ow Page 1110 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Excuse Me While I Kiss The Rim
That's what Michael Jordan helped to rob you of during the NBA's Slam Dunk contest. It's nice to see it on YouTube, but it would have been far nicer to see it in primetime on TNT, in place of Nate Robinson missing dunks for two straight minutes....

To Watch Tonight...
• NBA. Sacramento Kings @ Indiana Pacers. There might even be a few guys left in Indiana who Ron Artest will recognize. 8:00, ESPN. • The 79th Annual Academy Awards. Best Supporting Actor: Sean Salisbury, Benchwarmers. 8:30, ABC. • Drag Racing. NHRA Checker Schuck's Kragen Nationals, Final Eliminati...

Craig Gower Also Has Time For Rugby
The Australian sporting landscape seems to have a different breed of derelicts than our own. When our athletes misbehave, someone ends up getting shot in a Vegas strip club. When Australian athletes misbehave, they walk naked around a resort and proposition the daughter of a sporting legend....

The First Rule Of The Super Bowl Is, You Do Not Talk About The Super Bowl... Or The Big Game
The NFL, of course, has the term "Super Bowl" trademarked, so you can't use those particular words to promote any kind of a party or gathering for the event. Not only is it illegal, but if you close your eyes and say "Super Bowl" three times, Ed Hochuli will appear in front of you and rip your godda...

To Watch Tonight...
• NASCAR. Busch Series. Stater Brothers 300. Or, as they say in NASCAR... three-hunderrd. 7:30, ESPN2. • College Hockey. Clarkson @ Quinnipiac. Do all hockey games have huge brawls like that one the other night? If they do, I might watch this. 8:00, ESPNU. • Indiana @ Michigan State. I think all the...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your dog is in the next room downloading Lassie porn ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Kelvin Davis vs. Darnell Wilson, at Scranton, Pa. Hey, why does the Rocky statue have a needle in it's ass? [ESPN2] • Cycling: Amgen Tour of California, stage 5, at Solvang. What the hell, let's all pul...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after flying monkeys remove your stuffing and kidnap Dorothy ... • Cycling: Tour of California, stage 4, Seaside to San Luis Obispo, Calif. It's a pleasant afternoon here on the coast, as the riders are ... ah! Seagulls! Pecking my eyes! [Versus] • College basketball: Rice at Memphis; ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while pondering the top 10 movie guns of all time ... • College men's basketball: Boston College at Virginia Tech [ESPN]; Texas A&M at Oklahoma State [ESPN]; St. John's at Louisville. You study your huge NCAA Tournament wall bracket with the intensity of Patton in Sicily. [ESPN2] • Cyc...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize that Kurt Cobain WOULD HAVE BEEN 40 YEARS OLD TODAY ... • College basketball: Wisconsin at Michigan State; LSU at Kentucky [ESPN] ; DePaul at Notre Dame. Oh guide this free throw, sweet baby Jesus, and also help me smite mine enemies. [ESPN2] • NBA: Denver at San Antonio...

To Watch Tonight
What The Hoff won't be watching tonight ... • College basketball: Villanova at Marquette; Kansas at Kansas State. The flattest matchup in all of college hoops. [ESPN] • Women's basketball: Tennessee at LSU. This may be the one where some of the players kiss. [ESPN2] • Cycling: Tour of California, St...

To Watch Tonight...
• Movie. Any Given Sunday. If Steamin' Willie Beamon was traded to Cleveland... how would his nickname be different? 7:00, FX. • NBA. 2007 All-Star Game. Shaq has shoes that are also a slot machine. And that's less ridiculous than Craig Sager's jacket. 8:30, TNT. • Figure Skating. Four Continents Ch...

You Will Dance With Shaq And You Will Like It
There aren't many good reasons not to like Shaq. This was Shaq having fun at the All-Star practice yesterday, forcing LeBron and Dwight Howard to have fun along with him. I realize that Shaq is not everyone's cup of tea, but when he retires, who's going to do stuff like this? It seems like Shaq is m...

To Watch Tonight...
• NBA. 2007 All-Star Skills Competition. Scottie Pippen's comeback begins tonight in that weird shooting competition with the active NBA'er and the girl. 8:30, TNT. • Movie. Radio. Then don't call me Unit 91, Radio. 8:00, FX. • College Basketball. North Carolina @ Boston College. Tarhells forward Br...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you face the ultimate Inconvenient Truth: warm beer ... • Boxing: Middleweights, Verno Phillips vs. Eddie Sanchez, at Las Vegas [ESPN2]; Super middleweights, Andre Dirrell vs. Kenny Kost; heavyweights, Tony Thompson vs. Timor Ibragimov, at Los Angeles [FSN]; Champion Mike Oliver vs....

Rarely Are Pillow Fights Won So Decisively
We imagine that this is what the ancient Roman gladitorial games must have been like, if they fought with pillows, and one of the combatants was an incredible wuss. "Think that's the worst of it? Release the kitten!"...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you relax with an ice chest full of beer while wearing an astronaut diaper ... • College basketball: Providence at Notre Dame [ESPN]; Massachusetts at Fordham. Shall Rose Hill Gym not be rocked tonight? [ESPN2] • College basketball: UCLA at Arizona State; Oregon State at Stanford. I...

Tim Hardaway Wants Only Straight Men To See His Penis
So, by now, everyone has heard former NBA point guard Tim Hardaway's comments on the Dan LeBatard show yesterday, but just in case you're up for some caveman rhetoric — he'll have the roast duck with the mango salsa — here's the full audio of the interview....

What You See After You Hang Out With The Gonzaga Basketball Team
From the Things We Don't Understand file, we end your day with this entirely random video that features Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and "Saved By The Bell"'s Mr. Belding playing Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" with "metal" "band" Metal Skool....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you find out that you can FINALLY enlist ... • College basketball: Ohio State at Penn State; Duke at Boston College. Eagles can drive a stake through the heart once and for all. [ESPN] • College basketball: Maryland at N.C. State [ESPN2]; Utah at Air Force. Big fun in the Mountain W...

Wrapping Up The Westminster Dog Show
The Westminster Dog Show at Madison Square Garden features the finest athletic specimens at MSG since ... well, since the last Dog Show. We don't consider competitive dog preening a sport, but we do find it funny, and we think Best In Show is one of the funniest movies ever made....