out Page 193 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is Pretty Much Why God Invented Sports Bars, We Reckon
We don't know what hell like, or who exactly is there (aside from all the sports agents). But here's a pretty good guess: There's nonstop karaoke, the only beverage is Tabasco sauce and at the top of the hour everyone gets hit in the face with a custard pie. That sounds about right. But at a sports ...
About Last Night
What you missed while convincing Tug to let you see The Pin ... • College basketball: A.J. Price, Huskies tame Runnin' Bulldogs. • MLB: Everything's Jake ... Peavy wins NL Cy Young Award. • College football: Duck Soup ... no national title for Oregon. Aflac!...
About Last Night
What you missed while cooking up a batch of delicious Jesuscakes ... • NBA: Dwyane Wade is back ... just in time to watch Miami lose to Seattle at home. Sonics 104, Heat 95. • College basketball: This would have been a great upset. Oh well. North Carolina 72, Davidson 68. • NHL: No 500th win for you...
Hmm, Who Would Win A Fight Between Herschel And Spurrier?
There's not much more ironically amusing than Steve Spurrier lecturing someone else on sportsmanship, but he's been going after Georgia recently for their big touchdown-pile-on a few weeks ago. He said he'd have sent in a third-string Gamecock to start a fight, therefore getting a bunch of Bulldogs ...
About Last Night
What you missed while running from the soccer goalposts of death ... • College women's basketball: Lipscomb beats Fisk 123-22. Bill Belichick nods approvingly. • NBA: Heat lose again; Pat Riley threatens to suit up. It couldn't hurt. • NHL: Ducks win latest chapter of the Freeway Series....
About Last Night
What you missed while fleeing the otter invasion ... • NFL: Steve Young on the 49ers: "There is no oxygen in the tent." Seattle 24, San Francisco 0. • NBA: My pair beats your king. A.I., J.R. lead Nuggets over Cavaliers, 122-100. • College basketball: The Hoosiers may have something in Eric Gordon....
About Last Night
What you missed while fighting the squirrel menace ... • NFL: A 29-yard field goal attempt ... that's basically like an extra point, right? Chargers 23, Colts 21. • NBA: Heat get first win! Thanks, Knicks! • NHL: Avalanche, Stastny just keep rolling along....
Yao Vs. Yi: 250 Million Chinese Viewers Can't Be Wrong
It's a fine Friday afternoon as Awful Announcing asks the musical question, is anyone aware that the largest television audience ever for a sporting event could take place tonight? That's right folks, it's Yi vs. Yao! From the Houston Chronicle:...
Who Will Be Playboy's Sexiest Sportscaster In 2008?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Feel free to email him your thoughts....
About Last Night
What you missed while getting pizza rolls for birthday month ... • College football: Despite three fumbles, Pat White keeps West Virginia in bowl championship picture. • NHL: The great Eric Lindros retires. Wait, he was still playing? • NBA: Bulls finally realize that the regular season has started....
About Last Night
What you missed while stomping the yard ... • NBA: Many of us are not ready to live in a world where the Knicks are good. • NHL: Eaves of Destruction ... Senators 5, Maple Leafs 1. • College basketball: The Oilers do not fear the Big Ten! Findlay 70, Ohio State 68....
About Last Night
What you missed because you didn't have a good excuse to miss work ... • NBA: Hey, perhaps the Mavericks aren't finished after all. Dallas 107, Houston 98. • NFL: Big Ben approves of throwback unis. Steelers 38, Ravens 7. • College basketball: Walking in Memphis ... Rose debut is sweet indeed....
About Last Night
What you missed while walking your Omen devil hound ... • NFL: Yes, they are booing you, Terrell. But they are gentle boos ... boos of love. Cowboys 38, Eagles 17. • NBA: Pistons are back at full strength; look out, world. • NASCAR: Jimmie Johnson wins at Texas Motor Speedway, takes Nextel Cup lead,...
About Last Night...
What you missed, thanks in part to those damn singing condoms... • NCAA Football: Arizona State travels up to Oregon, dies of dysentery. • NASCAR: Carl Edwards overcomes adversity, rookie drivers to win NASCAR's minor league circuit. • MLS: New York England Revolution tax New York Red Bulls without ...
About Last Night ...
♬ And if you say to me tomorrow ♬ oh what fun it all would be ♬ then what's to stop us pretty baby ♬ but what you missed and what should never be ♬ • NHL: Zednik scores twice, but only once in our heart, in Panthers 4-2 in over Sabres. • NBA: For once, Jason Kidd is the humiliated one, in Nets 106-6...
So There's This Big Soccer Game Today, I'm Told
Okay. Take a look to the east. See the sun rising? Okay, look at the little blotch of land right below it. Don't see it? Here, use my binoculars. Hmm... you still don't see it? Okay, well look at this Mercator projection map. Right there. England. Located somewhere in that country, probably in that ...
Greetings, Spinheads
Hello again, faceless internet cro-mags. A.J. Daulerio here to guide you through this glorious autumn day full of dead leaves on the dirty ground and sweaters stuffed with cold tits. Hopefully, I'll play a small part in making your day of corporate drudgery fly by as quickly as possible so you can a...
About Last Night
What you missed while getting Jack Bauer arrested ... • College football: Sean Glennon beats Georgia Tech while wearing one of their own jerseys. • NBA: Our new Houston Rockets overlords have installed Tracy McGrady as their king ... • NHL: Henrik Zetterberg beats out Flames to lead Red Wings to sev...