out Page 216 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to catch Ferris Bueller in the act ... • MLB: Division title brewing? Milwaukee 3, Washington 0. • NHL: Red Wings cause Sharks to go extinct, 2-0. • NBA: Second City ... Pistons clobber Bulls once again, 108-87....
About Last Night ...
What you missed when your dad forces you to go to the stripper party ... • NBA: Don't worry girls, it's just a scratch ... Steve will be at the dance tonight. Spurs 111, Suns 106. • NHL: Sabres send Rangers home. Take that, Bloomberg. • MLB: Welcome to the majors, Timmy. Phillies 8, Giants 5....
Poor Mario Got Strung Out On Mushrooms
So a rockin' sports Saturday morphed into a pretty lazy sports Sunday that was redeemed only recently by an excellent Spurs/Suns game that featured over 215 points and several gallons of Steve Nash's blood. The Spurs did hang on to take Game One....
About Last Night...
• NBA. Nets 98, Raptors 97. Our MVP and our Coach of the Year both failed to make it out of the first round. We need a new system. • MLB. Mets 5, Diamondbacks 3. Julio Franco broke Julio Franco's record for the oldest guy to ever hit a home run. Julio Franco is likely to do it again. • NHL. Sabres 2...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while taking a few spins through the nude car wash ... • MLB: Two reasons that Joe Torre's job is safe for now. • NBA: Goin' back, to Houston, Houston, Houston ... Andrei Kirilenko, Jazz force Game 7 with Rockets. • NHL: Just send us the bill ... Ducks beat Canucks in 2OT to advance....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while texting Roger Clemens ... • NBA: Suns finally administer that stake in the heart to Lakers. Phoenix 119, LA 110. • MLB: Josh Beckett closing in on team record held by ... Babe Ruth? Red Sox 6, Athletics 4. • NHL: The Devil And Daniel Heatley ... Senators take 3-1 lead on New Je...
Five Minutes With Jeremy Hotz
Introducing Standing Room Only, a new feature in which Deadspin associate editor Rick Chandler pulls a stand-up comedian off of the street, briefly interrogates him about sports in a dimly lit room, then sets him free. Today, it's Ottawa's own Jeremy Hotz....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while repeatedly dialing "3" and then wondering where the ambulance is ... • NBA: It ... is ... ALIVE! Nowitzki, of all people, leads Mavericks over Warriors in Game 5. • MLB: Phil Of The Future is injured — of course — in Yankees 10-1 win over Rangers. • NHL: Wait, this series is ti...
People Losing Their Life's Savings ... Live On NBC!
It's a logical idea whose time has obviously come: Televised golf wagering. In a move that could only be made by a network desperate after missing out on the Barbaro documentary, NBC is going to televise a full golf tournament made entirely of degenerate gamblers. And Fox is doing it too....
About Last Night
What you missed while betting it all on the Jets ... • NBA: Horry Up And Shoot ... Spurs go up 3-1 on Nuggets ... • MLB: Webb Gem ... Diamondbacks beat Dodgers 9-1 for sixth straight win. • Cheechoo ka choo, Mrs. Robinson ... Sharks take 2-1 series lead over Red Wings....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while stuck on the tarmac ... • NBA: Bulls beat Heat 92-79 to advance to ... oh no, Todd just had a heart attack! • We're three losses from Joe Torre returning to Yankee Stadium to find all of his crap out in the parking lot. Red Sox 7, Yankees 4. • NASCAR: What? Gordon won? That's s...
Think Twice Before Kicking Jimmy's Sorry Ass
If I did ever happen to find myself in a fight with Jimmy, he couldn't do anything to me worse than subject me to this woman's profane shrieking. Please, dude, can you stop whaling on Jimmy for a second, and Marty McSorley this broad?...
About Last Night...
• NBA Playoffs: Spurs 96, Nuggets 91. Manu Ginobili appears to be physically incapable of staying on his feet for longer than ten seconds at a time. • MLB: Yankees 3, Red Sox 1. Joe Torre might get to keep his job a little while longer. • NBA Playoffs: Jazz 98, Rockets 85. If you tried to identify t...
Will Ferrell Teaches Twinkie Protection Techniques
According to Sports by Brooks, this will be running at some point today on the NFL Network, which means that many of you will only see it here because you can't turn away from the intense beefcake appeal of Chris Berman. So enjoy it here....
About Last Night...
• Golden State 109, Dallas 91. The more Stephen Jackson appears on all of our televisions, the better off we'll all be. • Chicago 104, Miami 96. Can anyone guess where Shaquille O'Neal says his back is? That's right, it's against the wall. • MLB: Dodgers 6, Padres 5. On "Trevor Hoffman" night, there...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while fishing with Tony Soprano ... • NBA: Well, he was 30 short of 75 points, but Kobe, Lakers make it a series vs. Suns • MLB: Phil of the Future rocked in Yankees' debut, Blue Jays prevail 6-0. • NHL: The Great White Hope ... Sharks clamp down on Red Wings, 2-0....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while ... Sweet Fancy Moses! ... • NBA: Avery Johnson finally decides to supersize it, Mavericks 112, Warriors 99. • MLB: Sixteen strikeouts, down the drain! Arizona 3, San Diego 2. • NHL: Ha, take that, Bloomberg. Sabres 5, Rangers 2....
About Last Night ...
What you missed due to another troubling incident involving your superhero pants burrito ... • NBA: If Phil Jackson has any of those motivational tricks up his sleeve, now would be the time to roll those out we think. Suns 126, Lakers 98. • MLB: Hey look, Randy Johnson is back. Padres 10, Diamondbac...
Oh, That Ref Is Just Playing Hard To Get
On the list of things that you would never imagine being against the rules until someone actually does it, this would have to be pretty high up there....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while practicing your Iron Egg Skill ... • MLB: It's pretty bad for the Yankees when A-Rod hits two homers but can't upstage Rocco Baldelli. • NBA: Boring? With Rasheed Wallace and Hedo Turkoglu in the building? We think not. Pistons take 2-0 lead on Magic. • NHL: They're partying in...