on Page 6433 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Getting Crowded In Horse Valhalla
Eight Belles is probably in Heaven by now, galloping in fields of clover on four sturdy legs and eating tasty apples. No, I'm not sure which friends she's romping about with up there (a safe bet; one of them is not Christopher Reeve). Down here on earth, though, things are quite unsettled. Who is to...
Who Is This Old Man In My Online Baseball Schedule?
So I'm perusing the Giants schedule on their MLB site and look what I see on May 22. Apparently we're all going to the movies! I expect to see ads on the periphery of my baseball schedule, but within the schedule itself? It's just one small step from that to Doritos ads on players' uniforms. (They'r...
The Dallas Marathon
The NHL Closer is written by five immigrants from Mexico that moonlight on Melt Your Face-Off. When not braving the mighty Rio Grande and ducking the Minutemen, we TAKE UR JOBS!...
Congratulatory Hugs Aren't What They Used To Be
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is eagerly awaiting the Hawks-Celtics game. When he's not stenciling a green shamrock on his butt cheeks, he can be found holding Damon Wayans hostage at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
About Last Night
What you missed while mourning another tragic Civil War casualty ... • NHL: *Yawn!* Is the Stars-Sharks game over yet? • MLB: Maddux vows to win No. 350 before the next appearance of comet Hale-Bopp. • NBA: Confused Jazz discover that hack-a-Kobe strategy does not work. Los Angeles 109, Utah 98....
Chris Cooley Blogs, Fred Davis Sleeps
Reports out of Ashburn, Virginia (nothing good has ever followed that phrase) indicate that Fred Davis, one of Washington's second round picks, slept through one of his first practices as a Redskin. It isn't a good start for the rookie, especially with a Pro Bowl tight end starting in front of him....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while doing a little post-Derby laundry... • Sunday Night Baseball: St. Louis Cardinals vs. Chicago Cubs. Finally, an end to the early May logjam atop the NL Central! [ESPN] • Drag Racing: NHRA Midwest Nationals, Final Eliminations from Madison, IL. This midwestern bias is getting out...
Gussying Up the WNBA's Rookie Class
The WNBA, like other professional leagues, holds an annual orientation for their new rookie class. Unlike other professional leagues, this orientation featured courses on hairstyles, makeup tips, and other non-pillow fighting related slumber party activities....
Da Meat Hook Likes a Good Rubdown
• Washington's massage therapist "found the spot" that gave Dmitri Young "instant release." [Mister Irrelevant] • LSU fans have had better weeks. [Cajun Boy In the City] • Dhani Jones enjoys two things in his free time, designing bow ties and playing rugby with professionals. [FanHouse] • Updates o...
Hawks Exit Stage Left
The Atlanta Hawks gave their fans plenty to cheer about with three home wins against the Celtics, but they were finally finished off this afternoon. Boston continued their home dominance with 99-65 curb-stomping, although it could have been much worse. The win sends them into the second round again...
Cesc Fabregas Is Flaming
Take note Chicago Fire, that is how you're going to put asses in the seats....
Newcastle Owner Now Slightly Richer
Newcastle have been on quite a run as of late, and Mike Ashley is taking full advantage. The club's billionaire owner recently strolled into his local casino (note to self: move to England) and had a seat at the roulette wheel, the greatest table game of them all. Ashley decided to make the boldest ...
Free Darko On Los Angeles-Utah
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Los Angeles Lakers-Utah Jazz series. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals....
A Beautiful Day to Watch Others Exercise
• In Progress — NBA: Boston Celtics vs. Atlanta Hawks. Mike Woodson tried to get excited for Game Seven, but he's just so steamed about that Rookie of the Year vote. [ABC] • 2:00 — NHL: Pittsburgh Penguins vs. New York Rangers. Can the Penguins close them out? Are you still reading? [NBC] • 3:00 — P...
Pistonmania Is Running Wild On The Magic!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is eagerly awaiting the Hawks-Celtics game. When he's not stenciling a green shamrock on his butt cheeks, he can be found holding Damon Wayans hostage at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Arizona Cannot Be Stopped
Brandon Webb didn't have his best performance of the year, but he can thank Augie Ojeda for helping him notch a seventh consecutive win. The Arizona reserve filled in mightily for the injured Orlando Hudson, driving in six of the runs in the 10-4 win over the Mets. Ojeda had three hits, including tw...
Hornets Tell It Like It Is, Spurs Fall to Pieces
I immediately regret that headline. Anyway, New Orleans opened their series against San Antonio in style with an ass kicking of impressive proportions. The Spurs held a four point lead after the first quarter, but once the mascot lit the floor on fire the Hornets outscored the visitors by 23. Tim D...
BWI Isn't Just a Crappy Airport In Maryland
Cedric Benson, the oft-maligned running back of the Chicago Bears, was arrested last night by the Lower Colorado River Authority (the LAPD of southwest waterways) after being stopped for suspicion of boating while intoxicated. The 25 year-old was hosting between 12 and 15 guests on his 30-foot boat...
About Last Night
What you missed while setting New Orleans on fire... • NBA: For some reason the New Orleans Hornet attempted to jump through a ring of fire in between the first and second quarter. Once they put out the fire the Hornets couldn't be stopped. • Boxing: Oscar de la Hoya dispatched of Stevie Forbes with...