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Fresh Legs Are For Suckers
The half-marathon was yesterday. This post concerns the week leading up to the race, so I'll talk about that next week. Assuming I finished the race and/or did not die. Stay tuned! Here's this week's Spotify playlist....

Running 50 Miles Across Kansas Was Actually Kind Of Awesome
I ran in the Bison 50 Relay race from Topeka to Lawrence, Kansas last weekend. It was 50 miles and surprisingly not the worst thing I've ever done. Next week I'll run a half-marathon in Florida and then, well, I don't know what I'll do. Probably get re-fat on alcohol and seasonal treats for the nex...

The Horse Lovers
Outside the barn. Everyone is hushed, reverential, expectant. The second assistant director; Cheryl’s stand-in; a CBS female executive; and another woman, are all standing close to the closed barn door. Their ears are pressed against the door, waiting for word of the birth of the foal. Their faces h...

No Matter How Far You Go, You Can't Outrun Stupid
You think you've exhausted the myriad avenues available to you in which it is possible to be an idiot at life and then you have a week like this one. Whatever the opposite of Mad Genius is, that's me. Recovering Fatass Soundtrack: Sane Moron Edition. Let's get down to brass tacks, shall we? Your Spo...

High School Volleyballer Suspended For Being Designated Driver
A Massachusetts high school senior has been suspended for five matches and stripped of her volleyball captaincy thanks to the school's no-tolerance policy toward alcohol. Except she wasn't drinking, and had only shown up at the house party to drive an intoxicated friend home. ...

Breakfast Is A Pain In The Ass, But Probably Helpful
It is October, a time for drinking seasonal beers and being hearty. I am not drinking seasonal beers because I gave up drinking for the month because of an upcoming race. I gave up drinking for running; it's terrible. As you're reading this, I am likely getting drunk at a football game. Here is your...

Dan Snyder's Open Letter Is As Gross As You'd Think It Would Be
Dan Snyder is that rare person who comes off as even more despicable when he's trying to be thoughtful than when he's just openly being a prick. Case in point: this hilariously tone deaf open letter to "Everyone in our Redskins Nation" (kind of like a reservation!) in defense of the team's nickname,...

Dan Snyder Sucks at PR, According To Dan Snyder's Former PR Company
Adweek magazine ran its version of the Redskins name story a few days ago. The main question under consideration was whether social media have "propelled" the controversy over the team's name. Yes, was the conclusion....

Running Uphill Is The Worst, But You Should Probably Still Do It
I am now mere weeks away from some kind of buffalo/cow/large land-mammal-themed relay race in Kansas City and a few weeks more removed from the Wine and Dine half-marathon in Florida. I'm also going on a booze sabbatical. Things are terrible lately. Come, join in the misery and music. Here's the Spo...

Buckeyes' Last-Minute Cover Had Brent Musburger Chuckling His Ass Off
Ohio State covered the spread last night against Northwestern in the most bizarre and unlikely way that Brent Musburger, couldn't help giving voice to the cursing masses across the country. ...

Government Shutdown Means Overseas Troops Can't Watch Sports
In the grand scheme of sites and services affected by the government shutdown, it is a very minor thing. But think about how miserable you are when weather or carriage disputes or cable problems keep you from watching your favorite team play. That's happening now for thousands of American service me...

Government Shutdown Cancels Service Academy Sports
The first government shutdown in 17 years is the result of Congress failing to pass a budget; without it, the government doesn't have the authority to spend money on anything but "essential" services. Sports are apparently not among them—the service academies have suspended all sporting events effec...

Old People Think Younger Kids Aren't Running Fast Because Of <i>The Wire</i>
Welcome back to Recovering Fatass Soundtrack, where talk about running, music and, this week, how old people are the worst. I went full albums again this week (with some randos sprinkled in to make up the time), which is why I've organized some as "Band, Album." A full album is kind of like an instr...

Life Is A Lot Better When You Don't Expect Much Of Yourself
What a smooth week of being physically fit and observing a healthy, balanced diet it has been. What say we gather 'round the chiminea and swap stories of our personal triumphs? And share music, too. Here's a Spotify playlist. Let's get to it....

Audiobooks Are For Communists And Charles Bronson Villains
We welcome September into our lives and all it has to offer: sweet weather, the NFL, meaningful baseball games and two months before I have to run 13.1 consecutive miles. It's a pretty decent time to be alive; let's talk about why it's not. Here's your Spotify playlist....

When The Treadmill Makes You Hate What You Once Loved
I discovered something this week on the treadmill. God, the treadmill is just the worst. The absolute worst. That's not the discovery. Calling that a discovery is like saying Christopher Columbus discovered the Americas. What I'm saying is: the Vikings were somehow involved in the manufacturing of a...

Let's Watch The Raiders' Taiwan Jones Jump Over A Car For $200
A bunch of Oakland Raiders went out for Darren McFadden's 26th birthday the other night. It was a momentous occasion. Taiwan Jones, a running back who was switched to cornerback during the offseason, jumped over a BMW for $200. Tyvon Branch posted it to Instagram. A good time was had by all....

The Worst Album Covers Of All-Time
According to this most entertaining 2012 post over at Tastebuds. So many to choose from. Here are just a few:...

Everything Is A Slippery Slope When You Are Weak-Willed
We've got a short playlist this week for a couple of reasons. First, I am at the very beginning of a new training schedule, so we're starting slow at three miles. Second, one of the songs was 16-minutes long. You're going to hate it. Here we go! A Spotify playlist can be found here, and the rest sta...

High School Cheerleaders Make Giant Sign With Giant Misspelled Word
Two! Four! Six! Eight!...