ow Page 1023 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Super Bowl Sub-Plot #6: Larry Effin' Fitzgerald
There are several key storylines that will be beaten into the ground by everyone who covers the Super Bowl over the next week. We will beat them down even further....
Roger Clemens Will Be Ready To Pitch...Right After His Sadomasochistic Rubdown
New excerpts from Torre's "The Yankee Years" (insert Tom Verducci yelling "It's not a memoir!" right here) have surfaced. One anecdote tells us how Roger Clemens achieved that anguished look on his face while he pitched....
SWF Seeks Any Man Who's Breathing For Matrimony, Possible Attention Whoring
With three days to go, Amy Borkowski is only a few dollars short of her goal to raise $3 million to buy a 30-second Super Bowl ad. Exactly how short? $2,993,795....
ESPN Chat Is Clearly Pulling Out All The Stops
Wait, a chance to chat with a member of the Detroit Lions AND Jared from Subway, on the same day? This truly is the greatest country there ever was. [ESPN Chat Schedule]...
This Is Your Brain. This Is Your Brain On Football
A couple days ago, more definitive evidence that the professional helmet-smashing lifespan of an NFL player has detrimental effects on the human brain. It still probably won't change the way the game is played....
What, No Retractable Roof?
OK, this is quite possibly, as the builders claim, the most excellent snack food stadium ever built. But we still have questions. Such as: Was it publicly or privately financed?...
Former Iowa Hawkeye Broadcaster, Kansas City Chief Ed Podolak Can See Clearly Now
"After considerable deliberation with my family and close friends, I've decided to seek professional treatment. [T]he people closest to me in life have convinced me that treatment is in my best interest." [The Pitch]...
Super Bowl Sub-Plot #5: The Strip Clubs Of Tampa
There are several key storylines that will beaten into the ground by everyone who covers the Super Bowl over the next week. We will beat them down even further....
Jeff Reed Is Getting Accustomed To His Surroundings
We're four days from the big game, and a certain Steelers kicker is determined to be well lubricated. "Neil Rackers would never be so ill-behaved." [Kissing Suzy Kolber]...
George Bodenheimer Reminds Bristol Of The Wintry Economic Climate We're In
This afternoon ESPN President George Bodenheimer addressed his troops via video on ESPN's corporate intranet to let everyone know there's a hiring freeze, no more raises, and "downsizing" and "discontinuation" are imminent....
The Super Bowl Does Not Want Your Erotic Fruits And Veggies
Our story so far: PETA produced a Super Bowl ad that featured scantily-clad women doing naughty things with vegetables. Somehow, Sean Salisbury and Whoopi Goldberg got involved. Then things got weird ......
The Ballad Of Brenda And Kurtis The Stock Boy
Sports is a cold and cynical world, but its nice to know that uplifting tales of goodness can be found in the abyss. Oh, look... your mom just forwarded you an email from 1999!...
Steelers Fullback Dodges Biggest Bullet In History
Sean McHugh thought his life was over after getting cut by the Lions in September. He's playing in the Super Bowl on Sunday. Who knew getting released by Detroit could have a silver lining? [Yahoo]...
Not-So-Secret Origin Of The Bud Bowl, Including Surprise, Alternate Ending
Possibly the most enduring Super Bowl advertising campaign of all time was the Bud Bowl, in which football-playing longneck bottles taught us how to love watery, American-made beer once again....
ESPN Voters Hotly Divided; Need A Life
Since I have absolutely no faith in the Worldwide Leader's abilities in self-parody, I have to assume that this is real. Un. Believe. Able....
Bring On Da Journalism, Bring On Da Noise
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
NFL Network Clearly Didn't Prepare For Marshall Faulk's Hyperhidrosis Problem
First day of Super Bowl media overkill has ended as has the usefulness of Marshall Faulk's shirt. Did he take too much 5-hour energy before hand or something?...
About Those $9,000 Super Bowl Tickets ...
Yeah, in reality, turns out they're not going for anywhere near that high. And in addition here's some great Super Bowl parties you can crash....
Matt Leinart Is Open To Pain And Has Been Crossed By The Rain
Matt Leinart's week in Tampa will mostly be spent answering how it feels to piss away an opportunity or being pestered by entertainment reporter Maria Menounos about party-hopping. But remember — he's a changed man....
Meet The Mr. Irrelevant of Super Bowl XLIII: Elliot Vallejo
"Well, first of all, there are worse things than being the 106th guy in the Super Bowl. A lot of guys on other teams just wish they were at the Super Bowl. There are a whole lot of people who would trade places with me." [Fanhouse]...