owl Page 216 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's A Soccer Player Pantsing An Opponent Right In Front Of Referee
Chesterfield F.C.'s Gary Roberts was all set to take a free kick when Russell Penn of Cheltenham quietly kicked the ball out of Roberts's desired position. That's when Roberts pantsed him....

Goalie Completely Whiffs On Clear-Out Kick, Gives Up Easy Goal
I'm not sure how extensive the complete list of things goalkeepers are not supposed to do is, but I imagine it contains something along the lines of "Don't ever dribble the ball back toward your own goal," and "Don't whiff like a goddamn fool when you try to kick the ball and there's an attacking o...

J.J. Putz Gets Interrupted By "Kickstart My Heart," Spikes Ball
Theories confirmed by this clip of J.J. Putz spiking the ball after his warm-up is interrupted by a little Mötley Crüe include a) It is never not funny to see pitchers fail to deliver the ball home and b) Baseball announcers don't really love the Crüe....

A Catcher Pitched To A Pitcher Last Night, And It Was Great
Last night's Dodgers-Cardinals game was well out of hand by the ninth inning, so fans were treated to one of baseball's rarest joys: a position player taking the mound for some mop-up duty. And this particular instance was made all the better by the fact that it involved a relief pitcher who was mak...

Raul Ibañez Made A Throw Only Raul Ibañez Could Make
This man is a professional athlete!...

Ryan Lavarnway Cannot Do Anything Right
Ryan Lavarnway bounced a throw to second just beyond the mound and allowed five bases and two runs on four passed balls in the first inning tonight. Worse, he helped the Astros take the lead on the Red Sox....

Bowler's 300 Game Ruined By Premature Pinsetter
At a charity bowling tournament in Houston this weekend, poor sonofabitch Troy Walker was one strike away from a 300 game. As his ball rolled toward perfection, the pinsetter went into action with perfect timing to deny him....

Adventure Competitor Gets Neck Caught In Live Wires
This happened July 27, but we're just seeing it now because Bob's Blitz just saw it now. It's from a Tough Mudder event in Buffalo, N.Y., and this particular obstacle—the last before the finish line—is known as electroshock therapy because those are live wires hanging above all that mud and all thos...

Cyclist Cramps Up During Interview, Hilarity Ensues
I don't know who this cyclist is. I don't know the name of the race he has just competed in. I do know that he is suffering from some hellish cramps, and that the dude with the microphone should probably just leave him alone....

Musclebound Mets Fan Can't Open Water Bottle
Here, from yesterday, is your argument against the efficacy of PED use. ...

This Martial Arts Video Is An Absolute Mess
If you are a viewer of modern situational comedies, you understand the comedic value of The Extremely Awkward Situation That Gets Improbably More Awkward scene. This is like that. At one point the piece of wood he's supposed to break goes flying and hits a little girl in the face. ...

Melky Cabrera Tries To Throw A Baseball. It Does Not Go Well
Here's the GIF that pretty much sums up your season, Blue Jays fans....

Fan At Braves Game Drops Foul Ball, Lunges, Goes Splat
The ball had initially bounced a few rows back before caroming softly right toward him. Damn. He almost [THUMP!] had it....

Kick Returners Are Getting Screwed By The New Pro Bowl Rules
The big news to come out of yesterday's announcement is that the Pro Bowl is switching to a draft format instead of the old conference-vs.-conference setup. But there were a mess of new rules tacked on, and one of them will cost certain players some big money....

The Pro Bowl Will Move To A Fantasy Draft Format
The Pro Bowl! The single most pointless sporting exhibition until the WNBA adds that dunk contest they've been considering. Now the NFL is doing that thing where you ignore the vet's advice and spring for yet another surgery, even though you know deep inside that it's time to just put down the poor ...

Scott Feldman Throw Nearly Decapitates Manny Machado
The Orioles had the shift on against David Lough, and Lough tried to take advantage by bunting the ball to the left side to lead off the Royals' half of the third. O's pitcher Scott Feldman had help, with Manny Machado charging to make the play. But Feldman decided to take it himself....

Can I Flip It?
Allen Barra once gave me a set of Major League Writers trading cards. ...

Young Boston Red Sox Fan Is A Dirty Liar
Boston is home to a generally amoral and disgusting fanbase on the whole but this...this goes beyond the pale....

Ceremonial Skydiver Crashes Into Baseball Player
The music kills me. It really adds to the scene as anticipation mounts. ...

Dirk Nowitzki Sings Terribly In Very Strange Music Video
I really don't know what the hell is going on here. I have no idea who is responsible for making this video, and its intended purpose eludes me. Enjoy, I guess....