out Page 187 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Philly Car-Tip Victim Inches Closer to Leaving Public Transportation Behind
Many unfortunate car owners in the Philadelphia area were impacted by the chaos that invaded Broad Street soon after the Philadelphia Phillies (WFC) won the World Series that night. One man, Ted Passon, of Philadelphia, whose car was recklessly flipped over during the Broad Street celebration at 1:3...

College Football Preview: The Jort-Out Is Coming
In a move reminiscent of the final rap contest between Rabbit and Papa Doc, Florida fans have embraced their greatest flaw: the you wear jorts insult that Georgia fans have been hurling for the better part of a decade. Yep, there's an organized movement afoot for Gator fans to show up in jorts for t...

Thursday Night Preview: #23 South Florida at Cincinnati
In keeping with the theme of the day, once the ESPN Thursday night programmer took a shit and put it into his ESPN issued lunchbox (the graphic on the lunchbox was Stuart Scott's lazy eye and the eye followed you when it moved.)Anyway, then the ESPN programmer collected Lou Holtz's spit and mixed i...

College Football Preview: Check Your Messages Knowshon
LSU fans aren't only the most insane in college football, they're also the most resourceful. Perhaps insanity and resourcefulness aren't conflicting traits after all. Why do I say this? Because for the second year in a row LSU fans have made the cell phone lives of their opponents miserable. You'll ...

Wait ... Is That The Tampa Bay Rays Music?!
What you missed while witnessing nature's classic battle between deer and poodle ... • World Series: Rays win 4-2 as it becomes inevitable this thing is going 7 games ... [NBCSports] • College football: (Noel) Devine intervention ... West Virginia comeback beats Auburn [USA Today] • NBA: That'll be ...

What Are The Odds That It Was A Shirtless Matthew McConaghey Who Took This Picture?
What you missed while filling your pants with delicious shrimp ... • World Series: Less cowbell, more Lidge ... Phillies take 1-0 series lead. [NBCSports] • NFL: Is Mike Holmgren headed to the 49ers? Well, he is this weekend, anyway. [USA Today] • NHL: Flyers fans thrilled with Roenick's return; Fly...

Um ... Go, Vikings?
What you missed while contemplating other uses for your banana holder ... • NBA: Kobe Bryant's season with the Lakers has started swimmingly [NBCSports] • NFL: Cowboys fans to get another generous helping of Tony Romo on Sunday [USA Today] • NHL: Hey, let's all get a Barry Melrose Mohawk! [The Sport...

So What's The Deal With That Tacklin' SEC Ref?
The most frequently submitted tip over the last 48 hours or so is the YouTube clip of that lunatic umpire who lowered the boom on South Carolina quarterback Stephen Garcia as he tried to run for a touchdown against LSU. For a good while, I didn't even believe it was real. It had to be one of those f...

Some Good, Old Fashioned Rooting Section Fail
Note to Kentucky fans: For best results, grasp sign gingerly with fingertips, not entire hand. Now your oh-so-clever double entendre has taken on an entirely different meaning. Hope your mom wasn't watching. And speaking of crazy college kids spelling out naughty things with their hands, check out t...

Sarah Palin Booed At Flyers Game, Did Not Take Battery To The Face
The GOP's vice presidential nominee was in the hizzy for the Flyers' opener last night. The chorus of boos that began as soon as she was seen were blasted out by some loud music and (some have said) artificial crowd noise. Palin walked onto the ice before the start of the game to help drop the cerem...

Tampa Bay Rays Still Have A Bit Of Youthful Arrogance
So much for the idea that these young Rays are made up of honest-to-goodness, hardworking, gritty players just happy to be included in the postseason festivities for the first time; they got some swagger in them. The above t-shirt isn't some fly-by-night homemade operation either, it's an MLB-sanct...

Peyton Manning Kind Of Awkward In A Public Setting
Let's all get together and laugh at a famous person acting like a real human being! To be fair, it's not really Peyton's fault. The only thing more awkward than watching someone rock out at a concert is watching a guy's face while he masturbates to Internet porn — the spastic motions, the furrowed ...

'Red River Shootout' Should Moisten Panties Just Fine
Those of you looking for that blatantly marquee matchup today are in for something special: The Big XII will take center stage today with the 103rd renewal of the Red River Shootout. Of course, now they've given the game this miffy, effeminate name of the "Red River Rivalry," which elicits the same ...

Thursday Night Football Previews: Pitt at South Florida; Oregon State at Utah
Thursday night college football arrives with a televised double-header. ESPN brings us Pittsburgh at South Florida and something called the Versus Network brings us Oregon State at Utah. Like me you have no idea if you have actually have Versus and if demanded on pain of death to give ten guesses a...

You Can Do Anything You Put Your Mind To, Except Drive A Car
Here comes a story about a kid in West Texas that plays youth football. But what makes Dillon Collier of the Greenwood Panthers so special? He's blind. Oh, and he has a radio in his helmet. That's pretty cool. ...

Nation Stunned By Brazen Kidnapping Of Keggy The Dartmouth Keg
Order has only begun to be be restored to the peaceful tree-lined streets of Hanover, New Hampshire today after the shocking kidnapping ordeal suffered by Keggy, the popular Dartmouth College beer keg. The quasi-official school mascot was ruthlessly abducted and held for ransom over the weekend, and...

The Matt Millen Era Mercifully Ends In Detroit
It appears Bill Ford Jr.'s comments from a couple days ago were either not-so-subtle foreshadowing or they were taken under consideration by those who do have authority, because according to Fox Sports' Jay Glazer, Matt Millen, the Detroit Lions oft-criticized president and general manager, is offic...

Bob Griese Sets A New Standard for Announcing Objectivity By Waving Purdue Flag During "Shout"
ESPN/ABC assigned Bob Griese, a Purdue alum, to call the Purdue-Oregon game this weekend. On Friday we posted that Erin Andrews felt the need to defend her objectivity after the Florida-Miami game. Well, it should be interesting to see what the response is from Bob Griese after he took a Purdue fla...

College Football Roundup: Charlie Weis Is Broken
After a week of piddling interest, college football returned with a vengeance. Before I get rolling with 11 observations on the weekend that was, let me take this opportunity to get this before the jump. Our fearless editor is going to have a full-report from OSU-USC, but let's just say it now, can...

South Carolina Prepares for Georgia With a Lunch-Time Brawl At the Student Union
Oh, those wacky, dedicated football players. The fight took place at Russell House, which despite it's quaint evocation of an antebellum bed and breakfast, is evidently a main dining hall on campus. Five football players scrapped with five "non-students," who were evidently impressed by the Zagat Gu...