out Page 153 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Monster.com For Locked-Out Basketball Players
Lots of hoopsters will spend the lockout overseas—we told you about six-foot-nine human cannoli Brian Scalabrine, who is wrecking the Italian league, and Nets guard Deron Williams, who'll be hanging in Turkey. But there are others who don't have the immediate name recognition of Scal and Deron, and ...

Rajon Rondo Delivers The Realest Analysis Of The NBA Lockout Yet
"It's just boring." [Kentucky Kernel]...

Brian Scalabrine Is His Team's Second-Leading Scorer In Italy
Brian Scalabrine is one of those NBA players that we all delight in calling a "role player," even if his role was never particularly valuable. In Boston, his role was to occasionally come in to fall on a loose ball and get praised for his hustle, but mostly it was to delight all of the white kids ...

How Would Isiah Thomas Solve The Lockout? He's Glad You Asked
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Isiah, who's driven into the ground everything he's ever touched, has advice for both owner ...

Breaking: Delonte West Is Currently Pushing His Broken-Down Ford Bronco To The Gas Station
May the resumption of basketball never trouble the childlike glee with which Delonte West goes about his business. After spending $3,000 on a 1994 white Ford Bronco ("OJ Style"), West's new purchase broke down before he could even get it inspected. He's now pushing it down the road, and it looks lik...

Brandon Jennings Needs A Refresher In Oblate Spheroids And Lockout Logic
If there was one thing that my high school science teachers taught me, it was that I should immediately lose any delusions about ever becoming a doctor, or doing anything related to memorization or numbers or earth science ever—and I thank them for that. But I think somewhere along the way, I did le...

Watch Lionel Messi Fail To Convert A Game-Winning Penalty Kick
"The reason [Frederic] Kanoute got so worked up was that after Sevilla worked so hard to hold Barca scoreless for 90 minutes, they were awarded a very soft penalty when Andres Iniesta went down in the box. Kanoute earned his first booking when he knocked the ball off the penalty spot as Lionel Mes...

Raja Bell: David Stern "Rules With An Iron Fist"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Raja Bell spits truth....

Michael Beasley's Lockout Image Rehab Includes Ballet Lessons
Michael Beasley is one of the few NBA players who might actually manage to be more interesting when he's not playing professional basketball. Since the NBA lockout began, he's been cited for speeding and for marijuana possession, and he "mushed" a heckler during a game at Dyckman Park in August. Thi...

The NBA Keeps Lying About Competitive Balance
If there's one thing to know about management's position in the lockout, it's this: The competitive balance issue isn't about competitive balance. It's about extracting money from the players' pockets and giving it to the owners. Remember that. Cross-stich it onto a decorative throw pillow. Print it...

Idiot Utah Sports Columnist More Or Less Calls Amar'e Stoudemire A Dumb Negro
Doug Robinson, the resident paste-eating troglodyte at the Deseret News, has gone and written a truly remarkable column this week....

David Stern Called In Sick To The NBA Negotiations Today
David Stern has been working late nights this week, as the NBA negotiations with federal mediator George Cohen have stretched into 15- and 16-hour days. The commish is beleaguered and tired and now he has the flu. Deputy commissioner Adam Silver told the press today that Stern would be "an active ...

Bryant Gumbel Drops One Little Plantation Metaphor, And Everybody Loses Their Shit
You'll notice that Bryant Gumbel never once used the s-word in his criticism of David Stern last night. His extended analogy called the players "hired hands," which ought to put the lie to any suggestion that actual, literal slavery was being evoked. That hasn't stopped the usual backlash that comes...

Memphis Could Sue The NBA If It Doesn't Get Its Shit Together
In America, if you're not getting what you need quickly enough, there is always a simple back-up plan available: go to court, tie everything up in paperwork and bureaucracy, and end up with a settlement. It's almost one of our golden rules. And so it's almost a surprise that, with lockouts straining...

Here's Video Of Bryant Gumbel Calling David Stern A "Modern Plantation Overseer" On HBO's Real Sports Last Night
"His moves are intended to do little more than show how he's the one keeping the hired hands in their place." [The Basketball Jones, via Pro Basketball Talk]...

When I Dance They Call Me Kirilenko
CSKA Moscow, Andrei Kirilenko's new professional team in Russia, had its Media Day recently. Naturally, this involved the players breaking into three groups and dancing to Muzak and outdated pop songs on a stage in a giant banquet hall somewhere in Moscow....

The Theme Of Last Night's NLCS Game Was Set When Jerry Hairston Got Bucknered At Third
Your morning roundup for Oct. 15, the day we totally realized that Tums commercial with a randy corn dog is really a work of dong-involved artistry. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Local Girl Scouts Will Have A Pajama Party At Cowboys Stadium, Which Is Apparently Different From A Tony Romo Start
Tipster Patrick sends along notice that there will be the first ever PJ party on the Cowboys Stadium field this evening, beginning at 6 p.m. Dallas time....

David Stern's "Gut" Is Ruining Christmas For Everyone
The games that you will probably not be watching on Christmas this year are Celtics-Knicks, Heat-Mavs, and Bulls-Lakers, because even though it is only mid-October, the NBA lockout has already ruined Christmas for that small group of people for whom Christmas is about watching three over-hyped NBA g...

Today In Pollyannaish Things Written About The NBA Lockout: Only Michael Jordan Can Save Us
Here is the thing that's sometimes hard to grasp when games are being canceled and no end is in sight: everybody wants the lockout to end. No one is actively being greedy or selfish just because they hate you and don't want you to watch basketball. Both sides have demands and one side or both are go...