ow Page 962 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sports Website With Silly Name Makes Cameo On "Southland"
No, it's nowhere near as great as the "You're With Me Leather" spot on Las Vegas from a couple years ago, but it is always flattering to be parodied. Watch the clip after the jump....

Taxpayers Fail To Unsoil Bowden's Legacy
The legal costs for FSU's fruitless fight to overturn those 12 forfeited games? $102,000 in tax dollars, and $70,000 from the boosters' fund. [Florida Times-Union]...

Philadelphia's MLS Team Plays Dirty, Like A Philly Team Should
Well, the Philadelphia Union exist now. And if one game is a large enough sample size, they're going to be every bit as physical as the city has come to expect from its teams....

<em>Joe Buck Live</em> Pretty Much Dead, Joe Buck Says
Fox's Joe Buck seems convinced "Joe Buck Live" will be canceled, but HBO still hasn't made it official. HBO reps went the "no comment" route when we asked about the show's status. Joe Buck sent us these parting thoughts:...

Down And Out In Daytona, Part 3: A False-Titted Spring
This is the final installment of Pat Jordan's Spring Break adventure, in which our correspondent attends a wet t-shirt contest and finds America in a state of permanent adolescence and mild arousal. Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here....

Down And Out In Daytona, Part 2: Among The Fornicators
This is the second installment of Pat Jordan's dispatch from Spring Break. Jordan, the author of A False Spring, took his gun and his cigars to Daytona Beach and filed this report over the mojo wire. Part 1 is here....

Tebow Draft Rationalization Watch: The Patriots Are Capable Of Anything
As the NFL Draft approaches, many team fanbases will attempt complex logical gymnastics to talk themselves into using a first-round pick on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Today: What does Bill Belichick know that we don't?...

Searching For...The Player Who Told Tim Tebow To STFU
One NFL hopeful shocked and delighted the world by telling Tebow to "shut the fuck up" after he requested a pre-Wonderlic prayer. But we haven't yet been able to put a name to the words. That's where you come in....

Video: Urban Meyer Threatens Reporter Over Tebow Quotes
The Gator coach had words — and almost more — with an Orlando Sentinel reporter over what he thought was unfair treatment of Tim Tebow. For a man with stress-related health problems, this was not a good moment for Meyer....

Beat Kansas, Win A Ten-Year Contract
Northern Iowa head coach Ben Jacobson just nailed down a new ten-year deal that nearly doubles his current salary. Also: Free corn-on-the-cob for life. [Waterloo Cedar Falls Courier]...

Swiperboy And Bruce Pearl's Son Make Tennessee Most Entertaining (Or Infuriating) Sweet 16 Team
Looking for a bandwagon NCAA team now that yours has been eliminated? How about Tennessee? At the very least, their smooth rhymes and maddening nepotism will give you something talk about at the water cooler....

Down And Out In Daytona, Part 1: A Postcard From Spring Break, Circa 1983
Earlier this month, we sent Pat Jordan, author of A False Spring and a lot of fine sports journalism, down to Daytona Beach for Spring Break. He took a pistol and a van and sent back this report, via fax....

David Mamet's All-Caps Memo To TV Writers Is Delightful: "The Scene Is A Crock Of Shit"
Slashfilm got a hold of a David Mamet memo (say that three times fast and cuss profusely) to the writing staff of The Unit, a show he created. Simply put, he isn't pleased with their work. FUCK THE MACHINE! [Slashfilm]...

So, Here's A Dog Show Judge Playing With A Bulldog's Nutsack
Tickling a dog's scrotum apparently gives it a facial expression closer to the breed's standard, thereby pleasing judges. Also pleasing the dog, obviously....

After Attempted Combine Prayer, Tebow Told To "Shut The Fuck Up"
Tebow reportedly requested the room bow their heads in prayer before the Wonderlic. Another player reportedly told him to "shut the fuck up." The nation reportedly offers a brofist. [PFT]...

Gators WR Excited For Passes Aimed Above His Knees
Deonte Thompson is not too sad about transitioning from Tim Tebow to John Brantley: "You know what I mean, a real quarterback." But how is Brantley's relationship with Jesus? [Orlando Sentinel]...

The Preakness Promise: You Will Get Hammered On The Infield This Year
After a ban on outside beverages led to a huge drop in attendance last year, officials at Pimlico Racetrack are changing course. Still no outside drinks, but $20 gets you a bottomless mug of beer. This plan has no flaws....

How To Tap A Fucking Keg
We asked Awl contributor Abe Sauer to write a profanity-filled, Spring Break-themed servicey piece, one that could be useful for both dopey sun-poisoned college kids and backyard BBQ enthusiasts. The Awl agreed to let us borrow its occasional series. Enjoy....

Classic Tony Romo Interview Becomes Student Broadcaster's Nightmare
A young broadcasting student at Eastern Illinois University scored a major get with alumnus Tony Romo, but I guess student activities fees don't cover dedicated phone lines for interviews. "Tony, can you hear me?" [YouTube; skip ahead for dramatic conclusion.]...

Phil Mushnick Does Not Want To Hear About Anyone's Testicles
"[Bill Raftery's] continued hollering of a crude crotch term after a big shot long ago should have ended, if not voluntarily, then on orders." Relatedly, in the same column, Mushnick professes to miss Billy Packer, who's a dick. [NYP]...