regional coverage map reminds me I n...

While at a Denver-area restaurant, John Elway was cut off from alcohol after the restaurant manager claimed he tried to order his eighth glass of wine. Even if he had seven glasses, he still would have been able to legally drive at least 98 yards on streets in the Cleveland area. [Rocky Mountain New...

Let's Get This Sparty Started
Michigan State's fervor in this game against Michigan seemed to have died last night in that basketball loss to Grand Valley State. The Wolverines are up early in this one 14-3. It's as if something John L. Smith said last year finally sank in with the MSU players this afternoon....

Brett Favre Embodies The Tecmo Bowl Pass Play
I'd assume that a Tecmo Bowl Byron Leftwich would keep cycling through his receivers with the B button until someone sacks him....

No Fair, The Game's On Sand
• The USA plays Iran in beach soccer tomorrow. [Dave's Football Blog] • Midget bullfighting? Sounds educational. [Blog of Hilarity] • Some apartment complex in DC wants to give you free rent, courtesy of Dexter Manley. [Deuce of Davenport] • Fun with Mets' custom-engraved bricks. [ArmchairGM] • The ...

Kansas Builds A Rather Portly Lead
It seems like the majority of the readers — at least those with Instant Message accounts — are taking notice of Kansas ripping through Nebraska 48-24 at halftime. Virginia and Wake Forest are also trying to make the game interesting, but failing, as the WF Deacons lead 16-10....


Welcome To The Fukudome
As the baseball offseason enters its sixth day, it's already time to begin looking at our latest Japanese imports. In this case, it's another Hideki Matsui-type player, Kosuke Fukudome. Pronunciation could get a little dangerous. It's either co-SOO-kay FOO-coo-DOUGH-may or kuh-SUCK-ee FUCK-a-DOME....


Ducks Commence Tailgate Over 12 Hours Before Gametime
Not everyone can watch the Ohio State-Wisconsin game, so it pains me to tell you all that it's actually quite a good game. Wisconsin had an amazing fake punt, where No. 94 threw to No. 97, quite possibly the longest offensive play in Wisconsin history where two players with 90-something jerseys touc...

Big Ten Network Airs Another Mind-Dissolving Upset (So Nobody Saw It)
Well it's about damn time a Big Ten favorite loses their first game of the season to a championship-caliber team from a smaller division. Grand Valley State, who made it to last year's Division II Elite Eight round (only to lose on a buzzer-beater), took an exhibition game way too seriously and won ...

Yes, That's Right, It's An NHL Closer
• Caliendo Can't Impersonate Him. Learn well, kids. When you have a choice between shooting at the goal and not shooting at the goal ... shoot at the goal. This was where I failed miserably in youth sports. But John Madden knew better, and decided against clearing the puck on a power play. His lack-...

ESPN Announcers Have Different Netflix Queues
You Can Stuff Your Sorries In A Sack. Gilbert Arenas guaranteed victory, but the Celtics instead opened up a 37-point second quarter and won 103-83. Now I demand my money back. No, I didn't put up any money on this game, but I was talking about that Thai food that made me sick a few weeks ago. I wan...


Teewee Wistings, How Womantic
First, the College Football: • 12 noon — Wisconsin at Ohio State [BTN ... sorry, Comcastic Columbus!] • 12 noon — Indiana at Ball State [BTN] • 12 noon — Purdue at Penn State [ESPN] • 12 noon — Iowa at Northwestern [ESPN2] • 12:30 p.m. — Kansas State at Iowa State [Versus] • 2:30 p.m. — Navy at Notr...

About Last Night ...
♬ And if you say to me tomorrow ♬ oh what fun it all would be ♬ then what's to stop us pretty baby ♬ but what you missed and what should never be ♬ • NHL: Zednik scores twice, but only once in our heart, in Panthers 4-2 in over Sabres. • NBA: For once, Jason Kidd is the humiliated one, in Nets 106-6...

So There's This Big Soccer Game Today, I'm Told
Okay. Take a look to the east. See the sun rising? Okay, look at the little blotch of land right below it. Don't see it? Here, use my binoculars. Hmm... you still don't see it? Okay, well look at this Mercator projection map. Right there. England. Located somewhere in that country, probably in that ...