ow Page 994 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Twitter Provides More Unintentional Hilarity From ESPN
"As social-media sites continue to mature, the clamps are going to tighten on what athletes are allowed to do with it." Yes, those poor athletes. (Twitter got hacked today, btw. They're just like us!) [ESPN]...

You May Be Taller, But You're Still Beneath Him
Mike Lupica's ego is to sportswriting what Milton Berle's cock is to comedy. It is an occupational totem, around which colleagues spin fantastical-seeming yarns that just so happen to be true. Here are a few such tales....

Frank Deford Has Noticed That ESPN Has Some Influence
Once a week, Frank Deford ambles down to his local NPR station, talks into a microphone for three minutes, then goes back to his VHS library of women's Wimbledon matches. This week, he had "harsh" words for his some-time employer....

Rick Reilly®'s Column Manages To Be Awful In New And Exciting Ways
Rick Reilly® has some kind words for oily mediocrity Rick Neuheisel, a coach whose sole discernible talent is that he tricks people like Rick Reilly® into writing kind words about Rick Neuheisel — and, in this case, into rewriting history....

The Eyes Of Texas Are Upon You
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

ESPN Twitter Memo: The Remix
So now that the infamous memo has been passed around to everyone, ESPN has reworked their guidelines for those individuals still confused or incensed by the policy and what they can and cannot do....

Jay Glazer Is Ready To Make Mortensen's 2009 NFL Season Miserable
Tough start of the week for Mort. First, ESPN takes away his Twitter freedom. And now he's back at training camp and dealing with this asshole again. Which week do you think Glazer TP's the Mort Mobile? [PFT]...

This Photo Hurts My Heart
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Coach Who Said Hitler Was A Good Leader Wants To Run For Congress
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

LA Headline Writers Need Sensitivity Training
"Injuries Haven't Killed Angels," trumpets the headline in the LA Daily News. Except for, you know, that injury that killed an Angels player four months ago. [LADN]...

Hardline Twitter Memo Makes ESPN Employees Hilariously Paranoid
ESPN NBA writer Ric Bucher set the World Wide Leader's legion of writers, editors, and on-air personalities with raging Twitter habits into a collective shit-tizzy with one of his updates. Now, a revolution is afoot! Not really....

It Might Be Time For ESPN To Update Its Sidebar
The schedule is out, so it's time to gear up for the NBA season ... in 2006, apparently. Hey ESPN, would you like us to hold Seattle down while you twist its nipple and take its lunch money? [ESPN]...

Terrible Ratings Won't Stop Onslaught Of Sports Reality Shows
There have been a lot of sports-themed reality shows on TV lately—Superstars, Fourth and Long, The T.O. Show, etc.—and they all have two things in common. They are terrible and people hate them. So let's greenlight some more!...

If A Photo Of A Norwegian Black Metal Band Is On Deadspin, That Means Shit Is Seriously Messed Up
For real. This is the first snow day since I've been at Gawker, but the server problems are quite severe this time site-wide and it's making everyone's day miserable. So we're shutting it down for today....

The Real Reason Michael Phelps Won't Meet With the Pope
It's not because he got high (as we all know, the Pope smokes dope). The reason famous fish-person Michael Phelps won't meet with the Nazi Pope is buried deep in his family history, as revealed on his Wikipedia page....

Finally, a No-Hassle Way to Receive Semen From a Dude That Looks Like This
What mother wouldn't want a puffy, bloated, thick-necked bouncing baby boy? Thanks to a sperm bank in Los Angeles, you can make your dream of birthing Ben Roethlisberger's baby without sleeping with Ben Roethlisberger come true....

MORE BREAKING: Blogger Has Crush On Tim Tebow
This day was chock full of Tebow news, huh? Some of it was even covered on the definitive internet address for Tebowniacs, TimTeblog.com. I'll give you one guess who is behind TimTeblog and his name rhymes with Shan Danoff....

Why Your Stadium Sucks: U.S. Cellular Field
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Chicago White Sox's U.S. Cellular Field....

9 Days Is A Long Time To Hold A Grudge
"N.Y. Post sports writers have been told they are welcome to return to ESPN television and radio programs, effective immediately." [Watchdog/DeitschTwitter]...

The One With Assorted Handsy Photos And Absurd Complaints
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....