oops Page 35 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Even The ESPN Announcers Were Tired Of Watching That Orange Bowl
ESPN3's online feed does away with commercials entirely, leaving dead silence in their place. Except sometimes they forget to cut the announcers' mics, leading to awkward exchanges like last night's between Jaws, Gruden and Tirico....

Andray Blatche Out-Terribles Hedo's Blown Dunk
You thought this was bad? You don't know bad. Andray Blatche knows bad....

Fan Takes Ball To The Head, Loses Skullcap
This from yesterday's Club World Cup match in Abu Dhabi. We see your hoisted hairpiece, and raise you one toppled taqiyah....

Ref Takes Ball To The Head, Loses Toupee
Your guess is as good as mine as to where this comes from. All I know is that ref will keep a closer eye on clearances in the future, and maybe consider a stronger adhesive....

Let Salomon Kalou's Glistening Rump Take You Into The Weekend
The Chelsea forward took a tumble during this week's Champions League match, and seemed in no hurry to hike his shorts back up. Or perhaps, like Gary Lineker, he had some quick business to take care of....

Antoine Walker Airballs Free Throw, Nails Metaphor In D-League Debut
Flat broke, Walker signed a low-5-figure deal with the Idaho Stampede. He scored 13 in his debut last night, but we think this shot is a more appropriate highlight. [h/t Dan]...

Goalkeeper Gaffes Happen In Any Weather
From the lower levels of Brazilian soccer comes this poor fellow badly misjudging a ball through the rain and wind. He still might not know it went in. [h/t The Spoiler]...

Blues Goalie Spikes It Into The Net: Bad In Volleyball, Worse In Hockey
The bad news: Jaroslav Halak has allowed 13 goals in his last two games. The good news: he actually only gave up 12, because one last night was a horrible own-goal....

Unbelievable Miss Just Reinforces That There's No Scoring In Soccer
Quarterfinals of the Asian Games, stoppage time, and Qatar's Fahad Khalfan has naught but 24 feet of twine between him and victory. Doink. Uzbekistan would win in extra time....

Here's A Spectator Getting Absolutely Nailed In The Head With A Golf Shot
That's Robert Allenby with the errant tee shot at the Australian Masters. The man was carted off on a stretcher, bleeding from the head but giving a thumbs up. Allenby made par thanks to the favorable bounce. [AAP]...

A Very Painful Own Goal
From the lower levels of Irish soccer comes the double-whammy: an own-goal, and the braining of a teammate....

Dong-Obsessed Blog Hears Dong Mentioned On SportsCenter
Okay, maybe "Ben Roethliscock" is an unfortunate mental contraction of "Roethlisberger," "called" and "gut check." Still Bruschi was talking about inches and penetration before throwing it to the beleaguered Ms. McKendry....

This Is The Worst Start To A Newscast Ever (UPDATE: Video Back)
Something is definitely afoot in San Diego's 10 News Communication Center, or at least something was on this particular day. Problems behind, in front of, and around the camera materialize at a rapid clip, making for sweet, wonderful, YouTubeable failure. [@richarddeitsch]...

Kenny Mayne "Prefers Fornicating Horses," ESPN.com Informs
An amusing double-entendre about Kenny Mayne! Bring me the finest meats and cheeses!...

So, What's Mrs. Tom Brady Doing With This Guy Who Isn't Mr. Tom Brady? (With Update!)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Double Buckner: What Does It Mean?
Here's Gaby Sanchez, and then Dan Uggla exposing their five-holes on the same play. "Good times out there tonight," Uggla joked. Maybe baseball doesn't belong in Florida....

Look At The Fucking End Of This Trend: Sayonara, Hoopsters
The Hoopsters brought us a lot of enjoyment over the last two months. However, now that summer's over and the New York Times is writing about them—and quoting me—it's time to say goodbye....

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: "Kelly Tripucka" Hangs Out With San Antonio Spurs, Is Lead Singer Of Arcade Fire
An occasional feature in which we spotlight the ridiculous trend of recontextualized basketball jerseys. Today: everyone's favorite Polish-American Knicks color commentator Kelly Tripucka....

One Of Our Hoopsters Is Tangentially Newsworthy, Source Says (CONFIRMATION UPDATE)
After Lollapalooza, we were inundated with hoopster sightings. We had a plethora to choose from and ended up doing multiple collections. One of our hoopsters was wearing a Team USA Joe Dumars jersey, turns out his brother just destroyed his ankle....

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: "Shaquille O'Neal" Makes Out With Some Guy At A Party
An occasional feature in which we spotlight the ridiculous trend of recontextualized basketball jerseys. Today: The Diesel, Shaquille O'Neal....