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Today's NFL Season Recap: The Dallas Cowboys
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If You Don't Cook Brats, The Terrorists Win
As mentioned, we're heading to Glendale for the Super Bowl this year — yes, yes, book promotion — and we were looking forward to walking around some of the tailgates beforehand on Super Sunday. But we'd forgotten: They don't allow tailgates at the Super Bowl. A travesty, and now some people are tryi...

About Last Night
What you missed while unleashing hell with a rubber band gun ... • NBA: Celtics win, Earth returns to normal orbit. • College basketball: Knight's 900th win is rather meaningful ... Texas Tech 68, No. 9 Texas A&M 53. • NFL: OK, his name is very similar to Tony Soprano. We get it. Dolphins hire Spara...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you prepare a cloned meat sandwich ... • College basketball: Duke at Florida State (7 p.m., ET); North Carolina at Georgia Tech (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Texas A&M at Texas Tech (9:30 p.m.) [ESPN2]. Bobby Knight is locked and loaded. • NBA: Chicago at Miami (7 p.m., ET). [ESPN2] STIMPY: ...

One Man's TV Nightmare Is Another's Comedy Gold
Of course, when you're struggling like this, it's always helpful to have a couple of smart-ass girls in the studio mocking you relentlessly....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after celebrating Wikipedia's seventh birthday ... • College basketball: Ohio State at Michigan State (7 p.m., ET); Kentucky at Mississippi State (9 p.m., ET). It's ESPN Super Tuesday! Only, you know, without so much Mitt Romney. [ESPN] • NHL: Montreal at New York Islanders (7 p.m., ET...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you maneuver Tank Chair into viewing position to watch ANYTHING YOU DAMN WELL PLEASE ... • College basketball: Georgetown at Pittsburgh (7 p.m., ET); Oklahoma at Kansas (9 p.m., ET); Gonzaga at Pepperdine (midnight, ET). Screw sleep; let's watch Pepperdine! [ESPN] • NHL: New York Ra...

The Crying Game
There are times when you expect a grown man to cry; like when they confiscated all of Bluto’s booze in Animal House. But this is kind of weird. Watch here as Terrell Owens weeps openly during Sunday’s post-game press conference, all because the mean media types have been picking on Tony Romo....

NFL Playoff Blogdome
What they're saying about New York's 21-17 win over Dallas in the NFC Playoffs, plus maybe a few notes about San Diego's AFC win over Indianapolis as well ......

The Lonesome Tony Romo
Tony Romo is taking all the heat today — it's gonna get to the point that he's going to want to stop wanting to even make the playoffs — but the Cowboys' collapse yesterday was a true team effort. Despite the rosy denials of Cowboys boosters, this was a devastating loss in every possible way. (Look...

Giants-Cowboys, Second Half Live Blog
If New York wins this game, they're going to have to play in Green Bay, so Gibril Wilson seems game in case they have to play another Ice Bowl in Wisconsin. But the game's only 14-14 at halftime, and we are also 4-for-4 in evenly-matched first halves this weekend. Follow along after the jump to see ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while having so many people to thank, wow, my incredible cast, I couldn't have done it without you, my director, my agent who believed in me when nobody else did, my parents, who always supported everything I've always done, the studio, oh my god I know I'm leaving someone out, and all...

Giants-Cowboys, First Half Live Blog
Well, it's going to be hard to top the excitement on that Chargers upset, but there's only one way to find out: guesstimation. No it won't! It won't be as thrilling! But hopefully it's fun enough to sit through another live blog, because that's what's gonna happen....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while the floor lamp watches you back, lovingly ... • 8:00 p.m. — NFL Playoffs: Jacksonville Jaguars at New England Patriots. Josh Scobee won't be wearing heated pants, but hasn't ruled out pink boxers. [CBS] • 8:00 p.m. — C.O.P.S. They're not new, but what the hell difference does tha...


At Least One Super Bowl Ad Won't Be Funny
I've just been wired an announcement from the Department of Stuff We Already Friggin' Learned In Third Grade: drugs are bad for you and they're illegal. Did you know they're illegal? They're also bad for you. Apparently the DSWAFLTG is not on the same page with the WHONDCP (White House Office of Nat...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while making Baghdad's first-ever snow infidels... • NHL: Wild top Blackhawks 5-2 as Josh Harding saves 41; 300 wounded. • NBA: LeBron James leads Cavs to: (a) win, (b) loss, (c) the locker room at halftime, (d) none of the above, (e) both a and c. • Justice system: Bail shocks O.J. ...

Who Are We? "The Blues!" Who Are We Gonna Beat? "The Blues!"
There doesn't seem to be a bevy of interesting games — even for soccer fans! — save for one game, Man City and Everton. They're separated by a mere three points at the top of the standings "tables," and Man City hasn't lost a game "match" to anyone recently except Tottenham. That kind of consistency...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while playing with your Mr. Potato Head ... • NBA: Miami at New Orleans (8 p.m., ET); Milwaukee at Los Angeles Lakers (10:30 p.m., ET) [ESPN]. Visit the famed French Quarter before the game. And there's one in New Orleans too, I hear. • Boxing: Super middleweights, Edison Miranda "Righ...

NFL Divisional Pants Party: Cowboys Vs. Giants
You know what would really blow people's minds? If Jessica Simpson would have dated Eli Manning instead. Man, those guys would have some scintillating conversations....