on Page 7015 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Contest Results Are In
It's something the sight of which caused Mrs. Costanza to stumble and throw out her back, and truthfully, if she had seen this, it would have killed her. The 2006 Masturbate-a-thon is now in the record books, as approximately 50 participants — mostly men, and not including Mike Cooper — "dragged t...

Set Tasers To, Uh, Taze? Tase?
Off the Baggie brings up something we've been noticing as well: It sure does seem like lots of athletes are getting tasered lately....

You Got Neil Rackers, Yo
All right, so we know this isn't real, and we know it's just an NFL promotional video (for a product we don't use; we prefer Yahoo for our all fantasy games, to be honest with you), but we still could not resist....

USA Basketball Barely Escapes (And We Don't Mean "From China")
We don't mean to ruin it for those of you who had your Brazilian Tivos all set up, but USA Basketball just had its first serious scare in preparation for the World Championships, edging Brazil 90-86. The Americans led by 14 at halftime, but Brazil — led by the immortal Tiago Splitter — closed it lat...

Live Blogging People Walking Through Hotels
The guy right here is Roger Goodell, who is very likely to become the next commissioner of the NFL, perhaps as early as today. In the past, discussions concerning the new commissioner were contentious; Paul Tagliabue himself was the product of an ugly power play that pushed out the late Jim Finks....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Baseball with Joe Morgan: I've bet 50 smackers that you won't be late for this chat. Don't let me down, Joe. Come on Joe, baby needs a new pair of cleats! • 2 p.m. Boxer Oleg Maskaev: If the USSR had been disolved earlier, woul...

At This Point, They Should Probably Just Have A Lockup Near Camp
What more can we tell you: Another Bengal got arrested. This time it was Bootsy Collins favoite left guard Eric Steinbach, who was arrested for operating a boat under the influence on Saturday night. He was, in fact, in the water at the time, though we admit it would be funnier if he weren't. He i...

The Closer: Liriano's Miner Setback
Notes from a day in baseball:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while painting the lawn green ... • Howard's End: Ryan Howard hits 39th homer, gets 100th RBI to lead Phillies over Braves. • Tennis: David Nalbandian loses at Rogers Cup before we even learn how to pronounce his name. • World Series of Poker: Vegas baby, Vegas! Gold avoids being kic...

Go Toward The Light, Emmitt
You thought that finishing his career flat on the turf of Sun Devil Stadium was the most embarassing final image of all-time rushing champ Emmitt Smith one could come up with....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Madden's HOF induction speech enters its fifth hour ... • Basketball: Men's national team, USA vs. China, at Guangzhou, China. For those attending, here's how to get there. Find Hong Kong, then go north until you hit "a prosperous metropolis full of vigor." Oh, and also, here's who ...

In Case You Forgot What Disney Is
It seems like it has been so long now that Disney has owned ESPN (ABC bought ESPN in 1994, and Disney bought ABC in 1996) that we forget just how unusual the collaboration. Fortunately, this random, bizarre promotional video — we don't know if it's official or not; it looks like it's actually a resu...

Leftovers: Leavin' Livan
• Hey, look, Jim Bowden actually got off his arse and traded somebody. [Associated Press] • Waiver trades ... explained. [McSweeney's] • We love it when race car drivers have street races. [Jalopnik] • You know, Jason Elam is kind of a badass. [Rocky Mountain News] • Ever wonder what Paul from "The ...

Do NOT Mess With This Woman
We have always assumed that if a woman were to end up breaking through to compete on the highest professional athletic level, it would not be as a kicker, as has often been tried: It would be as a knuckleball pitcher in baseball. It doesn't hinge on strength, endurance or speed; it just requires pra...

Hope Your Mustaches Are All Grown
So, hey, if you happen to be in the Dunedin, Fla. area tonight, it's the first of those big fun Dunedin Blue Jays promotions inspired by this here Web site. Tonight's festivities: Carl Monday Mustache Night. It's becoming increasingly easy to get in for a reduced $3 admission....

"Unfortunately, We Don't Have That Tape Either"
From the "Boom Goes The Dynamite" file comes this decade-old but new-to-us clip of a Quincy, Ill. CBS affiliate....

Four Tiny Tidbits On: The Pacific-10 Conference
We must confess that we can't wait each year for the crunch of shoulder pads; for cleats churning up chunks of turf, and red-faced coaches screaming from the sidelines. But enough about lacrosse. College football season is upon us, and to celebrate, we're going to get back into tiny tidbit mode and ...

Blogdome: More International Hoops
• A preview of tonight's USA-China exhibition basketball game. [Golden State Of Mind] • Taking a look at those Green Bay Packers. [Kissing Suzy Kolber] • Man, heavyweight boxing really is getting worse. [Chicago Sports Wrap] Hey, an actual update in the Duke lacrosse case. [A Shot Of Southern Comfor...

Your Hollywood Minute
There's crazy, and then there's that special brand of crazy that is Reds pitcher Bronson Arroyo. What would you do if you were a major league pitcher going for your 10th win of the season, as Arroyo will be doing on Thursday? Why, you'd dedicate the win to actress Bo Derek, naturally. Because she wa...

Oxnard Must Be An Entertaining Camp
Few athletes give us more joy, in a "Jeez, look how far this idiot has fallen" type of way, than former Eagles dope Freddie Mitchell. Last time we checked in with him, he was considering offers from Jon Bon Jovi's team in the Arena League....