owl Page 248 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The New England Patriots Are Not Out For Revenge
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Madonna's Halftime Act Will Reportedly Be "Bringing Gay To The Super Bowl"
At least that's what the New York Daily News' gossip moles overheard one of her dancers say at a party the other night. But before James Dobson can shift uncomfortably in his chair to craft a press release, somebody really ought to tell him Madonna's 20 years behind the times....

Science! Proves That People Really Don't Like Going To Work The Morning After The Super Bowl
It's the rare SportsNation poll with a nearly perfect geographical split, somewhere around the Central and Mountain time zones. A question we had never pondered before—Which day would you prefer to watch the Super Bowl?—tears a nation asunder....

Randy Moss Is A Sideline Reporter For The Pro Bowl, But, Unfortunately, It Is Just Some Guy Named Randy Moss
It takes a lot to make one really angry about the Pro Bowl. No one cares about the Pro Bowl—not football fans, not gamblers, not even the players in the game. It's a nice Hawaiian lark before the Super Bowl....

Catching Up With Chris Brown, The Texans Super Bowl Champions Tattoo Guy
Remember Chris Brown? Sure you do. He's the supremely confident Texans fan who decided to get an irreversible reminder of a jarring lapse in judgment. As we settle in for the second half of the AFC Championship game, we turn to the Houston Press and are reminded just how jarring a lapse it was....

Robbie Findley Missed An Open Net From Two Yards Out
He didn't even come particularly close, either. The US national and Nottingham Forest striker will be rueing this one, from the first half of today's FA Cup replay at Leicester City....

Chandler Parsons Just Dunked On JaVale McGee
Sure, it's a tip-slam, but if you're 7'0" JaVale McGee then the likes of Chandler Parsons should not be dunking on you—under any circumstances. Parsons then rides around with his crotch in McGee's face for a few seconds just added to the degradation, but these sorts of things are how a team like ...

Washington State Head Coach Ken Bone Eats It On The Court
Halfway through the second half of the hotly contested battle for the state of Washington, Wazoo head coach Ken Bone is just a tad too exuberant with his request for a timeout. I hope, for his sake, he was able to pick up the spare. [FSN] ...

Jamaal Magloire Airballed A Free Throw In Spectacular Fashion
12 seconds left, game on the line. In whose hands do you want the ball? Definitely not Jamaal Magloire, who sealed a Pacers win by airballing his first free throw and bricking (but at least catching rim) on the second. [TSN]...

Somebody Stole Magic Johnson's Cue Cards
We already knew that Magic Johnson, a member of ESPN's NBA studio team, is terrible at delivering serious-faced post-game monologues straight from the cue cards. Here is further evidence that this man should not be on the mic, ever—and especially not without those cue cards. He sounds like a barit...

Hall Of Fame Coach Says "The Bowl People Might Be The Most Corrupt People In Athletics"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: John Cooper has some opinions about the shady SEC, too....

Total Prick Drops A Woman Outside A Hollywood Club And Nobody Drops Him
I know not where in Hollywood, Cal. this huge brawl featuring "guys hitting girls, girls hitting guys, girl on girl, guy on guy - it was absolute chaos" went down. But what I do know is this: In light of all the carrying-on about finding the Flyers fans who dropped the Jersey War Hero Wearing A Ra...

Obie The Orange Bowl Mascot Leaves The Hospital, Probably With A Really Intense Painkiller Addiction
It's been nearly a week since Obie was destroyed by WVU's Darwin Cook, and he (she!) is in for a lifetime of physical therapy and never-ending pain. But, baby steps. The Orange Bowl tweeted a photo of Obie leaving the hospital this afternoon, with a message for Cook....

Professional Bowler Does Thing You Usually Only See From The Very Drunk
Josh Blanchard is a rookie PBA bowler. If he manages to have a long career in pro bowling, he's unlikely to ever live this moment down, from a World Championship qualifier in Las Vegas today....

Kansas State Did Not Blow Away Arkansas, But Not For A Lack Of Trying
Your morning roundup for Jan. 7, the day we learned how to make it in this crazy, mixed up city (or cities in general). Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

After Being Leveled By Darwin Cook, The Orange Bowl Mascot Will Never Juice Again
This actually came at the end of the 99-yard fumble recovery we showed you last night, and raises a greater paradox than Schrödinger's cat: how do you decapitate a mascot that is only a head? Darwin Cook tried his damndest with a clothesline on Obie, the anthropomorphic Orange Bowl orange....

The Orange Bowl Brought Us The Schrödinger's Cat Of Touchdowns
One thing is sure: a touchdown was scored on this play. Regardless of the officials' final verdict (they ruled in favor of West Virginia) there's still plenty of doubt as to exactly which team scored it. [ESPN]...

ShortCenter: Michigan's Kicker Was Thinking About "Brunette Girls" Before His Game-Winner
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

No, Brad Nessler, West Virginia Is Not A City In Virginia
This just in from the Allstate Sugar Bowl featuring Michigan vs. Virginia Tech: In tomorrow night's Orange Bowl, the Clemson Tigers will "take on another team from the state of Virginia: West Virginia." (H/T Jeff Q. and Cyrus the Virus)...

Yep, It Looks Like A Wisconsin Assistant Coach Ate A Booger At The Rose Bowl
We think this is Wisconsin assistant coach Joe Rudolph pulling a Spaulding in the first quarter of the Rose Bowl; here it is in full forensic-quality slow-mo and zoomed-in just for your enjoyment. [ESPN]...