out Page 204 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Maybe Next Time He'll Use Mapquest
Welcome to Long Island; a primitive, lawless land where roving gangs of youth sports parents will take you down like a wounded wildebeast. Snake Pliskin won't even go in there anymore. Last week we told you of the inspiring story of two mob-connected brothers who beat up a Little League coach for be...

About Last Night
What you missed while attempting to herd mice ... • NBA: If the Sonics are 1-5 with Durant, what are they going to look like without him? • NHL: Smyth happens ... Avalanche beat Oilers 5-2, you rejoice or despair, as warranted. • Soccer: Walter Samuel's goal gives Inter Milan 2-1 win at CSKA Moscow....

About Last Night
What you missed while recovering from paintball injuries ... • NFL: Hey, the Colts have a defense too. Indianapolis 29, Jacksonviille 7. • NBA: Knicks' exhibition win over Celtics probably won't be repeated any time soon. New York 94, Boston 87. • Soccer: Whose your daddy? Not Greg Ryan, who is out ...

About Last Night
What you missed while hiding from assassination hit squad monkey gangs ... • MLB: Red Sox win AL pennant, Manny says "Wait 'till next year." Boston 11, Cleveland 2. • NFL: Jason strikes when you least expect it; he cannot be killed. Broncos 31, Steelers 28. • We don't care what you say; they'll alwa...

About Last Night...
What you missed while trying to win that lifetime of free beer prize ... • MLB: Oh yeah? More like Lost-o Carmona! Guffaw! • College Football: I'd say that Auburn ought to do more thinking and Les Miles. • Hey look, Boston! Gagne comes through in extras! Oh ... the hockey one....


About Last Night ...
What you missed while dodging falling, flaming squirrels... • MLB: Joe Torre won't be managing the Royals, who hire Trey Hillman. • College Football: UConn, yes you, takes down Louisville, 21-17. • NHL: Coats blank Swords....

Who's The Next Person To Get Banned From Monday Night Football
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

About Last Night
What you missed while fumigating your nuts ... • MLB: Despite Manny calling time out when his team didn't have any left, Red Sox stay alive in ALCS. • College football: You've got some red on you ... Rutgers 30, South Florida 27. • Soccer: David Beckham upstaged by the offensive stylings of Jozy Alt...

About Last Night
What you missed while wondering if it was a Phillips or a flat-head ... • NHL: The St. Louis Blues have the man-advantage ... to our hearts. Blues 3, Blackhawks 1. • NBA: Garnett and Allen make Celtics debuts as Knicks play the part of the Washington Generals. • Golf: Angel Cabrera pulls off Testave...

About Last Night
What you missed while taking care of business, Scarlet Knights style ... • MLB: Manny flap helps Byrd, Indians to 3-1 ALCS lead. • NHL: No, Anze Kopitar is the real Purple Jesus! Kings 4, Wild 3. • NBA: Another day, another exhibition game flagrant foul ejection....


About Last Night
What you missed while flossing ... • MLB: God and John Denver do helicopter high-five, Rockies advance to World Series. • NFL: When the machines rise up and attempt to conquer mankind, Eli Manning shall lead us. Giants 31, Falcons 10. • NHL: We're relatively sure that the Ducks played on Monday, and...

About Last Night
What you missed while bravely striking out against Halloween and all it represents ... • NFL: Reggie is Mr. October ... Saints finally get a win, 28-17 over Schmohawks. • MLB: Rockies' 20-1 run have them one win from World Series. The 1907 Cubs are not impressed. • NHL: The Sakic Brand ... more good...

USC Seniors Are Not Smarter Than A Fifth Grader
Chris Washington is a senior at USC with a GPA of 3.50. And even though he had several of his fraternity brothers rooting him on in the front row during the game show Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? last night, he still seemed a bit confused. Below are a list of the questions that he got wrong:...

About Last Night
What you missed while finally taking sides in the classic dog vs. cat debate ... • MLB: All the right moves ... a little Tavares goodness goes a long way in Game 1. Rockies 5, Diamondbacks 1. • College football: Wake me when it's over ... Demon Deacons skin Florida State, 24-21. • NHL: Panthers veto...

About Last Night ...
Like time through the hourglass, so go the days of our lives ... • College football: Pitt pulls a Wannstedt, falls to Navy 48-45 in 2OT. • NHL: Price check! Register one! Canadiens 3, Penguins 2. • NBA: We welcome our new Celtics preseason overlords. Boston 92, Minnesota 81....