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![49ers Nix Girl Scouts Stadium Sleepover In Favor Of A More Profitable Event [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/gbxjxh88qeuweppwjfvp.jpg)
49ers Nix Girl Scouts Stadium Sleepover In Favor Of A More Profitable Event [Update]
The San Francisco 49ers had an agreement with Girl Scout troops around Northern California: The girls who sold the most cookies would get to visit the team’s stadium in May, meet cheerleaders, and enjoy pizza and movies on the field. This week, the team reneged on the deal....

Arsenal Couldn't Score Yesterday Because Fraser Forster Turned Into A Brick Wall
From a simple glance at yesterday’s scoreline, you might think that Arsenal failing to beat Southampton at home would be evidence of Arsenal picking the worst time to pull an Arsenal—and you wouldn’t necessarily be wrong. However, the bulk of the credit for Southampton’s 0-0 result should fall on Sa...

The (Golden) Eagle Has Landed (In Tampa)
Monken turned the program around after they went from 12-2 to 0-12 in one season. Bummer for Southern Miss....

SMU, The Last Undefeated Team In College Basketball, Goes Down
Temple took down Larry Brown’s previously undefeated Southern Methodist Mustangs 89-80 this afternoon in Philly. The game was originally scheduled to take place yesterday, but the blizzard forced it to today. Backup guard Devin Coleman was a perfect 7-for-7 from three and 8-for-8 from the field for ...

Weather Geek Mike Trout Joins Jim Cantore To Report On Blizzard
When Mike Trout isn’t mashing home runs or robbing them, he’s at home doing precise meteorological measurements; the self-described “weather geek” wants to be a stormchaser someday, and The Weather Channel’s Jim Cantore had Trout on this morning to report on conditions in his hometown of Millville, ...

Premier League Dominates Ranking Of World's Richest Soccer Clubs
Everyone knows that the Premier League is the money-gettingest league in the world, but it’s always helpful to see that laid out in stark detail. Thankfully, we have the new Deloitte Football Money League report, which ranks the world’s clubs by revenue, to do that for us. Sure enough, the EPL is he...

Russell Crowe Apologizes For Berating One Of His Rugby Players
Russell Crowe is the co-owner of the South Sydney Rabbitohs, a professional Australian rugby team, and things apparently got a little out of hand when Crowe invited the boys over for a night of boozing and team-building. ...

James Ward-Prowse Opens Scoring With Free Kick Stunner
Southampton took an early 1-0 lead on West Brom with a fifth-minute free kick from James Ward-Prowse that Boaz Myhill found absolutely unstoppable....

Cyclist Eats It Straight Into Barrier, Still Wins
This here’s Wout Van Aert, one of cyclocross’ biggest rising stars. He’s only 21, but he won the Belgian nationals today (cyclocross is to Belgium as, say, football is to America, so that’s a huge deal) and he took 2015's Superprestige competition....

Cuco Martina Stuns Arsenal With Blistering Strike
Southampton took a 1-0 lead on Arsenal in tonight’s late EPL match thanks to a hammer strike from Cuco Martina, who beat Petr Cech with this stunner that elicited the proper response from Andrés Cantor:...

The Best Things We Watched In 2015
Here, now, are our favorite films, TV shows, and pieces of internet ephemera of the year. Thank you for your time....

Dalton Prout Given Double-Minor, So One Minute For Each Cross-Check
Columbus Blue Jackets defenseman Dalton Prout let loose this vicious series of cross-checks late in the third period of a 5-2 loss to the Penguins. This is no inadvertent penalty or being a bit overzealous; it’s straight-up assault on Sergei Plotnikov....

Kickboxer Gets Knocked Out, Turns Into One Of The Three Stooges
We don’t know much about when or where this video was originally filmed, nor who it depicts, but we do know that this guy’s reaction to getting knocked clean out is absolutely hysterical. If fighting doesn’t work out for him, he probably can fall back on a career in hurdling....

![Happy Browns Fan Lets The Dogs Out, Also His Dick And Butt [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/lkqd1jyup5qkwdyjm72y.jpg)
Happy Browns Fan Lets The Dogs Out, Also His Dick And Butt [NSFW]
Look, man, it’s been a rough few decades for Browns fans, so it’s not all that surprising to see one get a little too lit after a rare victory....

Oh God, The AFC South Is So Bad, The Jaguars Could Win The Division
The AFC South is a carnival of incompetence and bad luck; the Indianapolis Colts began the year thinking they were a Super Bowl contender only to collapse with vigor; the Houston Texans have lost all their offensive players worth a damn and their talisman has a broken paw; the Titans are cleaning ho...

Bournemouth Score On Manchester United Directly From A Corner Kick
Manchester United is starting a bunch of inexperienced youngsters against Bournemouth today due to a series of injuries and suspensions. The mighty Cherries took advantage and scored just two minutes in thanks to a wonderful Junior Stanislas Olimpico and a helpful gust of wind....

Scrappy Underdogs Chelsea Show Heart, But Can't Beat Bournemouth
15th place Chelsea almost scored an upset against fellow lower table side Bournemouth today, but they couldn’t handle Glenn Murray on this corner. They are a mere three points out of the relegation zone, but this ramshackle band of underdogs looks like they’ll be able to stay up and ensure safety. W...

How To Say Goodbye To City Life
There may come a time in your life when, through choice or necessity, you will find yourself abandoning the metropolis you’ve called home for however many years. The bars you’ve been kicked out of, the parks you’ve surreptitiously pissed in, the various former workplaces where you once spent so much...
