out Page 152 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Five Bullshit Things About David Stern's Bullshit Veto Of The Chris Paul Trade
David Stern's veto of the Chris Paul trade contains so much kaleidoscoping bullshit that it seems more than worth it to lay out just some of the bullshit: ...
Shane Battier Announces He's Joining The Heat Via Jimmy Buffett Quote
If you were looking for a fresh reason to hate on the Miami Heat this year, Shane Battier's come through for you. The Grizzlies forward announced on Twitter this morning that he's joining the Heat. Somehow, a Jimmy Buffett reference made it into the mix. That alone almost makes this more damning tha...
How A Heisman Finalist's Penis Ended Up On The Internet
We already knew LSU cornerback Tyrann Mathieu was a pro. Forget his onfield play; dude already had an awesome nickname and a failed drug test. But yesterday turned out to be the ultimate rite of passage for Mathieu, as he knocked two major accomplishments off his star athlete checklist in one day: g...
Substation Fire In Clemson Causes Power Outage During ACC Championship Game
Clemson City Police reported that over 10,000 customers of Duke Energy in Pickens County lost power last night due to a fire. No word if Virginia Tech is a customer....
Allow This Cheerleader To Tell You Exactly How South Florida Did Last Night Against West Virginia
Your morning roundup for Dec. 2, the day we learned we've been hanging around a lot longer than we thought. H/T to Zach for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
ESPN Keeps Trying To Pretend It Cared About The Bernie Fine Molestation Allegations All Along
ESPN's Mark Schwarz, the reporter who spent eight years not reporting the story that a Syracuse ballboy had accused assistant coach Bernie Fine of molesting him, has now taken his own turn in the spotlight on the ESPN Rationalization Tour by talking to Sports Illustrated's Richard Deitsch. As Deitsc...
Salty Clemson Fan Calls The Gamecocks The "Short Bus Of The SEC East," Admits He'd Eat Squirrel
According to tipster Matthew W., "This guy 'Clemson Tom' has been making videos for a few weeks now. The Clemson nation has been all over this guy. His latest video he prank calls, Connor Shaw, starting QB for South Carolina. This guys also in past videos prank calls head coaches, Frat houses, GT ...
Deron Williams's Turkish Club Retired His Jersey After 15 Games
Let it be known that no one shall ever be issued the number 8 jersey for Beşiktaş, in tribute to the weeks and weeks of service of one Deron Williams. Hailed as a conquering hero when he arrived this summer, the end of the NBA lockout forced Williams to bid farewell to his Turkish team. He remains...
Big Baby Davis Got Arts-And-Crafty During The Lockout
In this video produced by Glen Davis's marketing company (and via TBJ) we get a look at how Big Baby spent his time off. Knitting, popsicle stick construction, model kits and the like. It's clever, but we're more taken with the rubber-faced Davis's reaction shots. He has a future in silent movies....
How The Internet May Have Saved The NFL And NBA
Before we get to the Funbag, just a reminder that I'll be reading in Milwaukee tomorrow night at 7 p.m. at Boswell Book Company, followed by all of us going out and getting drunk on cheddar-flavored ale. Then, on Thursday night, I'll be in Chicago reading at the Book Cellar at 7 p.m. Come one, come ...
Eight Years Later, ESPN Reports What It Knows About The Claims Against Bernie Fine
"I'm not Joe Paterno, I knew nothing," Bob Ley said on ESPN's Outside the Lines. Ley was quoting Syracuse basketball coach Jim Boeheim, who was responding to the investigation of sex-abuse claims against assistant coach Bernie Fine....
Clearly This Woman Loves The 'Cocks
South Carolina's about to win the Palmetto Bowl in big fashion over Clemson, and here's how one Gamecocks fan reacted to DeVonte Holloman intercepting a Clemson pass to help lock up the victory. I can only imagine how she'll celebrate....
NBA Owners And Players Reach Tentative Labor Deal, Season To Start On Christmas Day
"All I feel right now is 'finally'" said a borderline speechless Dwyane Wade. Barring something crazy, the league plans on opening training camp on December 9th and kicking off a 66-game schedule Christmas Day with the Boston Celtics at New York Knicks, the Miami Heat at Dallas Mavericks, and the Ch...
Astronaut Plays One-Man Baseball Game In Space
Satoshi Furukawa, an astronaut with the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency, played a one-man game of baseball at the International Space Station a few weeks ago. He only managed two outs, but to be fair, he was pitching, batting, and fielding in outer space at the time....
The Shit Replacing Basketball On TV Tonight: Three Hours of <i>America's Funniest Home Videos</i>
The NBA lockout is nearing the end of its fifth month, and there is no end in sight. This sucks for players, who will miss paychecks; it sucks for fans, who will be forced to find other ways to occupy their winter nights; it really, really sucks for TV networks that carry local NBA games and now hav...
Rajon Rondo Goes Off The Forehead To Rudy Gay
A month ago, he was rocking the no-look over-the-shoulder lob. Now, with this off-the-forehead alley-oop over the weekend, Rondo has cemented himself as the highlightiest player of the lockout....
<em>South Park</em> Is Already Doing Penn State Jokes
Too soon? [WWTDD]...
Remember: This NFL Season Could Have Been David Sterned
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
LeBron Misses Two Jumpers, Feels Bad, Dunks On A Helpless Child Instead
Your morning roundup for Nov. 17, the day we learned there are children in China who love school, a lot. Video courtesy Hoops Fix, via Cosby Sweaters. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Instead Of Watching Basketball, Let's Read One Of The NBA Players' Antitrust Lawsuits
Two separate groups representing NBA players filed antitrust lawsuits against the NBA yesterday—one, filed by the trade association's carefully selected legal team in California, has five plaintiffs including Carmelo Anthony and Kevin Durant; the other names players Ben Gordon, Anthony Tolliver, Der...