ow Page 900 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
For Trivia-Contest Purposes, It's Best To Remember Seattle Isn't In California
During last night's Syracuse Chiefs 5-2 victory over the Gwinnett Braves, two fans vied to win a foam finger in a "Smarter Than An Intern" trivia contest. The secret question (paraphrased): Name the 13 professional sports franchises in California. With the eighth pick, one competitor chose the Sea...
One Team Scored Its First English Premier League Goal In 15 Years Today, And It Was Against Tim Howard
In its second game back in the English Premier League after a relegation stint in the Division 1 hinterlands, Queens Park Rangers got its first victory today, defeating Everton 1-0....
Charles Mann Will Have You Know That He's Totally Straight
On the sidelines with a mic for last night's Washington/Indianapolis game, former Redskin Charles Mann complimented the heck out of safety LaRon Landry as O.J. Atogwe took it all in. Talking about how he looked fantastic. But wait, wait, not like that. He's happily married. To a woman. Totally str...
The Winner Of Iowa-Iowa State Gets This Awful Trophy
This is the new Cy-Hawk Trophy, given annually to the winner of the Iowa State-Iowa football game. It depicts an Iowa farmer presenting to his family some of the subsidy-fattened corn crop that he will soon sell to an Archer Daniels Midland processing plant in Keokuk, whereupon the corn will be conv...
This Just Might Be The Worst Slide In Baseball History
This is from way back in July, but after being brought to our attention by Hot Clicks, via Logan Morrison, we'll do our part to make sure everybody in the world sees Graham Taylor hurl himself onto the plate like a sack of potatoes with MS that was just struck by lightning....
Before It Went To War With China, Georgetown Was Quite Excited About Its Overseas Mission
Georgetown University sent a hype-man of an email to graduates and others in June. Oh, what could have been if things didn't devolve to diplomacy decimation with the quickness....
Terry Bradshaw Doesn't Seem To Realize That Hawaii Is A State
During tonight's Philadelphia Eagles/Pittsburgh Steelers preseason game, conversation in the Fox Sports booth turned to Troy Polamalu and Hawaii. Here's a quick synopsis:...
The Two Pro Wrestlers You'd Least Expect To Date Are Now In A Nude Photo Lawsuit
Once upon a time, you probably would have wanted to see Terri Runnels nude. If you came of age in the WWE's Attitude Era, she was up there with Sable and Sunny as one of the company's top sex symbols. Now? Not so much. Runnels is suing an ex-boyfriend for libel after he made disparaging Facebook com...
China Would Prefer Not To Dwell On Any Incident That May Or May Not Have Occurred Between Georgetown And The People's Liberation Army
Here's the online front page of the state-run English-language China Daily this afternoon. Welcome to China, Joe Biden! Hey, wasn't that goodwill mission supposed to include a basketball game?...
Here's Video Of The Georgetown-China On-Court Fight
Via @bubbaprog at SportsGrid....
Pitcher, Batter Reconcile HBP Over Twitter: "Just Grazed The Schnaz A Little Bit"
This is a beautiful story of modern reconciliation. Last night, Toronto's Brandon Morrow hit Mariner Casper Wells with a pitch. The outfielder was forced to sit out the remainder of the game, which deprived him of the chance to extend his home run streak to five straight games....
Georgetown Brawls With Chinese Team
This is not how you do a goodwill tour....
You Won't Believe The Crazy Shit That Happened At Tony Romo's Bachelor Party
"The 31-year-old signal-caller and his 14 or 15 buddies ditched the alcohol and partying. Instead, they traveled to a cabin in West Virginia and played a few games of hide-and-seek." [Dallas Morning News]...
Jim Thome Is Just A "Big, Friendly Farm Boy," And Other Aw-Shucks Observations
On Monday night, Minnesota's Jim Thome became the eighth player in MLB history to hit 600 career home runs. Sports media has declared that not enough people noticed his feat (to its credit, though, the condom sector did). So let us humbly praise the humble man who is, in the immortal words of Tim Ku...
Torii Hunter Gets Trapped In An Oxygen Chamber, Pisses In a Bottle, Tweets
In need of a little rejuvenation after the Angels' 7-3 loss last night to the Rangers, Torii Hunter entered a clubhouse oxygen chamber, thinking that would do the trick. It's not known what happened next—whether Hunter stayed in the chamber too long and was forgotten about, or whether no one realiz...
Today In <em>The New York Times</em> Answering Questions No One Is Asking
"'Ralph Branca is not a Jew,' said Alan Dershowitz, a Brooklyn-born Dodgers fan, lawyer and Harvard professor." [NYT]...
Dropping In On The Demented Utopia Of The Gathering Of The Juggalos
I have infinite shortcomings as a Juggalette, but here are my two main ones: I can't say "titties" with a straight face, even when my face is covered with clown makeup. And I do not have any desire ever to show my own titties to crowds of ravenous young men I do not know. Many women at the 12th annu...
Watch Batting Stance Guy's Creepily Accurate Impressions Of All Your Least Favorite MLB Reporters
There's Terrorized Tim Kurkjian, precious Pedro Gomez, particular Peter Gammons, and Jon fucking Heyman....
He Turns Water Into Wine, But He Still Can't Throw A 15-Yard Out
Your morning roundup for Aug. 16, the day the view from a diving board made us piss our speedos. Photo via Last Angry Fan. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....