In Which Bonds And His Ex-Mistress Are Both Fully Exposed

As you may have heard by now, it seems that the November issue of Playboy has just about something for everyone. Six-page nude pictorial on ex-Barry Bonds mistress Kimberly Bell? Check. Bell's revelations about Bonds' steroid use, including eyewitness testimony concerning his shrunken testicles? Check. Little Annie Fanny cartoon? Well, no; that's been discontinued. Simply put, never before has one woman revealed so much in the pages of a magazine. Let's get right to the action, shall we?

Their sex life really slumped, however, when Bonds started taking steroids, driven by jealousy after Mark McGwire began receiving piles of press for his pursuit of Roger Maris' single-season home run record. Bell told Playboy that Bonds suffered from sexual dysfunction, one side effect of steroid use. He tried Viagra several times but didn't like it because it affected his vision and stuffed up his nose. His body had grown thicker, his back was pocked with acne, his hair had fallen out and his testicles had shriveled when Bonds asked his former mistress if she thought anyone would suspect he was on the juice. "Do I look bloated?" Bonds wanted to know. "Does it look funny? Do you think this is obvious?"

Bell also recounts that when Bonds first began taking steroids, his personality changed, and that she thought that his fits of rage were because he "had PMS, like a woman." Woooeee. And you thought you were embarrassed when your ex-girlfriend outed your love of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants on her Facebook page.

Barry Bonds' Ex-Mistress Details Star's Steroid Use, Temper [NY Daily News]