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The Kings Are Staying In Sacramento
The Maloofs are out. According to the Sacramento Bee, the brothers came out of hiding long enough to to sell the Kings to a group for $535 million. The group, led by Silicon Valley billionaire and Golden State Warriors minority owner Vivek Ranadive, will be keeping the team in Sacramento. The deal i...

Marc Gasol Makes Wonderful <em>Pulp Fiction</em> Reference In Postgame Interview
Here's Marc Gasol answering questions from the media after helping his team to a Game 5, series-clinching victory over the Thunder. At about the 25-second mark, a reporter asks him how meaningful a trip to the Western Conference finals is to the franchise. His response is priceless....

A Special Mother's Day Message From "Get In The Hole!" Guy
The "get in the hole!" guy is pretty much the worst guy on any televised golf course, but even that guy has a mom, or a wife or a sister with kids. ...

The Maloofs Still Want Nothing To Do With Sacramento
The Maloofs recently announced they have a "Plan B" up their sleeves if the NBA does not approve the latest offer made by the Seattle-based ownership group with whom they have been negotiating the sale of the Sacramento Kings: they're going to make things ugly....


MLB More Concerned With Pink Bat Sponsorships Than Umpires Fucking Up
For Mother's Day, MLB players sometimes use pink bats with the intent of bringing awareness to breast cancer. Jeff Passan of Yahoo Sports found that this season, the MLB struck an exclusive deal with the parent company of Louisville Slugger to make those bats....

Here's How To Make A Delicious Mother's Day Brunch, You Lousy Ingrates
That Mother's Day is little more than a gussied-up mid-spring sales event—Sweeps Week for florists—needn't be argued at any great length. Still, buncha bullshit though it might be, the holiday nevertheless serves as an occasion to appreciate and celebrate one of the true and truly wonderful pillars...

Here's Penn State Coach Bill O'Brien Doing An Impression Of His Mother
Bill O'Brien just concluded a stand-up routine coaches' caravan tour around Pennsylvania. Yesterday, he addressed whether he said "fuckers" or "fighters" on live TV after the Nittany Lions' season-ending win against Wisconsin. Turns out even his mother thought it might not have been "fighters."...




Rob Parker's "Cornball Brother" Comment Is Still A Big Headache For ESPN
Well, actually, the Rob Parker cornball comment became a big headache for the CEO of ESPN's parent company, Disney. At a Disney shareholders meeting yesterday, one guy representing a conservative group, the National Center for Public Policy Research, used Parker's comment to demonstrate that ESPN is...

Brewers' Racing Sausage Thieves Took Their Prize On A Boozy Bender
More details about the recent theft of Guido the Italian Sausage have emerged, and they come courtesy of those who carried out the heist. Ted Berg of USA Today Sports received a message from the sausage thieves, and under the condition of maintaining their anonymity, they told him all about the grea...
![A Hero Emerges In The Milwaukee Racing Sausage-Napping [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18fzhpk4dbfedjpg.jpg)
A Hero Emerges In The Milwaukee Racing Sausage-Napping [UPDATE]
We told you earlier today about the theft of beloved Brewers Italian racing sausage, Guido. The whereabouts of Guido and his thieving conspirators—it's got to be at least a two-man job at this point—remain a mystery. Their days may be numbered however thanks to one brave woman's plan: free mustard....

Here's Why You Don't Tell Your Mom When Your Ski Races Are Scheduled
The other day, Yuri Danilochkin of Belarus went flying down the slope in the downhill competition at the FIS World Cup championships in Schladming, Austria. He just never made it past the first turn. Crashes happen in skiing, but be sure to watch what happens at the 58-second mark of the video abo...

Liquor Store Owner Shot In Eye During Robbery Says The Rock Beating CM Punk Ruined His Week
This has made the rounds a little, but it's new to us. The man in the video is Tom Dotterer, who's known around Syracuse, N.Y., as the 77-year-old baseball coach at Christian Brothers Academy and the longtime owner of Salina Liquors and Wine. He gained additional notoriety last week when he was sh...

Incredibly British Recap Of Knicks-Pistons Game In London Frets About "Jaunty Accordion Music" Playing Over The P.A.
The Knicks and Pistons played a basketball game in London this past Thursday at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, which is among the reasons you likely did not know about it. David Stern has been talking for some time about putting an NBA team in London permanently—multiple teams in Europe within the nex...

Tuesday Night Fights: ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER Examines What May Be The Most Disturbing TNF Video Ever
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: A San Francisco "Beatdown" which was taken down rather quickly a few weeks back. Tonight's commentator: ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER makes a return appearance, and humbly reques...
![Kenny Britt Still Hasn't Talked To Police About His Friend's Stabbing, And No One Seems To Know Where He Is [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18bijij6en4uujpg.jpg)
Kenny Britt Still Hasn't Talked To Police About His Friend's Stabbing, And No One Seems To Know Where He Is [UPDATED]
To review: Kenny Britt's friend* was brought to a Jersey City hospital early Sunday morning after having been stabbed during a fight that reportedly involved a lot of people. His injuries were not life-threatening. Britt, the Tennessee Titans wide receiver, was with his brother when his brother got ...