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I Hung Out With Dukebags And Discovered The Greatest Value In The History Of Drunken Eating
I went down to the Research Triangle area of North Carolina last week. This is the area comprising Durham, Chapel Hill, and Raleigh. It's a very pretty area, surrounded by tall trees that are so perfectly spaced out it's almost as if the entire forest were landscaped. And the forest floor itself is ...

Youth Hockey Coach Makes Sick Yo Momma Burn
A minor hockey coach in Timmons, Ontario, was suspended after making some inappropriate comments about a 12-year-old player's mother during a pregame locker room speech. Now, this is definitely not okay, and it was surely mortifying for a young child to be bullied by an authority figure. That said, ...

Youth Basketball Coach Tells Kid Wrong Time To Show Up For Playoff Game Because He Stinks
Here's a messed up story and proof that those steak heads you went to high school with never, ever change. From a tipster who wishes to remain anonymous, a youth basketball league in California is about to kick off its playoff season next week and sent out a friendly reminder to coaches notifying t...

Feds In South Carolina Using Same Law That Put Mike Vick Behind Bars To Target Cockfighters
Six South Carolina residents find themselves involved in a constitutional law dispute all thanks to cockfighting. The individuals were convicted on federal charges related to cockfighting. Under South Carolina law such a conviction is merely a misdemeanor, carrying a maximum sentence of one year in...

Somebody Let Dirk Nowitzki Have The Microphone Again, And The Results Were <em>Äußerst Komisch</em>
Dirk Nowitzki's occasional stints as a TV analyst have led to catchphrases including "Take Dat With You," which became an unofficial rallying cry for last year's Mavericks. Dirk's grunts and ejaculations are funny, for sure—even if sometimes in a "does my breath smell funny" or "does my car sound ...

Edson Barboza's <em>Roadhouse</em>-Style Face-Kick Knockout Is Even Better When Slowed Down 500%
We didn't have time to give this nasty wheel kick KO the proper treatment last night, but here's Edson Barboza's heel applied to Terry Etim's face in extreme slow motion, from Saturday's UFC 142 lightweight event....

Edson Barboza Brutally Knocked Out Terry Etim With A Kick To The Face
While the New England Patriots are metaphorically kicking the crap out of the Denver Broncos, this knock-out wheel kick from Edson Barboza provides legitimate reason to check Terry Etim's pants. It was a blow that might ruin the adjective "lightweight" forever....

Does Anybody Know A Nine-Year-Old Power-Hitting Catcher In Raleigh?
I'm not sure why I'm so taken by this Craigslist posting, sent in by a pair of readers, seeking a very specific sort of ballplayer for a Wake County (N.C.) 9U travel team. Maybe it's because all the nine-year-olds we remember from little league swung as hard as they could on every pitch, and because...

Here's How To Snap Your Femur Playing Football
SMU's Jared Williams suffered a break of the largest bone in the human body in the fourth quarter of the Mustangs' BBVA Compass Bowl matchup against Pitt. The snap was loud enough to be heard on the sidelines (and, thus, ESPN's field mics) and left Pitt defender Andrew Taglianetti emotionally deva...

Yes, The Yeti Is Real, And It's A Fan Of The South Carolina Gamecocks
Your morning roundup for Jan. 3, the day we learned cops don't like giving weed back. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Capital One Bowl Brought Us The Rare Defensive PAT
You won't see this play in the No Fun League (defenses cannot score on a PAT in the NFL) but college football still permits the glory that is sprinting the length of the field with a measly two points as reward, an opportunity of which South Carolina's Stephon Gilmore made the most....

Johny Hendricks Knocked Out Jon Fitch In Ten Seconds
Actually, it was more like one second, as it was a single punch from Johny Hendricks that took Jon Fitch out of their welterweight match at UFC 141....

About That Whole "Good Will Toward Men" Thing
It's Christmas Eve, but there was no peace on Earth in (apparently) heathen Hawai'i, as the first half of the Sheraton Hawai'i Bowl got ugly with a brief bit of violence after Southern Miss scored a touchdown to take a lead into the locker room. [ESPN]...

Case Dismissed Against Mike Milbury
A court magistrate found there was no probable cause to pursue charges against Mike Milbury for his role in an on-ice altercation in his son's hockey game two weeks ago. Milbury had been accused of assaulting a 12-year-old during a fight with Milbury's son during an outdoor game in Brookline, Mass. ...

Not This Shit Again: Now It's South Carolina Football Players Promoting A Nightclub Party
Two days after we brought you the story of UNC receiver Dwight Jones's now-cancelled birthday party at a North Carolina nightclub—a party that rendered Jones ineligible, briefly—here's another fiesta being promoted on Facebook using the likenesses of some college athletes—this time from South Carol...

Arizona State And Southern Miss Rumble After This All-Time Classic Sucker Punch
The resulting fight in Tempe wasn't on the scale of the one between Xavier and Cincinnati last week, but the punch that sparked it is so brutally dirty it's almost a work of art. After getting a forearm to the jaw from USM's Torye Pelham, ASU's Muscovite center Ruslan Pateev returns the favor with...

South Carolina Forward Malik Cooke's Eye Injury Was Grotesque, So Here's Multiple Angles Of Him Suffering It
In a game that's already seen the departure of Ohio State star Jared Sullinger (off to the hospital for testing) the South Carolina Gamecocks haven't avoided the injury bug either, as Malik Cooke suffered a nasty-looking cut above his left eye (courtesy a Buckeye elbow) that required locker room s...

Parents: Mike Milbury Shook, Screamed At 12-Year-Old Player
Last Friday evening, two Boston-area youth hockey teams got together for their own Winter Classic, to be held outside at the Anderson Rink in Brookline. It was going to be a good time: an exhibition game between the Boch Blazers and the Boston Junior Blackhawks, followed by a family skate and a pizz...
![Mike Milbury Charged With Assaulting 12-Year-Old Hockey Player [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4q08dv0hivjpg.jpg)
Mike Milbury Charged With Assaulting 12-Year-Old Hockey Player [UPDATE]
Milbury, the outspoken TV analyst and former Bruins defenseman who has vehemently protested the "pansification" of hockey, is also a coach of a youth hockey team in Massachusetts. At a game in Brookline, last week, something happened. Details are scarce, but WCVB in Boston is reporting that Milbury ...

Here's An Adorably Vicious Hockey Brawl With 9-Year-Olds
Making the rounds today is this pro-quality brawl between two Kazakhstani U10 teams. If the biased YouTube uploader is to be believed, it began after the winning Astana team (in white) kept trash talking during the handshake line. What's Kazakh for "I can't believe I shook this guy's frigging hand...