on Page 7016 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Most Famous Buzzsaw Cheerleader
So here's the best story we've heard all day, even though it's only new to us. If any of you out there, like us, religiously watch "The Office" — we even watch the repeats — you're familiar with Phyllis, the portly saleswoman who knits and is happy in love with Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. NCAA FB with Todd McShay: How does a person like yourself, who is only in the fifth grade, know so much about college football? • 4 p.m.. Sunday IRL winner: And our lucky winer is: Jimmie Johnson. Welcome, Jimmy. ... Jimmy? Did s...

Free Darko, Live On Scene, And Loving Jim Gray
Generally speaking, we think it's silly for online writers — who are the only ones free from the PR/press pass/everybody-play-nice circle jerk of commercialized athletics — to salivate over press passes as if they had, at last, been invited to the ball. But we will make an exception when the folks f...

And Just Like That, The NFL Returns
Hey, everybody, there was football yesterday!...

Why We'd Sign With The Utah Jazz
Last week, the New York Daily News uncovered a steroid ring that could end up affecting some of the biggest, most beloved names in our sport. Today, their rivals at the New York Post uncovered that baseball players cheat on their wives....

The Closer: Randy Newman Is Smiling
Notes from a day in baseball:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to make yourself cry at will ... • NFL: Raiders beat Eagles 16-10 in Hall of Fame Game. • PGA: OK, now Tiger Woods is just showing off. • Horse racing: Dear Bluegrass Cat — You are a horse. You cannot read. This cannot be read to you. But nice going, and thanks for not b...

Real Pro Football Back on NBC
The Eagles play the Raiders tonight, which may be of some interest to fans in Oakland, Philadelphia, and various penitentiaries throughout the nation. But, since preseason football is mostly boring, the debut of interest tonight is that of the NFL on NBC crew....

To Watch Tonight...
• MLB: Phillies @ Mets. I could gaze into Mr. Met's beautiful eyes for hours. 8:00, ESPN. • NFL: Raiders vs. Eagles. Whichever team has more fans arrested by halftime wins. 8:00, NBC. • Movie: Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo. Yeah, ball hair. What we need is a strike here. 8:00, FX....

Colonless Guy Scores 132 Points In Two Games
It's probably a little bit unfair to refer to DeJuan Wagner as an anonymous colonless guy, but he has been fairly anonymous over the past couple of years. He was once the next big thing, a scoring machine in high school, and the 6th-overall pick in the NBA draft. His game never translated that well ...

LeftoverDome...
• The Mets/Phillies game tonight will be liveblogged. [MiracleMets.Net] • Jason Giambi gets a little testy when they give him the infield shift. [BlogNYC] • The 50 greatest WWF rivalries [Rivalfish] • Checking back in with Finger Jousting [Fringe Sports Central] • I don't know that any "athlete over...

Steelers + Motorcycles = Bad News
Jealous of all the attention devoted to Ben Roethlisberger and his motorcycle, Steelers offensive lineman Barrett Brooks took to the streets last night. He "drove recklessly around a police car," which is never a good idea....

Evidently, Larry Flynt Is In The Basketball Court Painting Business
I'm a little disappointed in myself that I didn't notice this. What you are looking at is the court on which Team USA drubbed Puerto Rico last night in an exhibition basketball game. And, as was noted at sethgunderson.com, the lane looks a little... well, penile....

The NFL Finally Cracks Down On The Evil Silent Count
The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review gets into some of the rule changes that the NFL is making this year, and some of them, I wasn't aware of. One big rule seems designed to make it harder for teams to use a "silent count" in a loud building, limiting that way that offensive linemen can move before the sna...

Rhett Bomar's Next Home?
You know what school is interested in former Oklahoma quarterback Rhett Bomar? Division II school Texas A&M-Commerce. Rhett Bomar. Commerce. Irony....

Embracing The Colors
The Major League Soccer All-Star Game featured one team of All-Stars from MLS against Chelsea, the reigning champions of the English Premier League, and, thanks to their insane payroll, kinda like a World All-Star team. The MLS team won, 1-0. Here are two sides of the story. First, Dwayne De Rosar...

For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
1:00, TBS. MLB. Braves @ Reds. It's up to John Smoltz to avoid the sweep. 1:30, ABC. Women's Golf. Weetabix Women's British Open. I think Laurie Davies should head to the OB/GYN to get her weetabix checked out. 2:30, NBC. NASCAR. Nextel Cup, All State 400 at the Brickyard. I don't think it's very sa...

About Last Night...
• NASCAR: Jeff Burton earns pole at Allstate 400. That means he gets a little bit of a head start on the other guys. • MLB: Indians 3, Tigers 4. I'm starting to think that Fausto Carmona was a bad idea for my fantasy team. • Eating: Kobayashi eats 58 bratwursts. It's a new world record. I would damn...

Dear Lord Baby Jesus, That Was Funny
I was fortunate enough to see Talladega Nights yesterday, and I'm damn sure not going to wait until the DVD comes out to see it again. It did not only tickle my funnybone, it made sweet love to it. I'm just itching to quote the movie here, but I think I should probably wait until the DVD comes out t...

To Watch Tonight...
• NASCAR. Busch Series, Kroger 200. Talledega Nights taught me all about the slingshot maneuver. 9:00, TNT. • World Cup Soccer. Czech Republic vs. United States. If the MLS All-Star Game didn't convince you that we still suck at soccer... Oops. 10:00, ESPNU. • NFL. Green Bay Packers Intrasquad Scrim...