ow Page 1160 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after police return your enormous burrito ... • MLB: Detroit at New York Yankees. A preview of the ALCS (oops, did we say that out loud?) [ESPN] • Tennis: U.S. Open, men's first and women's second round, at New York. Oh Squeegee boy, you missed a spot ... [USA] • WNBA: Finals, Game 1, ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Richardson prays to the antler gods for another season of Deadwood ... • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Pittsburgh. They have to play. It's the law. [WGN] • Tennis: U.S. Open, first round, at New York. Come watch the tournament that Al-Jazeera refuses to acknowledge. [USA] • Soccer: 2006 FIFA...
To Watch Tonight
What not to watch after living in parts of three centuries ... • Little League World Series: Championship, at Williamsport, Pa., Kawaguchi City, Japan vs. Columbus, Ga. Our 'Welcome, Japanese Overlords' sign is ready. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at Oakland. Which team will make more contact tonight? The G...
To Watch Tonight...
• MLB. Chicago Cubs @ St. Louis Cardinals. The Cards look for the sweep. The Cubs are like those scrub college football teams that powerhouses schedule just because they want a cheap win. 8:00, ESPN. • MLS Soccer. Columbus Crew @ New England Revolution. There's no better way to spend your evening th...
The Media Creates $9,500 In Fines For Terrell Owens
No one involved wants to comment on it, but the Dallas Cowboys have finally fined Terrell Owens $9,500 for missing a team meeting, missing a rehab session, being late to an offensive meeting, and, according to Bill Parcells "being such a dick."...
To Watch Tonight...
• Little League Baseball. Mexico vs. Japan. The battle for the right to be the team that everyone in America roots against tomorrow. 8:00, ESPN. • WNBA. Sacramento Monarchs @ Los Angeles Sparks. I wonder if the Maloof brothers feel obligated to attend these things. 9:00, ESPN2. • NFL Preseason Footb...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch to avoid another one of those a troubling dreams involving Mr. Celery ... • MNF: Steelers vs. Eagles, preseason. We're sure the fans from both sides will be quite genteel. [ESPN] • Tennis: Pilot Pen Tournament, at New Haven, Conn. "I may be old, but I'm spry." [ESPN2] • MLB: Yankees at...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as raccoons make a videotape of your captured dog ... • Little League World Series: USA semifinal, Portsmouth, N.H., vs. Columbus, Ga., at Williamsport, Pa. Since they're apparently cracking down on coaches hitting their players, there's little reason for us to watch. [ESPN] • MLB: St....
Barlow Apologizes For Dropping H-Bomb On 49ers
You know, you can almost understand why an athlete would drop a Hitler reference so flippantly, without much thought. We mean, do you really think they have spent a lot of time studying the time frame? Do you really believe Kevan Barlow is like, "As a World War II scholar, I understand absolutely ...
To Watch Tonight
Come on, those chicken nachos aren't going to eat themselves ... • Little League World Series: U.S. semifinal, Illinois vs. Oregon. Who will earn the right to get humiliated by Japan? [ESPN] • MLB: Chicago White Sox at Detroit. Notjinxingtigers ... notjinxingtigers ... notjinxingtigers [ESPN2] • Mot...
Drew Henson, Man Of Many Ugly Hats
Has there ever been an athlete more consistently overconsidered, for such an extended period of time, as Drew Henson? The guy has been all potential, zero performance; he's Ryan Leaf, except he did it in two sports ... and he wasn't very good in college either....
Willie McGinest, Logic Monolith
This picture of new Cleveland Browns defensive end Willie McGinest — by the way, did you realize where Browns training camp was? Berea! — shows him wearing No. 55, the number he has worn since he played for USC more than a decade ago....
The ULTIMATE Electrolyte Power Boost!
It has been a while since we have played any organized competitive athletics, so we're a little behind on all the latest innovations in the world of sports beverages meant to quench thirst and replenish, uh, fluids or something....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as all the people in your photo album come to life and begin plotting your demise ... • Little League World Series: Pool play, at Williamsport, Pa.: Dhahran, Saudi Arabia vs. Barquisimeto, Venezuela; Columbus, Ga. vs. Lemont, Ill. Stacked on each other's shoulders, the Saudi Arabia tea...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you start to wonder if anyone's uglier than Sidney Ponson ... • Little League World Series: Pool play, at Williamsport, Pa., Surrey, B.C. vs. Barquisimeto, Venezuela; Beaverton, Ore. vs. Columbia, Mo. Having fun, kids? Only two more weeks 'till school. (That'll quiet 'em). [ESPN2] •...
NFL Season Preview: Cleveland Browns
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...
To Watch Tonight...
• MLB Baseball: Yankees @ Red Sox. Might it be possible for us to borrow Little League's mercy rule for this one? 8:00, ESPN. • Little League Baseball: Lemont, Ill. vs. Staten Island, NY. Here's a satellite image of LeMont, in case you were interested. Looks like they play a lot of baseball there. 8...
To Watch Tonight...
• Little League Baseball: Columbia, Mo. vs. Portsmouth, NH. Portsmouth is 93.55% white. 8:00, ESPN. • MLS Soccer: New York Red Bulls @ Columbus Crew. Because you know you miss Bruce Arena. 7:30, Fox Soccer. • NFL Preseason Football: New York Jets @ Washington Redskins. Clinton Portis hopes someone e...
Today In The Premiership...
Reading 3-2 Middlesbrough. Give it up for Reading, the only team in the Premiership named after a railroad on the Monopoly board. They came back from a 2-0 deficit to win their first Premiership game, 3-2 over Middlesbrough. Boro scored twice in the opening 21 minutes, and it was all Reading from ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as firefighters arrive to put out your Dell computer ... • Basketball: Men's World Championship, preliminary round, USA vs. Puerto Rico, at Sapporo, Japan. "Showdown at the House of Blue Leaves" [ESPN2] • Boxing: Middleweights, Sam "Slap Fight" Soliman vs. "Passin' Gas" Enrique Ornelas...