owl Page 182 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ben Bishop Boner Gives Blackhawks 1-0 Lead
That’s suboptimal goaltending....
LeBron's Teammates Are Actively Playing Defense On Him
This is the NBA Finals, and the Cavaliers are committing goaltending against themselves. ...
Growlers Destroy Beer
The 50 American states share a flag, a superiority to Canada, and a passion for chicken fingers, but on most other counts they stand divided. For instance, we have half a hundred different sets of liquor laws; the only unifying theme is that each state adheres to the Constitutional mandate that its ...
Marreese Speights Dunkfail Representative Of This Game As A Whole
Tonight’s NBA Finals Game 2 has been a competitive game. It has not, exactly, been a good game. Marreese Speights attempting to end the third quarter with a big dunk and failing: Exhibit A....
Germany Are Crushing Côte d'Ivoire In The Best Bad Game I've Ever Seen
Okay, it’s just past halftime in this Germany-Côte d’Ivoire shellacking, which currently stands at 5-0. Do yourself a favor. Watch the rest of this. You won’t regret it....
Son Of Broncos Owner Arrested On Domestic Violence Charges
John Bowlen, the son of Denver Broncos owner Pat Bowlen and a corporate sponsorships coordinator for the team, was arrested last night on domestic violence charges. According to a Glendale (Co.) Police statement, dispatch received a dropped 911 call, and when they called back they heard a female scr...
I Was A Quizbowl Champion
College quizbowl is a game you don’t know, played by people you don’t know, who know lots of things you don’t know (sorry). I’m not talking about the high school game; if you’re like most people, you know the social implications that the words “high school quizbowl” supposedly carry. This is the col...
We Should All Be Watching More Pro Bowling
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How Did We All Get Sucked Into James Harden's Nightmare?
He had more turnovers than shot attempts. The whole performance was bad—sickeningly bad, broadly and in nearly all its details—but the main thing to know is that in last night’s Game 5 elimination, Houston’s James Harden conveyed the ball to the Golden State Warriors more times (13, a playoff record...
Chinese Goalie Sips From A Refreshing Bottle Of Water, Gets Scored On
OY, HEAD ON A SWIVEL, MATE! KEEP ALERT AT ALL TIMES! Here’s video of Chinese Super League keeper Sui Weijie’s career low:...
Horrible, No-Good Keeper Sends Flying, Cleats-First Kick Into Ref's Back
A yellow? You’re going to try to embed your cleats into this unsuspecting referee’s vertebrae for a measly yellow card? The world’s a cold, cold place....
<i>Tomorrowland </i>Is Hopeful, Uplifting, And Absolutely Intolerable
1. Tomorrowland is a movie about optimism and hope and brightness and good cheer, which probably explains why it put me in such a foul mood. It’s like that television evangelist who’s so smiley and squeaky-clean that you just know he’s up to something weird when no one’s looking. This movie spends m...
Warriors Beat Rockets As James Harden Can't Get Final Shot Off
James Harden was brilliant all game, putting up a ridiculous 38/10/9 line without a ton of help from his non-Dwight Howard teammates. But on the final play of the game, down 99-98 with seven seconds to attack a scrambling Warriors defense, Harden inexplicably passed the ball to Howard, and when he g...
How To Watch James Harden, The Loathsome Genius
Hi, casual basketball fan! As you’re likely aware, the NBA’s conference finals begin tonight. In the Eastern Conference, the Atlanta Hawks will take on the Cleveland Cavaliers. In the West, the Golden State Warriors will face the Houston Rockets—and their star guard, James Harden....
Bored Dummy Cesc Fàbregas Kicks Ball Into West Brom Player's Head
C’mon, Cesc. If you’re gonna pick a fight with someone, you gotta get up in his face. Don’t sit back and kick the ball at him like a little turd. (That being said, good aim, though.)...
When You're Playing FIFA And Your Controller Breaks
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Pittsburgh Pirates Lose In Hilarious Fashion
After the Cubs blew a chance to win when Starlin Castro was easily thrown out at the plate in the bottom of the 10th, Chicago made good when Gregory Polanco was unable to handle a similar short popup with the bases loaded in the 12th. In classic baseball scoring fashion, it was declared a single....
Tim Lincecum Is Struggling To Stay Upright
Something about the pitcher’s mound in Cincinnati tonight has Giants hurler Tim Lincecum falling all over the place, in multiple innings:...
Glory Boy Runner Celebrates Too Early, Loses Race
It’s running, man. Nobody was all that psyched to cheer for you anyway....
Boston U. Goalie Blows Late NCAA Title Game Lead With Huge Boner
A baffling mistake by Matt O’Connor allowed the puck into his own goal and blew Boston University’s 3-2 lead on Providence in the NCAA national championship game. Kyle McKenzie would eventually be credited with the goal, but O’Connor’s boner only grew bigger when minutes later he allowed the Friars...