on Page 6393 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Inane "Cubs Fans-White Sox Fans: Who's Hotter?" Debate Rages On
This should make for some interesting conversation at the Pants Party [The Sports Hernia]...

The Internet Hooligan Database Gives You Seven Stars Out of Ten For Bludgeoning
Euro 2008 gets underway today and to head off the inevitable flurry of violence that's just going to happen anyway, authorities in Switzerland have sent out letters of warning to 320 people who are listed on the country's hooligan database....

Cedric Benson Runs Past More Red Lights Than Defenders
Cedric Benson, a month removed from a Sun Chips-fueled boozy boating excursion with mom gone awry, was charged with drunk driving this morning in Texas. This will surely help to build sympathy for him against what he says were trumped up charges issued during the May 3 incident....

Wes Welker's Musical Belly Button Captivates Crowd
A few members of the New England Patriots got crazy karaoke-style for Larryoke, a charity event organized by Pats' special teams captain Larry Izzo. Those in attendance were blown away by Wes Welker's belly button rendition of "MacArthur Park". That thing's got some pipes....


Kwame Kilpatrick Will Never Send You Naughty Text Messages After This
Beleaguered Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was not received warmly at the Red Wings victory extravaganza yesterday. Maybe it has something to do with the sundry scandals and the vetoing of the funds set aside to remove him from office. The booing doesn't even fade after the proffering of free beer. ...

Kuroda Is The New Rikishi
This lissome fellow is Mongolian sumo wrestler Hakuho, who looks to be contemplating where to start peeling the foil off the hardball to get to the chocolately goodness within. I've tried Hakuho, it's pretty low-grade stuff. He was one of a group of sumo on hand to watch the Dodgers Hiroki Kuroda d...

About Last Night...
What you missed while amassing your army of humanzees in anticipation of the Deadspin power vacuum......

So, Yeah, Active Week
• See ya, Hirshey. • See ya ... what? See ya ... us? • If the Cubs are gonna keep winning, at least this happened. • Uh, yikes. • This guy is the greatest. • Ron Artest, journalist. • Drew, out of the closet. • We're not sure we'd get along with Chuck Bednarik. • Everybody likes that Kimbo Slice cha...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you say goodbye to the Hockey Night In Canada theme song ... • Boxing: Light welterweights, Herman Ngoudjo vs. Souleymane M'Baye, in Montreal (8:30 p.m., ET). A limit of 140 pounds? My tonsils weigh more than that. [ESPN2] • College Baseball: NCAA Division I Tournament, super region...

Kimbo Slice's American Dream Will Live To Fight Another Day
As confirmed on Dan LeBatard's radio show yesterday, Kimbo's next opponent in Elite XC is against the Fishbone-esque mohawked madman Brett "The Grim" Rogers. Slice and Rogers got into a little spat after Kimbo's controversial victory, with Rogers shouting at the bearded man-beast and calling his vic...

Kenny Mayne Offers His Own Erudite, Glib Belmont Prognostications
ESPN luminary and horsey specialist (and author!) Kenny Mayne took some of his precious, precious time to offer these salient insights to the readers of Deadspin who might be considering throwing a friendly wager or two on tomorrow's Belmont Stakes....

Evander Holyfield Would Appreciate It If You'd Pick Up The Check
So Evander Holyfield is broke. His $10 million house (featuring 17 bathrooms and a bowling alley) is in foreclosure, he's behind in child support payments, and things are generally looking bleak. And people, it's your fault. You just aren't buying enough Real Deal Grills! Why not? Dual temperature c...

Apparently, It Doesn't Pay To Go After Umps
The kid, Matt Hill, was supposed to walk on at Gordon College. Not any more....

Your Belmont Stakes Preview
Tomorrow Big Brown takes a run at the Triple Crown in the Belmont Stakes. A horse hasn't swept the Triple Crown in 30 years, so we're told it's kind of a big deal if it actually happens. We've asked Angelo Grasso of the Gowanus Rotisserie Baseball Gazette to preview it for us....

Joe Montana And Matt Leinart, BFF, Or Something
It has been amusing, as we flip through the NFL season preview mags we keep buying — are they always out this early? — is that every single one of them mentions Matt Leinart's fun-loving beer bonging. As we said from the get-go, the reason those pictures took off was because they fit into an existin...

Steroid Dealer David Jacobs Gave Himself Unfortunate Nickname
David Jacobs, the NFL steroid snitch found shot dead in his Plano, Texas home with his girlfriend, didn't hide his love of all things performance-enhancing, and it may have cost him his life....

You're Too Much Trouble. Get Some Therapy.
We were a stand-up tomato: a juicy, sexy, beefsteak tomato. Nobody does vegetables like us. We did an evening of vegetables off-Broadway. We did the best tomato, the best cucumber... we did an endive salad that knocked the critics on their ass....