over Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Demand More Overtimes
The best overtime game of the Stanley Cup Playoffs was the Denver-Portland game Friday night. All glory and honor to Blues-Stars Game 7 Tuesday night, which certainly did its best, combining multiple overtimes with the additional sparkle of not just sudden death but expulsion, but it remains the sil...
Betsy DeVos, Who Wants To Defund The Special Olympics, Smiles Dumbly, Gets Thrown Under The Bus, Then Lies<em></em>
Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos, who wanted to defund the Special Olympics and then “correct[ed] the record” by confirming that she indeed wanted to defund the Special Olympics, is having a tough week, but that seems deserved given that she wanted to defund the Special Olympics....
You Can't Get There From Here
“It’s not going to change a damn thing,” the President of the United States told an assemblage of news anchors at an off-the-record White House meeting some weeks ago. “But I’m still doing it.” To a certain extent, that groaning is just standard Trump shit—his signature all-caps triumphalism is bala...
Anthony Davis Latest To Exhibit Symptoms Of Shammgod Madness
Here’s the freshest from this NBA season’s bumper crop of Shammgod crossovers: this damn Anthony Davis, ensuring that the truly enormous are represented, too. This just isn’t right:...
Humiliating Faceplant Is Just The Beginning Of Jamal Murray's Sudden Basketball Death
The indignity doesn’t end with Jamal Murray getting dropped like a sack of dirt by a James Harden behind-the-back dribble. Oh no. It gets worse from there:...
The Government Shutdown Has Turned Yosemite National Park Into A Congested, Poop-Filled Mess
After the federal government shut down on Dec. 21, National Parks Service workers were furloughed, but Yosemite National Park did not close. In fact, it is currently more open than ever, with the $35 park access fee waived and entrance booths bearing a “Pass On Thru” sign. People are indeed passing ...
South Carolina Commit Zia Cooke Had An Incredibly Nasty 43-Point Game
Zia Cooke, a South Carolina commit and ESPN’s seventh-ranked prospect from the 2019 class, put on a show Saturday, dropping a career-high 43 points in the fifth game of her senior season. The highlight reel from the game featured pretty much everything you’d want from a high school mixtape: step-ba...
The Colts and Dolphins Turned It Over On Three Straight Plays
The Dolphins and Colts were cruising along, having a normal game, when they suddenly started to just give the ball to the other team....
What If The Eagles Just Stink?
PHILADELPHIA — It is a sad Monday morning here. Workers head to the office looking dejected. The birds aren’t chirping like they usually do. The Liberty Bell is cracked. The Eagles are 2-2....
Manchester United Fans Went Full Arsenal With This Fly-Over Banner
Manchester United are not having a great season so far. They’ve managed to earn just three points in their first three games, manager José Mourinho is reaching a breaking point, and Graeme Souness is getting the dog whistle out early....
How One Team Built A Dynasty—And Won $7 Million—In The Basketball Tournament
When Errick McCollum headed to the bank in August of 2015, he was mostly hoping that his check for nearly $100,000 would clear. He wasn’t broke or anything like destitute at the time—the older brother of Blazers star C.J. was, at the time, making a good living playing professional basketball in Chin...
Loris Karius Shit-Talked By Liverpool-Supporting Opponent After Latest Boner
Diehard Liverpool fan Ben Tollitt had the distinct pleasure of watching his beloved Pool Boys in person yesterday during a preseason friendly against Tranmere. In the match, the Reds’ beleaguered, error-prone keeper Loris Karius once again bungled a pretty routine save and gave up an easy goal. Toll...
Play-By-Play Man Calls The Destruction Of His Own Computer Like A True Pro
Roger Hoover is the play-by-play man for the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp, and during yesterday’s game against the Mobile BayBears, a foul ball zipped into the press box and wrecked Hoover’s computer. Hoover, keeping things professional, just sat there and relayed the action to listeners, describing th...
What It Meant To Be Young And Homeless In Old New York
This feature originally appeared as “The Young and the Homeless” in the September, 1987 issue of New York Woman, and appears here with the author’s permission....
The Hater's Guide To The 2018 World Cup
The World Cup: truly a tradition unlike any other, except I guess for the Olympics which it is kind of like in the sense that a bunch of people who only care about a thing every four years suddenly care about it so much. Most of the world, of course, cares about soccer a great deal all the time, but...
Authorities: Wife Of Pro Golfer Lucas Glover Charged With Battery After Attacking His Mother
Lucas Glover’s wife, Krista, was arrested in Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla., on Saturday night and charged with domestic battery and resisting an officer after she apparently struck Lucas and his mother, Hershey Hendley, according to the St. John’s Sheriff’s Office. Inmate records from the sheriff’s office...
Ireland Lose U-17 Euros Match To Netherlands After Keeper Is Sent Off In Middle Of Shootout
Controversy struck at the U-17 Euros today as Irish keeper James Corcoran earned his second yellow card of the match during the penalty shootout of a match that finished full time tied 1-1, leading to the Netherlands to claim the win....
Unaired <i>SNL</i> Sketch Savages LeBron’s Worthless Cavs Teammates<em></em>
Donald Glover and the jokers at Saturday Night Live cooked up this sketch about “the other Cavaliers” for yesterday’s episode, but for one reason or another it was cut from the final show, for time. I predict you will enjoy it, so long as you are not one of LeBron’s current teammates....
My Enemies In Nature, Ranked
It’s more or less springlike now, pending yet another cruel and absurd outbreak of The Eternal Winter of 2017-18. Here in my absurd forest dwelling, spring means that we are emerging, pallid and blinking, to plant new trees and azaleas, to try with ludicrous and doomed vanity to restore some mowable...
How Stories About Mundane Things Taking Over Locker Rooms Took Over Sports Media<em></em>
If you’ve consumed even a tiny bit of sports media in the past few years, you’ve no doubt come across a particular kind of story. It’s a lighthearted one, and the hook is something like, “Hey! Did you know that [group of athletes] are really interested in [non-sports related object or activity]? Isn...