ow Page 1088 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
In Which Bonds And His Ex-Mistress Are Both Fully Exposed
As you may have heard by now, it seems that the November issue of Playboy has just about something for everyone. Six-page nude pictorial on ex-Barry Bonds mistress Kimberly Bell? Check. Bell's revelations about Bonds' steroid use, including eyewitness testimony concerning his shrunken testicles? Che...
It's Almost As If Owners Are Just Trying To Steal Money
It's easy to forget, when we're all caught up in the fun of the postseason and what-not, that every moment we find ourselves excited about it is designed primarily — almost solely — on putting more money in owners' pockets. You'd think they wouldn't have to fudge the rules to make more money. But th...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after bargaining for more playing time for your son ... • College football: Rice at Southern Mississippi. My Jeff Bower bobblehead is pretty much the most invincible of all of my bobblehead collection. [ESPN2] • MLB: American League Division Series, Game 1, Los Angeles at Boston; Natio...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after tucking in your pumpkin ... • College football: Marshall at Memphis. Yes, sad, but let's not overdo it, ESPN. [ESPN2] • Soccer: UEFA Champions League, Barcelona at VFB Stuttgart (same-day tape). Hopefully no one at work today will blurt out the score. [ESPN Classic] • Extreme Cag...
About Last Night
What you missed after accidentally swallowing your Bluetooth ... • MLB: It's the Holliday season ... If one of the Padres can find out where Matt Holliday lives, he can still drive over there with a ball and tag him. Then it's welcome to the 14th inning, folks! Colorado 9, San Diego 8, 13 innings. •...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while, on PBS, Eisenhower finally decides to invade Normandy ... • NFL: New England at Cincinnati. Your fantasy team has 3 total points, because most of your roster plays tonight. [ESPN] • Rugby: World Cup, South Africa vs. U.S. What happens in the scrum, stays in the scrum. [Versus] •...
Your Full Klingons-Furries Bowling Report
You might remember last week, when we told you about the glories of the Furries Vs. Klingons bowling match in Atlanta. Well, someone showed up and took a bunch of pictures. Heck, admission was only 10 bucks....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while working out the kinks on your pumpkin trebuchet... • 8 p.m. — Documentary: The Enduring Spirit of Roberto Clemente. Yeah, whatever happened to that guy? [ESPN] • 8:15 p.m. — NFL: Philadelphia Eagles at New York Giants. Can't imagine who Tiki Barber will be pulling for. [NBC] • 10...
You'd Think LeBron Would Be Accustomed To Being Surrounded By Nobodies
Like many of you since 1996, I missed Saturday Night Live last night, hosted by LeBron James, and have only the YouTubery offered up by NBC to go on. In this case, the monologue ("LeBronologue!" Oh, what whimsy!) was my favorite. There was also a High School Musical skit that had so much potential, ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while sitting on your Concorde jet toilet seat... • 8 p.m. — NCAA Football: Auburn at Florida [ESPN], Ohio State at Minnesota [ESPN2]. It's not October yet, and OSU is already playing it's second road game. Man, what a schedule. • 8 p.m. — Movie: The Office. I'm trying to think of a qu...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as police try to unravel the baffling case of The Unknown Streaker ... • MLB: San Diego at Milwaukee. This one can pretty much decide two races, right? [ESPN] • College football: West Virginia at South Florida. Go, WFV! [ESPN2] • Golf: PGA Tour, Viking Classic, second round, Madison, M...
Show 'Em Your O-Face, Brian
We hope you're excited, Bears fans; as The Sports Hernia points out, You now have Bill Lumbergh as your starting quarterback. Yeah ... we're gonna go ahead and have you play on New Years Eve this year, Rex ......
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after reading too much Poe ... • College football: Southern Mississippi at Boise State. Blue rug burns for everyone! [ESPN] • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Florida. Cubs wil not choke, Cubswillnotchoke ...[WGN] • Soccer: MLS, Los Angeles at Kansas City. A real ratings grabber, if only it were t...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you scrape together some cash to buy the Magna Carta ... • MLB: Atlanta at Philadelphia. The Braves continue to entertain notions that they are still in the playoff hunt. (Just play along). [ESPN] • MLB: Padres at Giants. Help say goodbye to Barry. (No spitting). [Channel 4 Padres] ...
It's Furries Vs. Klingons For All The (Lost) Marbles
Man, oh man, how we wish we were in Atlanta this weekend. It's the Furries vs. Klingons bowl-off. If there's anybody out that way who wants to pop by and let us know how this goes, consider yourself officially encouraged. We only wish Bob Uecker were around for it; Furry conventions are never the s...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the lesbian Brady Bunch rumors are shot down ... • MLB: Cubs at Marlins. Division title, come to Papa. [WCIU] • MLB: Padres at Giants. What else could possibly go wrong? [Channel 4 Padres] • Movie: Rocky II. Yo Adrian! I did it! [Versus]...